Review: Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema & Awkward Mondays: WHEN DID BATHROOM TECHNOLOGY DEVELOPMENT STOP!?
Junk Food Nation, my friends have cars that can park themselves. Apple is going to release the iPad mini, the size of a large sponge, which has the computing power 100x my old PC I used in college. And we now have the ability not only watch TV we recorded at home on our cellphones while driving, but also to land on Mars, develop seedless fruits, and genetically engineer and grow body parts for human transplant.
SO WHY THE HELL CAN I NEVER FIND A PUBLIC BATHROOM THAT ISN’T EFFING NASTY?
Yeah, I used a double negative – so what?? It’s true – it’s beyond me how the world has just STOPPED when it comes to developing bathroom technology. Back in the day, people would just go anywhere they wanted, I guess. Then came the outhouse, which was an improvement. Then the indoor water closet, complete with indoor plumbing. Then there was a bathroom in every home, and public bathrooms for all to enjoy. And the auto-flush – that was a big improvement. ……AND THAT’S IT??? We just figured, “Hey, the toilet flushes itself! You’re on your own after that!”
Let’s be honest – there’s a LOT that can be improved!
1) Counters and floors are ALWAYS WET: Every single public bathroom I’ve entered is moist from head to toe. There are pools of water EVERYWHERE, with no foreseeable future of dryness. We can develop robots that vaccuum floors when we’re not even there, but we can’t figure out how to keep the counter dry??? No incline, to run the water away? No surface that is porous and can absorb water at a faster rate? No robot that comes around and dries the floor? We live in 2012, people. This is not ok.
2) No vents or fans in bathrooms: This isn’t even a new concept! How do we except water, smells, or germs to dissipate from a moist environment IS THERE IS NO AIRFLOW. How are bathrooms STILL being built with no ventilation systems?? It’s BEYOND me.
3) Gross toilet seats: There HAS to be a better solution that those paper meat wrappers that we tug and rip and place down on the toilet seat. Really? I have a cellphone that can tell me the name of whatever song I hear merely but holding the phone up int he air, but I still have to sit on construction paper and hope I’m not getting crabs? No laser disinfecting technology? No super hot disinfecting air cannons? Not even and automated paper roll-out system?? NOTHING?
Look, I get it – bathroom tech is not making anyone money, so the market isn’t driven to improve it, but COME ON. Highway rest stops and sports stadium bathrooms are the worst places on the PLANET. Can we do NOTHING to help? It’s beyond me. Don’t even get me started on Port-A-Potties. YUCK.
What do you think, Junk Food Nation? What else would YOU like to see improved by technology in our bathrooms? Tell me in the comments below.
Today’s junk food: Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema!
Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema: The Money Shot
Oh Doritos Dinamita. You confusing minx. On one hand, you produce a Nacho Picoso flavor that I love. On the other hand, your Chile Limon flavor made me want to never eat again. What will these Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema do to my tastebuds? I don’t know if these are new (they are listed on Frito-Lay’s website), but they were in a GIGANTIC display at Walmart, and I knew they were going into my belly.
KABOOM QUESO!!!!
I do not give Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema credit for creative packaging. An explosion with a pepper and a block of cheese shooting out of it? Real grade school stuff, bro.
Rolled to explode with flavor? Dude, no.
I asked the Junk Food Gal about the translations on the back of this bag of Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema, and she confirmed its accuracy. She did wonder what the heck a “smoked chipotle boom” is supposed to be. I said that what happens AFTER you eat these chips. HEYOOOOOO
10 cal per
Chipotle peppers prominently featured – good
Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema is one of the only chips I’ve seen that has both cream cheese AND sour cream in it. Nice. My general rule is the more cream cheese, the better.
EXPLODE WITH…wait, nothing happened.
Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema smelled good enough, just a generally savory corn smell. Nothing too extravagant. I will say that I like the rolled shape – makes them extra crunchy. Time to chomp.
Doused with spices; no cream cheese in sight.
Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema were pretty good! Score another for the Dinamita family of snacks. These chips, however, weren’t anything special.
The rolled shape did indeed enhance the crunchiness of the chip, and the typical Dorito flavor was nice and strong. The spice profile, however, started out basically tasting like Cool Ranch – a general savory spice taste. The chipotle flavor then came on nice and strong, and having eaten a ton of adobo peppers in sauce recently, I can say they got the taste right. There was a definite chipotle pepper flavor that was spicy and smoky and unlike anything I’d tasted in other chips. So thumbs up there.
The “crema” didn’t taste like cream cheese, per se, it just tasted like – cheese. It added a creamy cheesiness to the backdrop of the spices and pepper taste. Good, but nothing mindblowing.
All in all, these sort of taste like a spicy ranch Dorito with a little cheesiness and an added smoky Chipotle flavor. On a scale of 1 to 10, this would be a 6.5-7.0. Solid chip, good taste, nothing SUPER new, but top marks for the chipotle flavor.
Nice work, Doritos!
PURCHASED AT: Walmart
COST: on sale for $2.50
Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 15 Comments
Well the Dyson blade hand dryer is a step in the right direction.
@Neil: Yes, the Dyson blade should come standard in ALL bathrooms. especially my home one.
My favorite JFG public-facility freakout was when you were complaining about how subway seats are sometimes warm because people have previously sat in them.
The main reason public restrooms are incredibly gross is because a certain percentage of the population is composed of irredeemable slobs, and they feel no responsibility to the people who have to clean said restrooms or to their fellow man. There is also an underlying issue of indadequate resource investment in public facilities in general. The worst bathrooms in my acquaintance are the bathrooms in certain National Park Service locations, which have not seen any significant capital investment in what looks to be decades. I assume the NPS employees know what’s going on and do not have the money to reverse the decay.
The inescapable conclusion is that people would rather complain about messy public bathrooms than do anything to make them less messy, such as advocate for increased investment of capital and labor in existing facilities to ensure clean conditions.
@Lindemann: once I’ve a billionaire, I will focus all my energies on bathroom tech. I want the shells from Demolition man.
@Lindemann: While I think that a certain percentage might be irredeemable slobs, there are rational non-slovenly people who nonetheless make things worse when avoiding the mess of the aforementioned slobs.
Problem: There’s a puddle of urine immediately below the urinal.
Cause: Irredeemable slob? Maybe.
Solution: Stand maybe 4 inches further back than otherwise prudent so as to avoid standing in the urine puddle.
Consequence: More urine in the puddle. Goddammit, now I’m also part of the cause.
So JFG may be right: maybe it only requires technology to clean up after that first slob to pull everyone back into line.
…except that a European company introduced a high-tech public bathroom that could be installed on street corners. After each use, the seat flipped into a wall panel for disinfecting while the entire floor is flushed with water and then dried. It took about 75 seconds for the process to run before the whole unit was available again for use. Youtube Link Here. New York tried them and gave up after about 8 years, done in by what the Times referred to as “as a profound mistrust of automation in the toilet sphere.” Story Link. Bottom line, I think: things aren’t changing.
@Shorneys: Why doesn’t Warren Buffet back these!?
Ah the good old days where you could pee anywhere you wanted. Oh wait that still happens in the majority of public bathrooms I stop at. People just disgust me to no end.
@Nick: LOL
Again, these look delicious and now I want Doritos, though not the kind newly introduced to the Korean market because they’re kind of week sauce.
But my main point in this comment is to comment on the bathroom technology. In Korea, it’s kind of a crap shoot (heh) as to the kind of bathroom you’ll have to use: squat toilets or filthy stalls that never have any toilet paper, or gigantic bathrooms that have automated covers (the one that basically looks like baking parchment paper)–as in, you press a button, new protective covering rotates around the seat. Not to mention the sudden influx of bidets. Had a nasty run in with one when turned the spray on just because and couldn’t figure out how to shut it off. Wet pants coming out of a restroom is never ok, btw. Also, a lot of places have call buttons mounted behind the toilet to tell staff when it’s getting ridiculously dirty. And two types of flushes. You get the idea.
Wow. I just wrote a long-ass comment about bathrooms. :/
I forgot which airport bathroom, i’m thinking chicago or minneapolis but they have automated toilet seat covers which rotates to a fresh one(possibly) with every flush. It basically looks like a saran wrapped toilet seat.
@Matthew Lee – LOL! Saran wrapped toilet seat! Nice. I do give some airport bathrooms credit for stepping up. Bathrooms in office buildings = F-
These sound good, can’t wait to try them.
One thing though…..the description is misleading on the front. The Spanish word ‘Crema’ used on its own (not in conjunction with queso) refers to Mexican style sour cream normally…..not cream cheese?!?!?
Obviously based on the description on the back of the bag, and the inclusion of cream cheese among the ingredients, Doritos means the flavor to be cream cheese, but they should change the name of the flavor on these ones!!!
@ChipReview – well, I think we’ve seen Doritos sometimes isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
Nooooo. I don’t want any of this bogus, failure-prone digital technology invading every possible corner and area of our existence. Let men remain primitive. Stop making us learn new things. We’re not babies, we don’t ‘need our hands held’ for a wee-ee. I’ve handled bathrooms in Asia which were merely holes gouged in the floor to squat over. I’ve seen ones where you had to clamber up a mound of feces-infused soil to even *get* to a hole. Look, it’s okay. You just deal with it because that’s what men do.
Now, I love the ‘Excelerator’ hand turbines because they’re solidly built. Rugged. But the downside is when (at my workplace) they install a ‘motion-sensor-activated towel dispenser’. Supposed to be ‘more sanitary’ than hand-cranking a towel and ripping it off yourself. Yet, it breaks the very first week, so now we have to clumsily rip towels off a bare roll placed on the wet counter. Then, the battery runs out and management doesn’t want to keep buying expensive batteries so the thing remains broken and so we’ve *retrogressed* and no one is happy. Screw these silly ‘technological improvements’!
@Chris: LOL, the hand turbines. I also HATE those motion sensor towel dispenser things. Plus they only let out like 4 inches of paper anyways. Lame.