Junk Food Nation, Happy Monday!  Before I get to today’s long Awkward Monday discussion, I wanted to talk about Retro Cereal Week!  Each day this week, myself, Rodzilla Reviews, The Impulsive Buy, Foodette Reviews, and Food Junkwill be tackling a retro cereal mostly purchased off eBay and eating them for your amusement. I was honored to be invited to collaborate with these men and women – all of whom were inspirations for my own blog – so please check it out!  I’ll say this: the cereals we’ll be eating are old – so we aren’t doing this for our health AT ALL.  Up first is The Impulsive Buy, with his review of a 2001 Kellogg’s Homer’s Cinnamon Donut Cereal 2001.  MMMMMM…decade old cereal.   Check it out, here! (The links work now!)

In the meantime, I wanted to discuss something that is always very awkward for me: the Sunday after a Saturday evening wedding.  Despite a gorgeous wedding, that Sunday morning breakfast or brunch is something I honestly have real issue with.  Let me set the scene – unless the schedule happened to be really odd, most weddings I’ve attended unfold something like this:

1) Usually, they are far away, meaning I’m making a trip out of it – I usually arrive Friday evening, check in, and head out to meet and booze with people.  Sometimes I’m part of the wedding party, sometimes I’m not, but a good time is had by all.

2) Saturday daytime is even better.  People are exploring whatever venue they are in, or the town the venue is in, and it all starts feeling a little bit like college. “Where you wanna eat lunch?” “Wanna check out that beach until we have to get ready?” “Hey, we have two hours before the wedding starts… wanna play Flip Cup out back and get wasted?”

3) The wedding is always awesome (I do love weddings – such a happy time), and then there’s cocktail hour.  Lots of congrats, lots of snacks, and lots of drinks.  It feels like a college Formal – everyone snapping photos, and laughing.

4) Dinner: also awesome.  Food is always a plus in my book.  Lots of MMMMM and AHHHHH and comments on how good the catering is, how bad the salad is, etc.

5) DANCE PARTY.  I like this, although every wedding follows the “let’s play old music early and as the old people leave start trending towards the most recent stuff.” Why?  I want the dance floor to be christened by this, every time.

6) Dance Party is usually followed by after parties in bars or peoples’ rooms, drunken hookups, or just retiring to room to take off shoes and socks and watch ESPN and eat Cheetos.  A nice end to the evening.

And then the next morning comes, where on the schedule is always: Brunch for Guests before Check-out. THE HORROR.

UGH.  The Sunday morning brunch is equivalent to a mix of (1) waking up next to one night stand whose name you can’t remember (2) running into someone twice in a grocery store and (3) the last week of college.

WAKING UP NEXT TO ONE NIGHT STAND: “Hey….you.  I’m glad we could catch each other one more time before we have to check out.  Er…where you flying back to again?  Lemme finish this danish so I can stop pretending I’ll remember and get the Hell away from you.” I just don’t have anything more to say after several hours of revelry..

RUNNING INTO SOMEONE TWICE IN GROCERY STORE: “Hey…that was fun last night, right? I mean, what happened just six hours ago?  Remember that? It was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it?” YEAH, I WAS THERE, DICK.

THE LAST WEEK OF COLLEGE: “Hey, is Jon coming to brunch?” “Awh, Jon had an early flight to catch, he’s already gone.” “Oh crap.  What about Sally?” “You kidding?  Sally left right after the wedding, she wasn’t even at the reception.” “Crap.” Everyone leaves at different times, and eventually you leave because you don’t wanna be the last guest to skedaddle – THAT would be embarrassing.

I don’t like that Sunday morning ever, but maybe that’s me.  Tell me, Junk Food Nation – is it awkward for YOU at all?  Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores!

If you think these Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores look amazing, it’s because THEY ARE. They were in a random end-of-aisle display at my local Walgreens, and I only noticed them because I saw some woman loading up her basket with these.  I grabbed a couple before she emptied the shelf.

Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores are being advertised on R.S.’s website as follows:

The classic campfire treat is back, and it’s bigger than ever! Featured on the popular “Unwrapped” series from Food Network, our Giant S’mores Bar is a thick pillow of marshmallow covered in milk chocolate and sandwiched between two crunchy graham crackers. You’ll feel just like a kid again! 

It’s back? When did it ever leave?  I do like the concept of a PILLOW of marshmallow though.

Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores are, not surprisingly, not the healthiest snack in the world.  Still – how can you argue with individually wrapped S’mores?  You can’t. Stop trying.

Yeah, that’s a Klondike-Bar-sized chocolate covered marshmallow pillow in these Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores.

The top cracker of these Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores wasn’t attached, but the bottom was.  Removing the top cracker, though, allowed me to see how nicely covered the marshmallow patty was.  MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores, you are everything I wanted and more.  Simply put, this is exactly how you hope something that LOOKS like this would taste.

The graham cracker was fresh and crisp – not stale or soggy.  Nice honey graham flavor.  The chocolate covering the marshmallow was rich and creamy, and very sweet – plus, it didn’t crumble everywhere.  The integrity of the whole structure held up nicely, which was a plus – I’d have been a little turned off if the whole thing collapsed or shattered.

Finally, the marshmallow in these Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores was REALLY good.  Classic marshmallow taste, good sponginess in the bite, and honestly, despite the thickness, it wasn’t too much marshmallow.  Light, fluffy, and just the right amount ratio-wise to the graham and chocolate.  Russell Stover has this ON LOCK.  An excellent, excellent treat.

I was curious to see how these Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores would fare with a little heat – I was hoping to achieve that nice pull-apart consistency.  I put it in for 30 seconds originally, but 10 seconds in I was already left with a pooled mess.

Russell Stover Big Bite S’mores still tasted amazing.  I did actually enjoy the pool of sugary slop that resulted – s’more, to me, always taste better warm. But yes, maybe next time I’ll just do five seconds.

Hmmmm….maybe I should change my logo from cheesy fingers to marshmallow fingers.  What do you think, Junk Food Nation?

PURCHASED AT: Walgreens

COST: $0.99

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy