Let’s get right into it, Junk Food Nation.  And keep re-tweeting for the Brownie Brittle contest!  Five days left, and we’re already close to 100 entries (and some of you have entered multiple times – LIKE IT.)

Standard junk food shelf in Ireland

Junk Food Nation, when I finally found myself in an Irish grocery store, the above is what some of the junk food shelves looked like.  So colorful, no?  It was like I was visiting an alternate reality – the shelves were stocked high with snacks I’d never heard of and wasn’t sure I’d enjoy.  What am I, Harry Potter, here? Is this Honeydukes??  No I don’t want any frog candy.  Get away from me.

Interesting gummies

I loved that they made gummy snacks that tasted like alcohol over in Ireland.  And why not?  We have gummies that taste like root beer here, I’m sure they think that’s just as weird.  Doctor Sis got a bag of these, and the Merlot gummies were especially good.

WORST NAME EVER

Whoever the marketing genius on this is, FIRE HIM.  I can think of no worse name for a candy than Glucose Barley.  Ok, maybe something like Mucus Poopsicle is worse, but still.  Do you have NO imagination?  Call then Sunspots or something.  Or Smiley Sweets.  But if your description of candy is already Energy Boosting Boiled Sweets, and you STILL name your candy GLUCOSE BARLEY….well, you just don’t want people to eat these, do you?

Vending machines!

If you look closely, you can see my iPhone ghost in the reflection of the glass.  This Yorkie Bar was sold in the lobby of one of the hotels I was in.  I snapped a pic because I enjoy candy bars named after dogs.

WHERE’S EDMUND

All I know about Turkish Delight is this is the crap Edmund ate in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe that made him insane and devoted to the Snow Queen.  The movies made it look like Edmund was eating some sort of blood sweet.  To this day, Turkish Delight horrifies me.  Plus, I’ve heard it ain’t all that. *snap*

Ewwww

Cadbury getting in on the Turkish Delight, huh?  Mallows made with Turkish…. I dunno, unless someone can sell me on how great Turkish Delight is, these look awful.

SIZE MATTERS…if you’re a fat ass

Yeah, cookie size matters if you’re crazy.  Any muncher like me knows that all that a big cookie means = harder to get into mouth.  Give me a sleeve of 25 mouth-size Oreos over one huge cookie any day.  I need that sugar in me AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

What does that even mean?

What does “You’re Got to Grin to Get It In” even MEAN?  That’s either horribly dirty, or literal – as in, when you grin, the sides of your mouth pull back so you can fit the whole cookie into your mouth.  If the phrase is literal then….well, that’s actually quite amusing.  Golf clap, Wagon Wheels.  Golf clap.

Actually looked tasty, but…

Sponge puddings actually are pretty good, if you’re like me and you like a nice bread pudding, flan, those sort of things.  And chocolate sponge pudding sounds really tasty too.  But Goblin Chocolate Sponge?  I feel like that was not the best company name to go with.  Maybe Goblin is a decent brand…but that’d gonna taint anything they make, for me.  Like this Goblin Hot Pot…nooooooo.

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy