Junk Food Nation, I’ll just say what all of you were thinking last night during the Olympic Closing Ceremonies:

1) I’m not sure what I found more perplexing: seeing Fatboy Slim perform with that crazy translucent Octopus or finding out Fatboy Slim was still around.

2) “Hey, ‘Wonderwall!’ I love this song…wait…why does it sound so weird? Wait…that’s NOT Oasis performing this song, but Liam Gallagher and a bunch of backup scrubs?? BOOOOOOOOO!”

3) Just when I thought the ceremonies would avoid the Hunger Games theme, there goes the burning Mockingjay above the Stadium!  DOWN WITH DISTRICT ONE! AIM THAT HUMAN CANNONBALL AT PRESIDENT SNOW!

4) So…the Spice Girls are a thing again, huh? This is happening? Ok…just making sure.  Wanted to make sure we all thought this was a good idea.  Wait, we do?  No we..wait, yes? We’re agreeing to this?  Really? REALLY? Er….ok.

5) Alright, London, enough joshing…ya done good with the olympics.  Good work.  With the Olympic flame, extinguished, it is a poignant ending.  Bittersweet I’m sure for all those involved.  Now what..go back to work? I mean, what are half of these athletes doing the very next week…going back to their jobs at Charles Schwab?  Me – I’d head straight to Vegas.  Let’s keep this bender going.  All my medals on Red 23.

Today’s review is another stroll through my local Walmart/grocery to find all the things which looked interesting…but that I’d never buy.

Smokin’ BBQ Goldfish

These flavor blasted Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers are good, but how is Smokin’ BBQ flavor a NEW flavor? I mean, BBQ flavor has been around…since like, John Adams was president, right?  Has it really taken THIS LONG before Goldfish crackers felt like they could add BBQ to the flavor line?  This does not sound exciting AT ALL.

Just when I thought Rice Krispies Treats didn’t have enough sugar…

Making Rice Krispies treats out of Fruity Pebbles and then adding piped frosting across the top HAS to be the brainchild of someone who thought “Just how much sugar CAN I pump into a cereal bar?” I don’t even WANT to know what my rainbow dookie looks like after eating one of these.  Talk about painting with all the Colors of the Wind…yikes.

UGH

Pepperidge Farm trying to capitalize on Olympic fever I get, but what I don’t get is the execution.  They were trying to make red white and blue Goldfish crackers, only to make them….purple, yellow, and dark puke green/blue??? Horrible.  And it’s just food coloring anyways – these are just cheddar Goldfish.  You slapped an Uncle Sam hat on the fish and are calling these new???  Or even worse, you’re calling them Liberty Goldfish??

They’re limited alright

Limited Edition Frosted Red, White and Berry Pop-Tarts.  You see what they did there? They changed the word “Blue” into “Berry!” How wacky can you get?? Not very.  Another product trying to skim off the Olympic hype, while not really providing anything new.  ZZZzzzzzz

Mistake?

Apparently, each little individual “Skittles Blenders” blends two flavors together.  You know what you get when you take one sugary flavor and mix it with another?  Muddled sugar flavor.  Blenders sound like another mistake happened at the factory and they needed to figure out a way to market it.  Not in my stomach, Skittles!

I like crunchy, but…

I have mixed feelings about these NUT-rition Peanut Butters by Planters. As you can see it, it;s basically crunchy peanut butter, one is mixed with dried banana and granola, the other with dried berries.  Truth be told, these sound like they might actually be good, but I’m not curious enough to find out.  Will someone review these for me?  I’ll pay double what I pay my other guest bloggers…(rhymes with hero).

GIMME!

OK, I lied.  Not EVERYTHING was something I didn’t want to try.  This photo was sent to me by my friend Georgianna, and it is DEFINITELY something I’ve been looking for in stores and just cannot locate!  Dr. Pepper BBQ Sauce??? You kidding me?  After having the Dr. Pepper Ice Cream Topping, I’m dying to try this.  And by the way, which one is proper: Barbeque, Barbecue, or BBQ?  Hmmmm.

What have YOU seen in stores that you found funny lately? Tell me in the comments!

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Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy