Junk Food Nation, the Summer Fancy Food Show is over, and it’s back to normal every day reviews.  Aren’t you glad? I know I am – mostly because here in DC, a heatwave has struck!  It’s supposed to be 100 degrees today. What would it have been like to carry 15 lbs of food out of the show in 100 degree heat? I don’t wanna think about it. Two words: stinky cheese.  Ick.

Look at the highs for today….er…what lion?

Yeah that’s an actual screenshot from a local news station. Not only is it supposed to reach 102 degrees, but there’s a lion loose! But only sort of.

Now, I know that in many other parts of the country, probably Kansas and Arizona, it’s a hundred degrees already.  Well, you know what?  Stuff it – I don’t live in Kansas and Arizona, because it’s too damn hot, and that sort of weather hitting the nation’s capital is stressing me out.  I have to wear a suit most of the time!  Real fun wearing a wool suit in blazing sun. Thankfully, my office has a huge fan and constant AC – I can sit in my igloo and chip off the frozen sweat.

Today’s junk food is a preview of a trio of chocolates not sold in stores yet by Vosges: Their brand new Carrot Orange Bar, Red Fire Caramel Bar, and Smoked Banana Caramel Bar!

Endless receptacles of chocolate

The Vosges table at the Fancy Food show was LITTERED with chocolate – old products, new products, sister brands, etc.  And they had this (above) – just an open ended CART of jars FULL of every single type of chocolate imaginable – everything Vosges had in their line of products. Chocolate heaven on Earth.

The very kind Vosges rep pulled me over to a side table to show me the Vosges Carrot Orange Bar, Smoked Banana Caramel Bar, Red Fire Caramel Bar – three flavors not in stores yet.  And while she unable to give me full size samples, she did send me away with a baggy of small pieces of each.  Hey, good enough for me!

Fancy trays of quality chocolate

Despite the box shapes, some of these new treats are going to marketed as cube-like caramels, and some will be in bar form.

Sidenote: Fancy display above, no?  This is how chocolate must be served in rich people’s homes – on ornamented trays with lots of surrounding silk. Not like at my house – on a paper towel or smeared on my face.

Vosges Carrot Orange Bar: The Money Shot

Let’s start with the Vosges Carrot Orange Bar. When I first saw this, I thought, “oh no…I HATE carrots!” And I do, despite the fact that I am willing to eat those little baby carrots that come in a bag.  Dipped in ranch dressing.  Still, carrot and orange sounded like a very cool combo – you see it a lot these days (e.g. V8 splash).

Thin pieces of chocolate

Visually, the Vosges Carrot Orange bar looked relatively simple… thin pieces of dark chocolate, embedded with dried orange pieces that you could see in the cross section.  Smelled like rich chocolate.  No surprises yet.

Dried carrots and oranges

The taste of this Vosges Carrot Orange Bar was pretty good.  Though the packaging advertises 55% dark chocolate, this tasted a lot like milk chocolate to me.  The taste of the oranges and carrots in this bar were very subtle – they emerged as crunchy bits within the body of the chocolate.  When my teeth would hit and chew some of these, there was a sweet brightness that would come through; I couldn’t distinguish if it was carrot or orange however.  Hard to tell – I didn’t walk away with WOW orange or WOW carrot in my mind.  Still a very tasty bar of chocolate, generally.

Vosges Red Fire Caramel Bar: The Money Shot

Up next, the Vosges Red Fire Caramel Bar. Mixing chocolate and chipotle and ancho chiles was a big theme at the show this year. This caramel bar comprised of caramel, chipotle peppers, ancho chiles, cinnamon, and dark chocolate.  Sounds legit.

Dark cubes of chocolate

Dark in color than the Carrot Orange bar, the bitter smell coming off of these cubes of chocolate definitely gave off more of the “dark” chocolate impression.

Caramel-y cinnamon-y lushness

Biting into these Vosges Red Fire Caramel Bar…er…Cubes, I was REALLY impressed.  Now THIS really stood out to me.

The chocolate was dark and bitter and sort of sweet – very rich.  The filling was immediately tangy and very cinnamon-y.  Not spicy, but the cinnamon heat and the chile heat mixed perfectly to create a sweet/savory combo unlike any other, especially since it did indeed maintain a caramel flavor.  The heavy cinnamon made this cube taste sort of like Halloween, but the peppery flavor kept it from going that far.

The savory chiptole flavor and the cinnamon taste created a very good contrast with the chocolate. The savory sweet combo was really quite tasty as the chocolate and filling mixed together well on the tongue. The very dark chocolate taste was made sweeter because of the savory filling. Great mix. Great combo.  Standout.

Vosges Smoked Banana Caramel Bar: The Money Shot

Finally, the Vosges Smoked Banana Caramel Bar. Now, I LOVE banana, and a lot of chocolate companies were going the banana route this year as well.  But smoked banana??? GIMME!

Where’s the banana?

I was curious about these Smoked Banana Caramel cubes.  Banana is always a fine line when it comes to candy flavor – you either go the completely artificial route, or the overly ripe route, or the barely-taste-it route.  No matter what, companies are either really heavy handed with the banana, or not strong enough. No in-between.

Banana lusciousness

The Vosges Smoked Banana Caramel Bar/cubes were REALLY interesting.  I liked it, but I’m not sure everyone will.  Basically, as I bit into it, my mouth EXPLODED with banana flavor – very sweet; they definitely went with the ripe-banana choice.  That alone may turn off some who don’t love banana flavor (though, if you don’t, you wouldn’t be buying this anyways).

The insides were quite runny with this one.  Very little caramel taste in my mind, much more banana flavor.  With the dark chocolate, I thought this tasted good – but it didn’t complement each other as well as the Red Fire version.  I think much of that was due to the not-enough-caramel sense….more caramel would’ve tied the entire thing together. The insides were SO sweet, the dark chocolate tasted even more dark…that might also turn some people off.  Still, to me, who loves banana, this tasted like bananas and chocolate – a winning combo in my book.  A little more caramel, and this would’ve been the days winner.

I rank ’em Red Fire, Smoky Banana, Carrot Orange.  I’m sure you can find these in stores soon!  And when you do, tell ’em the Junk Food Guy sent ya.  Stay cool in this heat, boys and girls!

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy