Yesterday I watched the Women’s World Cup refs try to give the game to Brazil over the US a number of different ways, throwing out ridiculous yellow cards and penalties all over the place.  The US staged a comeback that was unbelievable, and in the end, the US prevailed.  The game had everything – an own goal, a BS penalty kick re-do, an improbable skim-the-bar goal, a last second equalizer, and an amazing fingertip save by best goalie in the world, Hope Solo, to save the US in PKs.  I listened to the final plays to the game over the phone in my car, and pounded the roof shouting USA! USA! USA! when it was all over.

But one can’t help but wonder – what would’ve happened if they had lost?  More on this after the jump.

Today’s another car in the new product train.  The Keebler Elves have done it again, folks, with these Mint Creme Middles Chocolate Graham Cookies.  As SOON as I saw these in the store, I thought, “Yes, those are going in my belly.”

The Money Shot

Just the package alone is inspiring, though I guess you have to like mint to begin with (which I do).  Those cookies look amazing – green minty something in the center of a chocolate cookie striped with fudge? HOW COULD THESE BE BAD?  Theory: they can’t be.

100% tasty

I mean, look at this little guy!  He’s so – happy!  And a 100% cocoa isn’t bad either.

Fudge Bucket = Good

Keebler has a way with words.  I hadn’t even opened the package yet and I was STOKED.  Uncommonly made so that the cookies are uncommonly good.  Ever since the Keebler Elves campaign started in 1968, I’ve loved the idea of little elves hand-crafting these cookies.  Ok, that’s creepy.  But I loved the cartoon commercials when I was a kid – what can I say?

Like two alien eyes

As I opened the package, I could see two distinct rows of cookie tunneling backwards, staring me down, and got even more excited.  Then I slowly pulled the tray out and…

Two rows of amazingness

…GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY.  These cookies look amazing!  And, bonus – YOU GET A TON OF THEM! Nothing is worse than sliding out a cookie tray to find three rows of four cookies.  Nope, in this package you get a whopping THIRTY (30) cookies!  If you’re trying to kill me with happiness, you’re off to a good start, Keebler.

Striped with chocolate on top...

...and covered with fudge on the bottom

Ok, so the cookies themselves, in person, don’t look QUITE as good as they do on the package, but at least they are representative.  A crunchy chocolate graham cookie, a pool of minty creme in the center, striped with fudge on top and covered with fudge on the bottom.  Each cookie is bigger than a 50-cent piece, fitting perfectly in your mouth.

Mint frosted happiness!

Chocolate crunchy wonderfulness

One bite of the cookie and I was HOOKED.  These tasted VERY MUCH like Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, which we all know are delicious.  But almost…better if that’s even possible.  The cookie is perfectly crunchy, but the graham ensures that it maintains a very light crunch, not too hard.  The fudge has that amazing chocolate flavor you’re familiar with.  And the creme is the kicker – like oreo creme filling, it has a very soft texture and melts right into the cookie as you chew.  It is NOT a hard disk of frosting on top at all, and the mint is not overpowering.

I ate four before I knew it, and had to run away screaming from the room lest I continued to binge on the entire package. Keebler, you’re uncommonly good at making me a fat ass.  Nice work.

—

The thing about yesterday’s US vs. Brazil Women’s World Cup quarterfinal match, as a friend and I discussed, was that the US played well.  They really did – Brazil is a very talented team and the US kept up, playing stifling defense and taking decent shots.  Sure some corners went long and some passes seemed off target, but this is one of the most talented US squads we’ve ever had.

And if they had lost, that would’ve been overshadowed.  It would’ve been the earliest exit for the US in a World Cup.  It might’ve marked the dismal end to many veteran female soccer players’ careers.  The US Women’s Soccer team is ranked #1 in the world, and it BARELY registers on people’s radar; had they lost, women’s soccer in the US might’ve regressed.

An interesting piece on ESPN suggested that the institution of Title IX in 1972 is what led to the development of the 1999 Women’s US Soccer team, as those were the first females who were able to practice against true competition in college.  As I watched the US team yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel pride in the development of our social awareness that led to such talent…that, as a country, our ability to see/want/demand equality resulted in a tangible achievement.

Kudos, USA.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy