Junk Food Nation, I had a strange morning which is why my blog post is a little late this morning (my apologies).  One weird thing that happened to me occurred while I was on the subway. The subway car was a little packed so I was standing amongst a tight group of people, arm grabbing the only available bar so as to prevent toppling when the subway starts and stops. A woman walked up and said “Excuse me.” So, to be a gentleman, I let go of the bar, dropped my arm that was blocking her path, in order to let her through.  She proceeds to take a step, squeezing into the small gap in between me and the pole…and then she stopped, turned, and grabbed onto the bar!  She made me get out of my spot, and then TOOK my spot! This left me standing in a sea of people with no readily available bars to hold onto, and I ended up subway surfing the rest of the way into the office.

But WHO does that? “Excuse me…I’m just going to stand here.” Like, have you ever had to walk through a line of people who are standing waiting for something – movie tickets, concert, etc.?  Would you EVER just say, “Excuse me” and when they separate to give you a gap to walk through, just STAND in that gap?  No, you wouldn’t.  I wanted to shove this lady. Hard.

And while I’m griping, here’s a few other things that tilted me this morning:

1. Hey lady wearing the long black wool trenchcoat COVERED in white cat hairs: that’s disgusting. You look like a tumbleweed. Have you ever heard of a lint brush or roller thingy?  Buy one, please, because you have a cloud of white particles floating around you. Ew.

2. Hey Sniffy McSniffalot. Yeah, that’s you dude, with the red nose, and the ever so trembling drip of mucus peaking out of your nose: USE A TISSUE.  I don’t need to hear you sniffing every two seconds, and you running your hand across under your nose is doing NOTHING but making the finger of your glove glistening. Which is making me sick.

3. Woman wearing perfectly good work suit and trench, sprawled out across an entire bench, full asleep: Hey, we’re all tired, but this isn’t your bedroom. Everyone sleeps on the subway the same way: Eyes closed, head immobilized, like you’re meditating. You have limbs askew like you’re in a hammock. Get it together.

Anyways, onto today’s junk food: Limited Edition Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers!

The Money Shot

Limited Edition Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers are pretty straightforward – it’s Ritz dipped in fudge.  Or, as the box would have you believe, it’s gradually poured like you’re decorating a hot fudge sundae.

Technicolor retro

Limited Edition Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers have a retro feel to the box, which makes no sense, because there is nothing about this snack which is retro. The box shows the brown ink bleeding down to form the drizzled-on fudge coating the salty Ritz cracker.  Mmmmmm leaked on.

But...I saw these last year

Limited Edition? For some reason, I feel like I ate these last year.  As I stated in this interview, limited edition snacks are usually a way for companies to test the market and see what sticks and is successful – maybe these tested well last year?  Or maybe they’re trying to trick us, generally…you’ve been known to be sneaky, Nabisco.

Make a pie? BRILLIANT!

This recipe is essentially to crumble these fudge crackers in the bottom of a pan, and top with pudding.  Refrigerate.  Eat.

Now THAT’S my kind of recipe!

Like Thin Mints...but RITZified!

Fudgey disc

These look a lot like most fudge covered cookies, don’t they? But TA-DA!  They’re crackers!  ….I’ll hold for applause.  Holding.  Holding…..

Crispy layers

I popped one of these Limited Edition Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers into my mouth and chewed…not bad.  Not great, but not bad.  Here’s my take:

The fudge covering these crackers is standard – nothing special.  Sweet, chocolatey, good.  Sample hydrogenated fudge you get on Thin Mints and other cookies.  The cracker was crispy and flaky…but didn’t really taste like anything.  Ritz crackers are typically buttery and salty – but the chocolate kind of masked it.  I didn’t get any of the salty sweet taste you typically get with chocolate covered pretzels, and I didn’t get  any distinct flavor from the cracker dough itself.  I got a LITTLE bit of a buttery taste, but chocolate and butter isn’t really a taste combo made in heaven.  These chocolate covered crackers fell flat for me. Would I eat them? Sure. But would I choose these over a standard chocolate covered cookie? No.

Sorry, Nabisco.  I give ’em a C.

Thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy