Junk Food Nation, not to show my age, but I have reached the point when I feel like a miser in every day life. I’ll drop big buckets of cash on plane tickets, but having to pay $1 for Gatorade as opposed to $0.88 cents drives me nuts.  I don’t know what happened to me.  It’s like I became my parents overnight.

When I was younger, I used to rack up parking tickets like it was my job.  $25 here, $45 there – it was water under the bridge.  My parents used to get furious at me, and I never understood why.  “I can afford it,” I’d tell them.  In my mind, it was the cost of operating business when you drove a car.  I never got speeding tickets, so I figured the parking tickets were a tiny price for being able to get out and get into my car where and when I wanted to.

But now, I get it. Traffic tickets feel like I’m just throwing money away. Because now that I actually earn a living, I can SEE what these small chunks of change are. That $25 is a couple large pizzas and wings.  That $45 could’ve been a couple shirts for work. I once got a red light ticket – for $150, mind you – and I couldn’t contain my self-loathing. I kept thinking, “That was a new coat. That was two tickets to [insert sporting event]. That was a grocery run.  GAAAAH!” Yes, this is how my warped mind works now.

But the ultimate in feeling like I just threw money away / self-loathing is when you find out you have expired LivingSocials / Groupons.  THAT REALLY DRIVES ME NUTSO. It’s like, I PAID for this stupid coupon to get a monetarily greater benefit, and now I’ve lost BOTH!  I, like many people, bought that Whole Foods LivingSocial coupon. It was $10 for $20 of groceries.  GROCERIES.  Should’ve been so easy to use!

Problem: I NEVER GO TO WHOLE FOODS.  There’s not one really near me, and whenever I was in the neighborhood, I’d just put it off.  DAMNIT. Expired Groupons or the like are WORSE than traffic tickets – I didn’t even get an illegal benefit out of it, like unauthorized parking or speeding. Essentially, I just GAVE my money to LivingSocial, and that was that. Nothing in return. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Sigh. Today’s junk food: Popcorn, Indiana Drizzled Black & White Kettle Corn!

Popcorn, Indiana Drizzled Black & White Kettle Corn: The Money Shot

Popcorn, Indiana popcorn was found at my local Safeway supermarket, and I first saw the brand on a season of the Apprentice.  Also known as Dale & Thomas Popcorn, this company was founded in Englewood, New Jersey, and NOT in Popcorn, Indiana – which is a REAL TOWN.  Wow.

On the Apprentice, the two teams were tasked with coming up with a viral video for Popcorn, Indiana popcorn. This is what they came up with.  Yeah, I don’t get it either. Advertising is not my bag, though so…

The greatest town in the world

Popcorn, Indiana makes popcorn in a variety of amazing flavors: Sweet & Tangy BBQ Kettle Corn, Bacon Ranch Popcorn, and Original Movie Theater Popcorn, just to name a few.  Seriously, all those flavors sound just awesome. I’d like to stuff them all in my gullet.

Isn’t Popcorn, Indiana a great name for a town, by the way? I imagine something straight out of the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Popcorn raining from the sky…makes me smile. In fact, all towns with food names seems awesome to me.  Burnt Corn, Alabama – why not? Hot Coffee, Mississippi – I wanna live there!  You think people wouldn’t want to settle in a town called Tabasco, Texas?? (That last one was fake, FYI 😉 )

Elegance

Popcorn, Indiana has a lot of different slogans on their website: “Munch Better,” “Share Some,” “Reach for the Red.” This company is clearly on the uptick, as it’s been featured all over the media recently.

Drizzled Black and White Kettle Corn is quite simply kettle corn that has been coated in both dark and white chocolate. Um, yes please.

Decadence defined

You know, usually I kill overly lengthy descriptions on this blog, but claiming that you’re about to eat “hand-crafted magic” is pretty boss.  “Be prepared to have your mind completely blown”? Now THAT’s a description and some confidence in a snack!

Now I have to look up what GMO corn is

GMO Corn is apparently Genetically Modified Organism Corn.  Yeah, I’m glad they don’t use that. I don’t need any sea monkeys growing in my stomach, thanks.

Kosher corn?

Hmmm. I thought corn was NOT kosher for Passover, because it expands when cooked.  Or something like that. Jewish friends, help me out here – is popcorn kosher?

Coated with chocolate

OMG, THIS is what the popcorn looks like????? It’s just big ass chunks of popcorn covered in chocolate! HOW COULD THIS *NOT* BE GOOD?  From afar you can see the dark and white chocolate striping, all over. And I like that it’s not just dipped, but rather, drizzled – leaving some open spaces to taste the kettle corn-ness of the snack.

Dark & White

Ripply waves of chocolate

Popped a mouthful, and WOW.  Wow.  Wow.  This is really really good. When you first open the bag, you get the strong smell of fresh popcorn, absent any sugary smell, which was really surprising but really pleasant.  Then the first bite, and it’s a flavor explosion.  The crunch of the popcorn was still there – these were not wilted popcorn pieces.

Then the flavor – because the popcorn is not completely dipped, you still get a great kettle corn taste – slightly sweet, slightly salty, and BIG corn flavor.  And then parts of your mouth are peppered with the decadent chocolate – some bitter dark on some teeth and tongue, and super sweet white chocolate on other parts of your teeth and tongue.  Great finish to the popcorn too – the rich chocolate taste mixed with a little bit of corn flavor.  Truly, sweet popcorn done right.

Popcorn, Indiana, if you’re listening, send me more!  I will have your babies, this popcorn is so good.

Any thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy