Junk Food Nation, I woke up this morning to see the worst acting I’d seen in a while. No I’m not talking about the Big Bang Theory – I’m referring to Tom Jackson and Mark Schlereth doing the Skore-It Auction Website commercials on ESPN. Just click on that link and tell me what you think. When Tom Jackson tries the fake box-out move at about the 0:36 mark – cringe worthy. You can almost tell that they have pieces of script taped to the laptop screens.  Of course, they are the ones who get the last laugh, with $$$$ from Skore-It in their pockets.

Today’s junk food was mentioned to me by my friend Shelley: Roast Beef Bubblegum!

The Money (Perpetualkid.com) Shot

Sold on Perpetualkid.com, these foul-looking gum balls are described as “roast beef flavored gum balls,” that are “so delicious that each gumball deserves to be served on a platter and carved with a knife and fork!” GROSS.

Anyone else reminded of Violet Beauregard chews that three-course meal gum?  And has anyone actually WANTED to have that gum in real life???? NO. They haven’t.

Mmmmm...medium rare and I can blow bubbles

Reviews online across the web have stated that these gum balls taste disturbingly like beef. When is the last time I’ve been at my desk thinking, “You know, I could go for a nice roast beef sandwich…but I don’t want to actually SWALLOW anything SOLID.  Instead, I wish there was something that I could chew that would make my SPIT taste like BEEF!” I’m gagging just thinking about it – I might as well just suck on some bouillon cubes! Ok, now I’m gagging thinking about that….<shudder>

I’ll return tomorrow with a real review and Awkward Mondays.  Onto football talk!

Let’s get to the Week 15 picks.  Last Week I went an incredible 13-3, giving me a four week total of 43-19. Is it too early to say I’m the man?  I should go to Vegas with these picks.  Onto Week 15:

ATL vs JAX: FALCONS.  Yeah, I know this game was already played, but there’s no way I was picking against Matty Ice at home vs. a team lead by Blaine Gabbert.  C’mon.

DAL vs TB: DALLAS. Another already played game, but there was no way I was picking TB – did you know  the Bucs have lost eight straight? Last week, the team’s leading rusher was their QB with less than 40 yards. The Bucs scored eight points in garbage time – like less than 3 minutes left in the game, down 31-7 garbage time.  Atrocious.

CAR @ HOU: This is a very tough call. Do I think rookie sensation can beat a team tied for the best AFC record, but whose quarterback is ALSO a rookie (TJ Yates?)  Well, I doubted Yates last week and all he did was win. I’m prepared to call Yates the new Jeff Garcia. HOUSTON wins here, gutting out a performance in honor of Wade Phillips who is in the hospital after kidney/gall bladder surgery.  Ouch.

WAS @ NYG: You know…I root for the Redskins (sort of), but I just see the Giants, after beating Dallas last week, pushing for their own destiny and taking this one.  GIANTS.

MIA @ BUFF: BUffallll……c’mon just win a friggin’ game!  BUFFALO.  Mark it.

SEA @ CHI: I’ll say it again – I really really don’t like Marshawn Lynch, and I hate the stupid Beast Mode. The rag tag Bears – well, eff it.  After last week’s meltdown by Marion Barber against the Broncos, I say they regroup and take Seattle down.  ESPN predicts 13-6 Seattle.  I say nay – BEARS.

NO @ MINN: Adrian Peterson – is he in or out? And does it rally matter when you’re facing the Saints? NEW ORLEANS wins.

CIN @ STL: The Rams are without Sam Bradford, without AJ Feeley, and are rolling with 3rd stringer Kellen Clemons today against Cincy. BENGALS take this one.

TENN @ INDY: Matt Hasselback is just bad enough to still beat the Colts. Yeah, I know that sentence doesn’t quite make sense…but if you know football, you know I’m right. TITANS win.

GB @ KC: Superstar Aaron Rodgers trying to go another week undefeated facing a horrible team that also just fired their coach? Why are they even playing this game? PACKERS.

DET @ OAK: No McFadden.  No good WRs. No chance of Oakland winning.  DETROIT.

NE @ DENV: Lot’s of talking points on the radio about this game. (1) If the Broncos lose, Tebow naysayers will finally be able to say “SEE? He can’t win in the NFL.” To this I agree, talking heads will hammer this, and I think it’s ridiculous. One game, people.  (2) Tebow’s passing yards in the past five weeks: 69-104-143-202-236. Against his horrible NE passing D, I could see him approaching 300 this week. (3) The key to the game will be whether Denver’s defense can shut down the Patriots passing, and then (4) if so, can Tebow capitalize and put them ahead? I hope Denver wins, but I think the PATS take it.

NYJ @ PHI: EAGLES take this – after weeks of being beaten down mercilessly, the Iggles got back Vick and exploded to beat Miami. I think the Jets are the Iggles next victim.

CLE @ ARZ: ARIZONA wins this because they seem to play better WITHOUT Kevin Kolb.  Plus, Seneca wallace starting for the Browns? ARe you kidding me? Colt McCoy still thinks he’s Batman from the hit he got last week.

BAL @ SD: If Baltimore really wants to take advantage of Pitt’s injuries and the Patriots horrible defense, and REALLY establish themselves as the team to beat in the AFC, this is the type of game they MUST win.  SD, a hard team when hot, but beatable – I taken the RAVENS here.

PITT @ SF: Two 10-3 teams, the NINERS have the advantage in this game – playing at home and Ben Roth. is questionable.  I know last week’s Steelers performance was gutsy on Ben’s part, but I don’t see the heroics panning out this time.  NINERS.

Have a football Sunday, everyone!

Any thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy