JFG Nation, I saw Fast and Furious 8 / Fate of the Furious / F8 of the Furious / More Cars, Too L8 yesterday, and while I really REALLY liked it, I didn’t LOVE it. In terms of my FnF franchise movie rankings, my top 3 are Fast Five, Furious 7, and the very first one. This one ranks below those three for me, and I say that DESPITE the fact that the action sequences in this movie are some of the best I’ve ever seen.

But SOME of the plot choices in this one….ehhhhh, didn’t feel right to me. My complaints (SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t warn you – school to the next dotted section to avoid the giveaways.)

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Ok, where to begin:

1. The lack of Paul Walker was sad and noticeable. The FnF franchise always had two alphas – while the Rock as Hobbs is a great character, him calling Dom “brother” just isn’t the same. Despite these capers becoming full blown Jason Bourne-like action thrillers, the Dom-Brian dynamic still always had that, “OK, here we go bro” carefree-ness to it. We’ll never recapture that.
2. I love Tyrese’s quippy lines throughout the movies, but they really played up his clown persona in this one, to a fault. Roman Pierce isn’t King Lear, but his one liners always used to fall just at the right moment, “Ha Ha, real funny Fonzie!…..*ass” Here, Pierce’s character seems to be waving his hands gesturing, “Hey, over here! I have something funny to say!”
3. To that end, ALL of the characters with the exception of Letty take the whole Dom going rogue thing very nonchalantly. He’s good! He’s bad! He’s good again! All it takes is for one of them to say, “THERE’S the Dom we know” and all is forgiven. What!? And it’s still amazing to me that no one early one thinks that Dom is being blackmailed. That’d be my FIRST instinct, no? “Uh, someone call Mia and Brian and make sure they aren’t being held hostage somewhere.”
4. The new character, the young agent played by Scott Eastbrook. Awful. This guy is supposed to be a new member of this team??? I cringed at the line, “The third rule is, there are no rules.” JEEZ LOUISE. Who wrote this?? Plus, since when did he become a street racer capable of matching up with the rest of the crew?
5. Cipher, Charlize Theron’s character, is sometimes amazing (controlling all the hacked cars) and sometimes a letdown (too much like a cartoon villain – “There’s intruders in the cargo hold, GET THEM! I’LL GET YOU, CAPTAIN PLANET!”) Inconsistent.
6. Plot holes: Where did Dom find a tracker small enough to hide? Where’d he get that wristband Apple Watch thing? How did he have a clip of rubber bullets or blanks? How did he the guy from Cuba up there with no one noticing? If Cipher is the controlling of everything electronic, how did she not follow Dom electronically whenever he was out of her sight? Yeah, they didn’t have God’s Eye yet, but they still had pings and ish. Did no one else see the kill switch in his car before? How is everyone so clueless?

*shaking hands* Ah, it’s good to get that out of my system. Truth be told, I really liked a LOT in the movie. All FnF movies require a little bit of BS swallowing, and I’m usually contend to go along with the ride. The swinging wrecking ball. The jail fight. The hack-y gun fight with the baby. I loved all of that, cheese and all! But the above listed items did take some of the magic out of what should be visual junk food. I know I said I didn’t need the movie to be the Shawshank Redemption, but I also didn’t want the franchise to become as eye rolling as the Transformer franchise. The FnF is a good formula, like an Oreo cookie. You want subsequent iterations to be as good, like the Cinnamon Roll Oreos. You don’t want it to be convinced that it can do whatever we want, and we’ll just stomach it, like the Swedish Fish Oreos.

So, with that, rant over. Agree, disagree? Sound off in the comments below.

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Ok, spoilers are over. You’re safe now. Onto the junk food review!

Today’s junk food: Ketchup Pringles!!

I feel like Ketchup chips are a thing in Canada. Or the UK. Or Australia. Basically, anywhere but the US. Why is this? I love ketchup, I love fried potatoes, why not combine them on a chip? I dig.

DO THESE TASTE GOOD? Yes! YES!

WHY OR WHY NOT? The moment I opened the can and sniffed, it smelled exactly like french fries that I used to buy at my high school concession stand that were covered in salt and a healthy dose of cheap sticky sweet ketchup. Aroma was spot on.

The flavor was spot on too. At times wavering between the flavor of ketchup and the flavor of canned tomato soup, these tasted exactly like potato chips dipped in ketchup. The sharp initial bite of the tomato powder. The sweet ketchup-y flavor. The smack you mouth after taste of potatoes and ketchup. It was all there. I was amazed – the flavor of the Pringles, specifically, mimicked the starchiness of a french fry perhaps better than a regular potato chip. Ketchup Pringles – I loved these.

ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD KNOW? Nope – I know this flavor sounds weird, but trust me – the flavor isn’t as weird as you think. Delish.

PURCHASED AT: CVS, Darnestown Road, Rockville, MD.

WHERE FOUND IN STORE? Cardboard display near the cold drinks.

COST? $1.99.

Sincerely,

The JFG