Junk Food Nation, Happy Saturday!  I wanted to share one of my favorite tweets of the week, so far.  This comes from my friend Neil:

“So 1-0 baseball game is a masterpiece but a 1-nil soccer game is boring?”

Neil, an avid soccer fan, is of course referring to the 1-0 Cardinals win over the Phillies last night. I enjoy soccer and baseball, so I can understand his frustration.  Soccer often gets a bad wrap because of its low scoring tendencies; meanwhile idiot TBS announcers gush over the pitcher’s duel. But is this tweet a correct assessment of how Americans feel?

I think most sports fans would come to a consensus: a 7-3 NFL game is boring, a 1-0 NHL game can be boring, and a basketball game where the final score is 37-30?  Snoozer.  Honestly, there’s no real discussion needed – the majority of Americans like scoring.  Whether this comes from lack of total understanding of the game, from not having enough time to see nuances in game play, whatever the case – most Americans just wanna see some points.  I’m guessing only ultra geeky baseball fanatics (like myself) and awful TV announcers thought last night’s 1-0 shutout was great. To most of the viewing public, I’m guessing that the pitcher’s duel was just as boring as a 1-nil soccer game.

My Round 2 MLB Playoff Predictions after the jump.  Today’s junk food: Biscuiterie Jules Destrooper Rice Crisp Crunch!

Normally, most of us walk through the grocery store, and there’s always a section of these random gourmet biscuits – Digestive Cookies, Walkers Shortbreads, etc.  While definitely in the category of Junk Food, I never really feel like any of it is interesting enough to review.  But I was drawn to these Biscuiterie Jules Destrooper Rice Crisp Crunch!  To me these looked like gourmet Nestle Crunch bars – a childhood favorite of mine.  Crispy rice?  NOM.

Biscuiterie Jules Destrooper Rice Crisp Crunch comes from Belgium… already I don’t feel like I’m worthy of eating this snack.  So fancy…and foreign.  In fact, this ENTIRE BOX is like a big trick to make you think you’re eating something of delicacy and high class – and not just a buncha chocolate covered cookies. Example #1: calling these cookies “biscuits.” Don’t even get me started.

For the record, in my head I’m just flat out guessing that I know where Belgium is…I think it’s right next to Germany? (Wiki-ing………) Yep, next to Germany (Phew.)

Example #46 you can tell these are fancy and foreign: the Biscuiterie Jules Destrooper has its own seal. I feel like these were made in some castle in Western european by serfs that were branded with this seal.

Ok, Biscuiterie Jules Destrooper Rice Crisp Crunch, now you’re just trying to be absurd.  A purveyor, n. is one who furnished provisions, especially food.  Yep, I had to look that up. I’ve used Wikipedia several times already in writing this post.

A real treat for both biscuit and chocolate lovers? Were there chocolate lovers and biscuit lovers who separately couldn’t come to an agreement over a treat they could both enjoy, and then these came along, saving the day? Sorry, I’m feeling overly snarky today.

Jules Destrooper – the colonial trader, with a heart of gold, whose hobby was kicking ass, taking names, and baking cookies.  Sounds like a good movie!  Starring…Shia LeBouf.

I do appreciate that these biscuits use quality ingredients – no preservatives among them.  Althogh I do like that it says “Produced in a facility that uses Nuts. And sesame.” Like the sesame warning was an afterthought.

Open the box, and WOW!  Nice! These Rice Crisp Crunch biscuits look tasty!  Top row, milk chocolate, bottom row dark chocolate.

Each cookie was the size of a belt buckle, and looked to be loaded with crispy rice.  SMELLED amazing too – the chocolate flavor wafted up nicely as soon as the package was opened.  Time for a bite.

Wow.  Delicious.  As you can see from the cross section, there is a crispy biscuit, covered with crispy rice, and then the whole thing is dipped in chocolate. What you get is a VERY crispy bite – the cookie snaps off easily into your mouth.  As you crunch, you can taste a very rich chocolate. The crispy rice provides a nice crispy texture, adding extra pop as you chew.  The sweetness of the biscuit and flavor of the dough, mixed with the chocolate taste, result in a very satisfying cookie. Biscuit. Whatever.

I highly recommend these – I couldn’t stop eating them.  Gourmet Nestle Crunch bar, indeed.  Biscuiterie Jules Destrooper – good job.

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Let’s get to the playoff predictions!  Only two of my four predictions came true in Round 1, although I did express worry about my Yankees.  Blah.

(1) NLCS: Milwaukee vs. St. Louis

The problem with Philly was that stats aside, they tended to slump in big moments.  Sure they crushed the ball…sometimes…but were never as consistent with as the Cards. The Phils scored 21 runs vs. St. Louis’ 19 runs over the course of the series…but the Cards won. Phillies’ batting average over the series – .226, or second worst of the teams in the postseason.  Simply not enough offense despite their great pitching.

Milwaukee was another story.  Arizona, their opponent, had more HRs, and more total bases than anyone in the postseason – but still lost.  In fact, Arizona beat out Milwaukee in almost every category, pitching and batting, except one… Ks. Arizona went up there hacking, with 49 strikeouts vs just 31 for Milwaukee. In the end, Milwaukee’s patience paid off.

So in the battle of STL vs. MIL? I’m gonna say Milwaukee in seven (7) – while the Cards have experience and momentum on their side, I think Milwaukee just has superior pitching up and down, into their bullpen, and they can bat right along with St. Louis.

(2) Detroit vs. Texas

Texas, the team I heralded with amazing offense, has the lowest batting average, HR totals, and runs scored of any team in the playoffs.  They made it past Tampa Bay because they scored juuuuust enough to get by.  Texas seemed to slump a little, but it didn’t matter, because TB was REALLY quiet.  I worry about the long layoff Texas has had.  Will they be ready for the ALCS?

Detroit beat the Yankees because smaller names got hot at the right moment. The Yanks, like the Phillies, had a tendency to slump in big moments – runners left on base were absurd.  Detroit took advantage, and won despite scoring 17 runs total vs New York’s 28.  Detroit will need to score more in this round.

This is the tale of two teams whose bats need to get back into their typical form.  I predict Texas in 7 – I just see those bats going off, and I think they can get to Verlander one of these times.

So, for those of you scoring at home, I’m guessing the World Series will be Texas vs. Milwaukee.  Who saw THAT coming???

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy