JFNation, I hope you all enjoyed my Live Aqua, Cancun posts. It’s been over a week since I got back and I’m still wishing I was sipping drinks by the pool. Or rather, IN the pool. For hours. Sigh.

Like any vacation, it’s taken me a while to get caught back up. Sports? Where the heck was I? I haven’t seen a baseball game in over three weeks. American Pharoah? Yep, missed that too. The NBA Finals? Except for the fact that it’s playing out exactly as I’d predicted so far (quote: “…Both teams split home and away, head into Game 5 in GS tied, GS pulls that one out…), I really haven’t watched that much of the games except for the first halves, because the game start at like 9:37pm. I’m sorry, Steph Curry. I’ll watch you bomb treys in my dreams.

However, one thing I HAVEN’T been missing is the Women’s World Cup. “WTF” you say? Yes, that’s right. You read me right. As a big supporter of female sports, and a proud American generally, nothing gets me more fired up than World Cup action. Yes, I am one of those fans who doesn’t watch Premier League or MLS and only gets up for World Cup or Olympic Soccer play. But so what? Growing up in a town known for soccer, some of my best childhood memories were of watching both men’s and women’s World Cup games either in my living room or at PPP’s house. Watching Robert Baggio sky the bar over the net for the final PK, watching Brandi Chastain nail her PK to give the US Women’s team the title, seeing Zidane headbutt Marco Materrazzi, Tim Howard’s 15-save game vs. Belgium, Japan’s impossible blasts vs. the USWNT? Indelible moments etched into my brain. Don’t tell me I’m not a real fan.

Anyways, if you’re watching the US Women’s National Team play, you’ll see that I live-tweet that sh*t the entire time. The USWNT, while they’ve played super tentative, are still favored to win the whole joint. I’ll be there, tomorrow night, for the USWNT vs. Nigeria. Come. Join me. Hold hands with me via Twitter. Let’s root for the USA together.

Meanwhile…EPISODE 57 OF THE NOSH SHOW IS HERE!

For you new arrivals, The Nosh Show is a podcast started by Marvo from The Impulsive Buy, featuring Ryan from GrubGrade, Dubba from On Second Scoop, and, of course, me, your friendly neighborhood JFG. Today marks the release of The Nosh Show, Episode 57: Classy to Trashy.

This week, “we talk about Pizza Hut’s Hot Dog Bites Pizza, McDonald’s Signature Burger, a new cookie from Nabisco that’s not an Oreo, and Rainbow Sherbet Ice Cream Pebbles Cereal. Plus, it’s Happy Happy Mystery Package Fun Time and we have a short argument about how we eat our pizzas.”  You can listen embedded here:

You can subscribe to The Nosh Show using various services: iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, RSS, or, you can also download the episode.

Today’s junk food: New Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread!!

New Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread??? Holy hell, Jif, what are you doing to me? Don’t you know it’s cut-em-up season? Of course, this isn’t Jif’s first foray into non-peanut butter spreads – I reviewed Jif’s Hazelnut Nutella-knockoff spread and Jif’s Mocha Cappuccino Spread over two years ago. I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever seen a “cheesecake” spread, though, so that’s exciting. I mean, is this just sweet cream cheese?

New Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread is…well, sweet. And loaded with calories. Not surprising that this isn’t a good celery replacement. Looking at that picture of the cheesecake too….is THAT what chocolate cheesecake looks like? Why did I think it looked more like this.

New Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread contains lots of nuts and gluten and milk, so stay away from this, food allergic peeps. If those items don’t scare you, the fat content will. THE DELICIOUS DELICIOUS FAT CONTENT NOOOMMMMMM.

I opened up this jar of New Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread and sniffed, and ….it definitely SMELLED like cheesecake! I mean, I got the tang of a cream cheese smell that I am familiar with associating with cheesecake. There were hints of chocolate/hazelnut aroma. It certainly LOOKED cool – all smooth and shimmering with its twisted brown and white swirl.

I grabbed a spoon, dipped it in, and licked.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM this New Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread was goooood! Was that a shock? Here’s the thing – despite the spot-on smell, the actual taste wasn’t AS close as I would’ve liked, but I’m not sure that’s Jif’s fault. For me, cheesecake is not only flavor but also texture – it’s that thick cold pull of the whipped cream cheese AND eggs that kicks my brain into registering “cheesecake cheesecake cheesecake!” The texture of this spread was, well, much smoother/softer. It had the consistency of Nutella – thick enough not to run but definitely thin enough to make spread SUPER easy.

The flavor was almost there. Because it was a swirl, there were definitely two separate flavors – the brown was definitely Nutella-like in flavor, while the white? The white was more like cream cheese frosting that you’d get on top of a Red Velvet cake. It had slight cream cheese flavor but was super sweet, with more of a creamy milky flavor. Honestly, eaten together, it reminded me a lot of how old Jello Pudding Pops used to taste. The JFGal immediately compared this to Duvalin, a Mexican candy she had growing up. Which, when you read the description, seems spot-on.

Despite all these nitpicks, this spread was definitely GOOD. Tasty, super sweet, and another one of those products where I think, “Am I really expected to eat this on toast? Is that what is happening here?” I dunno. Maybe eaten on toast, it’s seem more like a cheesecake with the bread serving as the “pie crust.” I’ll give it a shot. Or even better, I’ll spread this on graham crackers for the full effect. YES. That’s what I’m going to do.

I think as the first “cheesecake spread” I’d ever eaten, this one was probably 90% successful. Kudos, Jif.

PURCHASED AT: Safeway, Chevy Chase, DC

COST: $3.99

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy