Junk Food Nation, tomorrow night is the first round of the NFL Draft, which, for many of you, is a non-event. SOME of you care out there, however – 32 million people watched the first round last year. 32 MILLION. That’s more than the Walking Dead Season 5 premiere viewership, more than Game of Thrones viewership, and more than even the highest rated World Series game EVER. That’s how big football has grown. Where more people turn out to see a hiring process than the actual championship game of OTHER sports.

But why? Why do so many tune in to watch? Putting aside that, first, people are HUGE fans of football, the draft is seen unreasonably as a window into future hope for a football franchise. Most fan debates over a team’s future begin with, “If only we had a [insert position / type of person / robot brand name], WE’D BE AWESOME.” And, in football, it is sometimes true – a QB, for example, can turn a team around completely (Andrew Luck), or can submarine them (Rob Johnson). As a result, the NFL Draft is picked over, obsessed over, looked at with such scrutiny that, for the non-fan, the whole exercise is completely ridiculous.

The NFL Draft is a televised spectacle of, essentially, daydreams and maybes. Once a player is picked by a team, the imaginations begin: “OOOOO HE COULD BE GOOD.” “Oh, imagine how he’ll do in Week 4?” “Dude, that guy’s head is huge. THAT’S A GOOD FOOTBALL HEAD.” Could you imagine this in any other realm? It’d be like watching an episode of Chopped or Top Chef where the entire show is ONLY the shopping for the ingredients. “OH SNAP HE BOUGHT SNAP PEAS. IMAGINE WHAT THOSE COULD BE MADE INTO.” “Oh, sh*t, did she just pick up Mirin? GAME CHANGER.”

Or what if this was how actual employment fields worked? Would Apple and Google fight over top draft picks coming from the Comp Sci world? “Well, you know, Jim, Apple wanted Susan from MIT, but Google got her. Looks like that Watch 2’s gonna be delayed for a couple years.” Or lawyers? “You know Bob, I think the pro-water rights lobby just got a sleeper when they drafted Mike, there. He was a bit slow in his first year Con Law class, but DO YOU SEE HIS HEAD? THAT’S A GOOD PRO WATER HEAD.”

As absurd as these situations seem, the way that the NFL Draft works DOES play out in other places in the real world already. Anyone who is familiar with the hospital matching process knows that it’s more or less a draft of graduating med students by hospitals. Some med students don’t “match,” and have to find opportunities elsewhere. We already have a televised show where they announce Oscar nominations. NOT THE WINNERS, mind you – that comes somewhere else. But a show to announce the nominations for the categories. Oh, and people watch it – just ask the 400 million Twitter peeps who angrily reacted when the Lego Movie wasn’t nominated for best cartoon. WHAT A TRAGEDY.

So yes, tomorrow night, I will be one of the millions watching the NFL Draft, even though my Bills don’t have a first round pick. Winston vs. Mariota! How far will Leonard Williams fall? WHY DID THE JETS CHOOSE *THAT* GUY? And can Roger Goodell actually hug someone on stage for more than a minute? All these things will be analyzed by ESPN and NFL Network until we puke. Next year: a show where fans watch other fans watch the NFL Draft. It’s coming. I promise.

Your thoughts, Junk Food Nation? Will you be watching the draft? Or will you be doing something productive with your life, like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: TastyKake Strawberry Mini Donuts!!

TastyKake Strawberry Mini Donuts: The Money Shot

TastyKake sent me a some of their new limited edition Spring treats, including these Strawberry Mini Donuts! I’ve reviewed TastyKake donuts before – their Red Velvet ones were so-so, but I loved their Salted Caramel donuts – so I’m going into these donuts with no pre-conceived expectations.

Still, strawberry donuts is a little weird where there’s no real icing or filling, right? So, the strawberry taste is baked into these TastyKake Strawberry Mini Donuts? I love me some Dunkin Donuts strawberry donuts, but that pink frosting is the key – these have none of that.

TastyKake Strawberry Mini Donuts contain strawberry bits, which apparently are comprised of several ingredients including Red 40.  So…..ARE these real strawberry bits? Uh…

When I opened up this bag of TastyKake Strawberry Mini Donuts and sniffed, I caught a hint of artificial strawberry smell. It wasn’t strong – it reminded me a lot of when you smell cherry-Chapstick. Or when you’re smelling a bag of Strawberry Twizzlers – just that muted fruit smell. The look of these mini donuts was pretty standard – small, silver dollar sized donuts covered in powdered sugar. They were pretty crumbly – just dumping some of these out of the bag a few donuts started to crack and split. As you’ll see below, the dough inside was weirdly pink, like it reflected on the photo on the bag.

I popped one of these TastyKake Strawberry Mini Donuts into my mouth and chewed, and ….well, hmmm. I’m torn over whether I liked these. At first, my reaction was just so-so. Standard powdered donut flavor aside, the strawberry flavor wasn’t SUPER strong – these didn’t taste like real strawberries or Starburst or anything like that. It wasn’t a vivid flavor. So I took of points for that. Instead, the flavor was, like the smell, sort of muted. You know how when you put on cherry Chapstick it’s only sort of berry flavored? Or when you eat a Strawberry Twizzler, it’s kind of strawberry flavored but mostly you’re tasting the underlying chewy stick? These were like that – hint of strawberry in a weird artificial flavored way.

I’m torn because the more donuts I ate, the more I was reminded of a different flavor – the flavor reminded me of some bites of strawberry shortcake. Ever had REAL strawberry shortcake, where you have a slightly sweet cake and spoon the strawberries and sauce over it? Usually the bites are vivid because you have some sugared strawberries and whipped cream with every bite. But every once in a while, you just get a bite of strawberry sauce-soaked cake by itself – it’s not that sweet because the cake dumbs down any strawberry sauce flavor and the overall berry taste is muted. That’s what these tasted like. So while my first reaction was that the flavor was strangely artificial, I began to taste these in a way I was familiar with.

Final take? I think if you like that cake flavor I just described, you’ll enjoy these. I ended up popping several just because I like powdered donuts regardless of the strawberry taste. But if you’re looking for that super strong strawberry flavor, you won’t find that here. For me, I’m 50/50 on them. Didn’t hate them, didn’t love them, wouldn’t kick them out of bed.

PURCHASED AT: Sent to me

COST: not sure, but retail unit price was $4.78

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy