Junk Food Nation, I’m sick.  Yaaaay….cough cough.  Ugh.

Due to being sick, I was unable to eat any junk food last night.  Migraines and nausea … yummy.  I didn’t think my stomach could handle any chili cheese jalapeno habanero fiery fiesta pepperjack chipsy-whats-its.

Not a bad time, therefore, to pay homage to Arch West, the father of Doritos, who passed last week. Since a picture of a Dorito is part of my logo, and I’ve consistently professed my love of the flavored corn tortilla chip, I HAD to mention it on this blog.  Excellent (and humorous) coverage of his death has already been reported on these sites:

LA Times: Arch West Dies, Will Be Buried With Chips

Washington Post: Arch West, 97, invented Doritos for Frito-Lay

Gawker: Inventor of Doritos to be buried with chips

NBC Dallas Fort-Worth: Doritos to be Sprinkled Over Creator’s Grave

I’m not sure if I find the fact that Doritos will be thrown into this man’s grave honorable, appropriate, morbid, or silly.  Anyways, as the news reported, Arch West was a Frito-Lay marketing executive when he pitched the idea for Doritos after seeing fried tortilla chips in San Diego. And from there, a powerhouse in junk food was born.

I wonder if, before he passed, Mr. West ever got to see these iterations of his brainchild:

Winter Crab Money Shot

Yep, not just crab, folks, but specifically WINTER crab (whatever that is), and not just winter crab, but winter crab PIZZA flavored Doritos.  “All the taste and toppings you want on a pizza straight from our oven to your door,” huh? I cannot tell you how many things are wrong in this sentence.

And if it’s Winter Crab flavor, WHAT’S WITH THE SHRIMP ON THE PIZZA?!

Teriyaki Chicken Money Shot

Teriyaki Chicken Pizza flavored Doritos still sounds off, although it sounds better than Winter Crab.  Ever since dining at California Pizza Kitchen in high school, I became used to chicken and BBQ-like sauce on pizza…but still, to transfer this taste to a Dorito?  I’m grossed out, yet intrigued.

Pizza-La? Is that like Shangri-La? Is Pizza-La some kind of hushed valley of pizza utopia somewhere? (The more I think of it…despite how snarky my comments are, I bet this is exactly the thinking behind Pizza-La.)

Well, Mr. West, your chips went global and are enjoyed by people around the world.  Thank you, and may you rest in peace.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy