Junk Food Nation, here are some things that have amused me today:

1. FINALLY, Cleveland has agreed to ship Andrew Wiggins, Anthony Bennett, and a pick to Minnesota for Kevin Love. Good Lord. Can we put this story to rest finally? The stupid “Kevin Love Watch” is all ESPN has been talking about since the beginning of last month, and I’m exhausted.

2. Hey remember Ron Artest? I mean, Metta World Peace? I mean, Chad Ocho Cinco?  Wait, no not that last one.  Anyways, the crazy basketball personality has recently agreed to a deal to play basketball in China.  But more importantly, he is rumored to be changing his name AGAIN – this time, to “Panda Friend.” Seriously. The former Indiana Pacer who is perhaps most famous for leaping into the stands in Detroit and punching a fan is moving to China to become a Panda Friend.  You can’t make this up.

3. Speaking of Asian countries, let’s flip to Japan, where Deadspin recently covered the craziest thing I’ve ever seen – a sport called Bo-Taoshi, which is basically a King-of-the-Hill style game. But with more…uh…melee (the “game” starts at the 2:00 min mark):

I can’t stop watching this video. The point, in case anyone cares (I didn’t) is apparently to get the opponents’ pole tipped to a 30 degree angle. Whatever – just keep kicking each other in the head, I’LL KEEP WATCHING.

4. Are you bored? Bored enough to watch two Roombas with knives taped to them fight it out? Then go here.

Today’s junk food: Anastasia Confections Original / Key Lime / Rum Coconut Patties!

Anastasia Confections Original / Key Lime / Rum Coconut Patties were sent to me by the company itself, and as a lover of coconut, I WAS STOKED.  I mean, I am DEFINITELY one of those who hoards Mounds and Almond Joys around Halloween time, so when this Florida-based candy maker asked if they could send me some stuff for a review, I SAID YES.

Anastasia sells a bunch of other candies, but looking at its website, it looks like the premier candy are these coconut patties, which is fine with me.

Anastasia Confections Original Coconut Patties are comprised of shredded coconut, covered in dark chocolate. Sometimes, simple really is the best.

Basically, these Anastasia Confections Original Coconut Patties are coated with dark chocolate on all sides but the bottom, which is left exposed – I broke the candy in half and flipped it so you could see what I mean.

Munching on this Original patty, it was really just a perfect coconut bite – nice and soft. The coconut flavor was very strong, and very creamy too.  The whole thing was very moist, and the cover of dark chocolate contrasted the sweetness of the coconut very well.  This was like a Mounds, but better.

I was honestly a bit more wary of these Anastasia Confections Key Lime Coconut Patties – I love key lime, and but generally I hate it in snacks, preferring key lime in baked confections.  I opened up this wrapper and sniffed – a bit of citrus smell.  Nothing crazy.

The inner coconut of these Anastasia Confections Key Lime Coconut Patties was unusually GREEN – sort of looked like wasabi!  I took a bite, and the first taste I got was an immediate strong lime flavor.  Honestly, I felt like I usually do when I have lime in snacks – I didn’t love that initial flavor and shuddered a bit.  However, as I chewed, the lime softened and when mixed with the same coconut and chocolate flavor, it wasn’t bad.  Not my favorite combo though; I liked the Original a lot more.

Anastasia Confections Rum Coconut Patties are one of their newest products, and are made with real Jamaican rum. Nice. I was excited for these. THIS combo makes sense to me – coconut and rum.  Way more than lime and coconut.  Yeah, I know that song talks about the lime in the coconut. I still didn’t love it.

Anastasia Confections Rum Coconut Patties contain “Jamaica Rum,” which is a bit general, but whatever!  Each piece has less than half of 1% alcohol. Which means I can eat this entire box and STILL drive.

This box of Anastasia Confections Rum Coconut Patties contained nine individually wrapped patties, and they looked a lot like other two flavors I’ve reviewed, just with a more golden sheen to the coconut as opposed to the original white. Is that because it’s soaked in rum? We’ll find out.

Opening one of these Anastasia Confections Rum Coconut Patties, I sniffed and could smell a small whiff of rum.  The coconut smell was still very strong, but I could tell there was something else going on.  I took a bite, and swooned. These were DELICIOUS (if you already love coconut).

The immediately recognizable flavor of rum was all over the coconut, but not overpowering.  You know how sometimes you eat a rum cake, and you can’t even stomach a bite because it is (1) too sweet or (2) just an alcohol bomb? These were more restrained, which was a good thing.  The flavor of the rum mixed VERY well with the coconut and provided a great mix of flavor.  The dark chocolate on the outside, again, just helped tie it all together.

As a stand alone confection, I enjoyed these the most. They were like Mounds with a little bit of a rum kick.  REALLY tasty.

My ranking of these Anastasia Coconut Patties: 1-Rum, 2-Original, 3-Key Lime.  Thanks to Anastasia Confections for letting me try them!  Now if you’ll excuse me… *sucks rum from coconut patty like it’s an orange slice*

PURCHASED AT: Online here. Wholesale here.

COST: Prices vary. 

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy