Junk Food Nation, two news stories yesterday jumped out at me.  And all I can say is WTF.

1) So George Zimmerman was arrested AGAIN on potential DV charges.  The girlfriend (who called 911) he allegedly assaulted says he pointed a gun in her face.  He says no gun was ever pointed and that she was, essentially, a psycho. After police arrived on the scene, rather than speaking with officers, Zimmerman placed his own 911 call so that “everyone [could] know the truth.”  ‘Cause…that’s normal.

Let’s recap what has happened since Zimmerman was acquitted in the Trayvon Martin case.  He’s had a series of traffic charges – twice for speeding – and was accused by his ex-wife that SHE was threatened by Zimmerman with a gun.

GZ, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.  First of all, speeding?? This is NOT any commentary on the Martin case, but after all that media whirlwind, why wouldn’t you LIE LOW?  Speeding?  And MORE than once?  Dude, I have a lead foot, and *I’ve* only been pulled over for speeding ONCE in my WHOLE LIFE.

Second, this is the second significant other that has accused you of threatening them with a gun? I’m just going to throw this out there – GET RID OF ALL YOUR GUNS.  This is not a Second Amendment comment.  I’m not saying people shouldn’t own guns, I’m saying *YOU* shouldn’t own guns, George Zimmerman.  That way, when someone accuses you of putting a gun in their face, you can say, “I DON’T EVEN OWN ANY GUNS.” Win win. Sheesh.

2) We’ve all heard of Toronto’s crack smoking mayor, right?  No?  Well, newsflash: Toronto has a mayor that has smoked crack.  And he said it only came about due to extreme intoxication.  Which is, well, I GUESS some sort of f-cked up excuse.  Oh yeah, and there was that leaked video of the mayor threatening to kill someone.  So..that’s good.

Anyways, at a recent City Council meeting where the debate was over stripping the mayor of his powers given the…er…activities in his life, Mayor Ford was apparently so incensed that in the process of challenging another Councilmember to a fight, he (seemingly accidentally) knocked over another female Councilmember to the ground.  So….yeah. That’s mayor-material right there.

The best part of this article: he later announced he was “seeking professional help” and also announced his intention to run for Canada’s Prime Minister…Exciting stand-up comedians everywhere.

Today’s junk food: Skittles Desserts!

Skittles Desserts: The Money Shot

Skittles Desserts is the latest in Skittles flavors that have been released.  In yesterday’s Nosh Show, I talked about how I’d like to Nosh these, and I did!  Let’s scroll through some photos and get right to it.

Skittles Desserts: How is Orange Creme a dessert?

Skittles Desserts: 160 cal per serving

Skittles Desserts: MMMMM SWEET SWEET CHEMICALS

Skittles Desserts: Taste the dessert-y rainbow

I wanted to type more about these Skittles Desserts, but what can you really say?  It’s Skittles candy.  We all know it – the chewy candy confection with the hard candy shell.  We all think it’s BS that the green color in normal Skittles is now Green Apple instead of Lime.  Yada yada yada.

Skittles Desserts: I ate so many my head hurt.

All you REALLY want to know about Skittles Desserts is how close the individual candies actually taste like the flavors they purport to be.  So let’s do that:

Red (Raspberry sorbet) – The red color did taste like raspberry sorbet.  I have to admit – when I first popped one in my mouth, it had a general fruit punch-like flavor.  I was ready to dismiss these.  But as I ate red after red, the raspberry distinct flavor sort of emerged, and it did have a nice brightness to it like a sorbet would have.  So…it’s there.  A bit hidden, but it’s there.

Pink (Strawberry Milkshake) – The pink color definitely tasted very close to strawberry milkshake, for the sole fact that the flavor had a sort of creamy milkiness to it.  So it wasn’t that hard to create, I guess – just take your standard artificial strawberry flavor and add milk.  Strawberry Milkshake!  Sort of.  This one was more accurate than the red.

Orange (Orange Crème) – Probably the best flavor of the bunch.  Like the strawberry milkshake flavor, this was essentially orange with a milkiness added to it, which for an orange creamsicle flavor was SPOT ON.  I tend to think orange has more of that distinct creamy flavor than strawberry milkshake, so I was glad to see it front and center with this flavor.  Really good.

Green (Key Lime Pie) – AWFUL.  I LOVE KEY LIME PIE AND THIS DID NOT TASTE LIKE IT.  Skittles, what is your problem with lime???  I swear this started out sort of citrus-y, but then, I kid you not, turned almost into a sort of apple flavor!!!  STOP MAKING EVERYTHING GREEN APPLE FLAVORED.  That is all.  Awful.

Blue (Blueberry Tart) – Tasted like blueberry, but that’s it.  Blueberry tart flavored? I mean, I guess.

Overall, I liked these Skittles Desserts, and would eat them again, but honestly, there’s nothing AMAZING about these that would lend itself to a re-buy.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart

COST: $2.48

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy