Junk Food Nation, after yesterday’s post, some friendly users sent me some more moments of awkwardness.  So here we go!

8 ) The cellphone offender. These are the people who get on the elevator and then as the ride gets moving, hope beyond hope that their call recipient can still hear them.  “Wait, I’m getting on the elevator… I’m gonna lose you… Hello? Can you hear me? Yeah so I was saying… hello? I’m gonna lose you.  I’M GONNA LOSE YOU.  I’M ON THE ELEVATO* hello?  HELLO? Yeah I lost you.”

I really hope you don’t have an important job, sir.

More after the jump.  Today’s junk food: Andy Capp’s BBQ Fries!

The Money Shot

Ok, I’ll just say it – before we discuss these chips, do any of you KNOW who Andy Capp is? Am I really that old and that nerdy that I feel like I am the only one who remembers reading the Sunday comic strip, in which Andy shuffled between a bar where he would talk about life, gambling, and women, and then shuffle home to argue with his wife wife and drink beer, smoke on the couch, etc.?  Nothing?  No one? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Sigh.

BBQ NEW!

Anyways, Andy Capp was a British cartoon/comic strip character from the 50’s 60’s and 70’s. He became the mascot for this UK based snack in the early 70’s, and they’ve been selling this junk food in gas stations across the US ever since. (Seriously, I bought this in a gas station and have only SEEN these chips sold in gas stations.  Never in a grocery store. Always next to air fresheners.)

Do you know who this man is?

Andy Capp’s fries have had a lot of flavors in the past, including Hot Fries, Cheddar Fries, and Steak Fries. These BBQ Fries, as you can see from the previous photo, are new.  In the above photo, we see Andy Capp enjoying a fry, flicking it into his mouth.  “Taste the Oven Baked Crunch” – can you actually TASTE crunch? I guess we’ll find out.

Corn & POTATO?

Corn and Potato snacks – the best of two worlds, combined into one, or unholy alliance resulting in total world domination? And really, is either a bad thing…

I do agree

You know, I also agree that life is better with a side of fries. Kudos, Andy Capp. I think I may need to dig online and see if I can read your comics more often.

Flavor powder explosion!

Upon opening the bag, I could smell a decent BBQ flavor. The bag was brimming with flavor powder – a good sign. A very good sign.

Andy Capp's Freedom Fries

These little chips are designed to look like fries, and I’d say they were successful, no? Of course, seeing these just made me want REAL French fries…

Flavor embedded

I took a big handful and crunched – not bad.  The flavor powder ensured a decent BBQ flaor, and they were smoky and sweet at the same time too – a good flavor profile all around. The crunch was big, but generally these chips were light and airy – almost a lighter version of Cheetos. All told, this was a tasty combination.

The problem for me was that it didn’t really taste anything like a fry – the only that screamed French fry was the shape.  The corn and potato blend was good, but you could definitely taste more of the corn than the potato. It was a nice, flavorful crunchy snack, but these could’ve easily been shaped as something, anything else.

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9) The back-facer. I’ve never had this happen to me, but my friends insist they have had numerous encounters where a person has gotten on the elevator and proceeded to face the back of the elevator (and, in turn, face everyone else waiting on the elevator). Let me just say this, if I ever encountered this mortifying situation, I’d flip the eff off. I’d probably just clear my throat, and state, “TURN. AROUND. PSYCHO.”

10) People who discuss personal stuff loudly. DING! “…yeah, and I told him that if he doesn’t want to wear condoms, then he can bang some other slut down the street. Yeah I said condoms. What’s wrong with the word ‘condoms’? I don’t care if the other people on this elevator can hear me CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS.”

Ugh. Look, we don’t know you, and if we could, we’d push you off a cliff. Please shut up.

11) Elevator literature. Apparently office buildings have decided that news postings, daily/weekly events, and other ads should be put on the elevator walls because it is an opportune time where your audience is (quite literally) captive for 20-30 seconds.  I saw one once that actually said “If this elevator breaks, you’ll wish you took the stairs! One stair a day, keeps the doctor away!” It was an ad for healthy living and taking the stairs as a way to encourage fitness in the office place.

The next day, someone had ripped it off the wall, leaving shreds of the ad dangling.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy