Junk Food Nation, my office is cold. Like, very cold. Like so cold you can see your breath (I think). And I have no idea why. The rest of the office building has central air, but when people walk into my office, here’s what they say:

“Dude, it’s cooooold in here.”

“What is going on in here, it’s freezing!”

“You should call to complain.”

But I don’t complain because I love A/C. I enjoy being warm from cold, rather than the opposite. I’d much rather be in an icey cold room with a big blanket than in a sweltering room with just shorts on.  Here in DC, where humidity reigns supreme, A/C is my friend. So even though my fingertips and toes go numb by 1:00pm, I will continue to allow A/C to be pumped into my lungs, cooling me inside and out… now where’s my Slanket? (no, not the Snuggie, you weirdos. The Slanket!)

Today’s Classic Junk Food is Herr’s Honey Cheese Flavored Curls!

The Money Shot

I’m listing this amongst classic junk food because for years I’ve walked by this snack in my local Safeway and thought, “Gross. No way. That sounds awful.” But for you, Junk Food Nation, I’ll do it.  I will endure what is apparently honey and cheese mixed together on the surface of a Cheese Curl.  Great.

Bold move, Herr's

Yeah, OK, Herr’s. Satisfaction guaranteed? What if I go running screaming from the room, spitting orange Cheese Curl as I go?  What then?

Scary effing bee

This classic snack is highlighted by a scary effing bee on the front. Look, Herr’s, people are afraid of bees. They just are. Ever seen a 40-yr old man running screaming through the park, chased by a tiny bee? Yeah, it’s not pretty. So why the hell, when choosing a picture of a bee, would you go with a mean mother effer??? Someone get Pixar on the line, we need a makeover here.

Orange glowing fingers

Standard cheese curl look, no surprises here. The taste would be the kicker…

Cheese Curl: up close and personal

Um, weird. It’s a slightly sweet and savory cheese curl. Here’s how I’ll describe it – the sweetness of the cheese curl gives the cheese and slight ketchup-y flavor, if you imagine that without any hint of smokiness.  You know how if you just taste a dollop of ketchup, its mostly sweet with a tinge of svory? That’s this – it’s like a cheese curl with the sweetness similar to ketchup.

Ick.

Not a fan. The sweetness dulls pretty quickly to give in to the cheesy flavor, but these are definitely an acquired taste. Dunno who came up with these, or why, but they should maybe be taken out of the rotation for a bit.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy