Junk food Nation, I’m used to apps on my phone doing a lot of incredible things.  The two apps I love the most are Shazam, which STILL blows my mind that it can just tell me what the name of the song I’m listening to is, and the NextBus app, which tells me when the next DC Metro Bus is coming.  But MOVE OVER, NextBus and Shazam!!  Just a few days ago, the 49ers made some announcements about their new stadium: attendees would be able to download an app that would tell fans, during games, where the shortest beer, food, and BATHROOM LINES are.  Say whaaaaaaaa?????

Now THAT is crazy.  You mean, from my seat, I can check my phone and see when the flow to the bathroom is low when the flow to my bladder is high, go use the facilities, check to see which stand will help me replenish the flow to my mouth, and then start the cycle all over again?  Now THAT’S service.

Of course, two things concern me.  Anyone who has tried to use a cellphone during an event where there are tons of people KNOWS how slow data can be (“WHY ISN’T MY FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATING????WAAAAAHHHH”).  And second, I’ve parked at airport parking structures a hundred times where the signs on each level are supposed to tell me how many spaces are free. ALL. LIES.  47 open spaces, my ass….WHERE ARE THEY?!

But if this does work, I fully approve.  Any app that prevents me from waiting in the sad line of humanity that is the men’s urinal line, shuffling my feet along in a pool of undetermined liquid, and relieving myself when dude doing the peepee dance is standing LITERALLY two feet behind me, is a GOOD THING.

What do you think of this app? Tell me in the comments below.

So I was walking through my local grocery, looking for new items, when I spotted a huge cardboard promo stand with THESE:

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Spicy & Wavy Potato Chips

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Butter Popcorn

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Popcorn

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls

My eyes bugged out of my head.  Tabasco and Utz, partnering together???? Which one would I review?  All of them? None of them??  I HAD TO TRY SOMETHING!  But was I really going to spend 14 dollars on these products?  Maybe.

And so, today’s junk food: New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls!

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls: The Money Shot

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls!  Of course, these would be what I try first. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Utz Cheese Curls, so any opportunity I get I try to stuff my gullet full of them.  Out of potato chips, popcorn, and cheese curls, it’s a safe bet that cheese curls always ranks number one in my book…and that’s saying something, considering how much I love corn chips and potato chips.

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls: NEW!

At least my local Giant grocery made it easy for me to spot the new items.  I like that these New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls are not called Tabasco flavored or the like – they are SPIKED with Tabasco.  Like someone came along and shook a bottle into each bag.  Although, SPIKED makes me worried there’s not going to be ENOUGH Tabasco in these curls…

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls: about 7.5 calories a curl

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls: DRY RED FLAVORING?

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls contain something called DRY RED FLAVORING, which is apparently vinegar, red pepper, and salt.  I wonder if they have that trademarked?

By the way, don’t you love how the cheesy insides have almost eaten their way through the plastic bag? Yeah, this is a snack worth trying…

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls: The bag just smelled like cheese

I munched a bunch of these New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls, and here’s the problem – they didn’t, to me, taste ENOUGH like Tabasco.

The Cheese Curls start out pretty standard – great Utz crunch, and a nice cheddar cheesy and creamy flavor.  But then a tangy burn kicks in – the burn is mild, but present.  The tanginess, I suppose, is supposed to be the flavor of Tabasco…but there wasn’t enough OF it.

New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls: Flecked with dark red

To me, Tabasco, besides being spicy, is strong on vinegar taste.  The tanginess from these New Utz Tabasco Spiked Cheese Curls tasted more like tomato or red pepper powder – sharp and tangy, but not necessarily vinegar-y.  Like, my nostrils weren’t burning, and it didn’t cause the corners of my tongue to sprout saliva, like Tabasco usually does.  Instead, these were rather salty, which in a way sort of killed the original cheese flavor.

So, overall, these tasted fine – cheesy, tangy, and spicy.  But these could have been just called Spicy Cheese Curls and I wouldn’t have known the difference.  Tabasco spiked?  I mean, I guess so…but I was not convinced.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Food Grocery

COST: $3.29

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy