Junk Food Nation, yesterday was a banner day for crazy ass sports news!  Let’s get to it, shall we, and lead off with the fact that Chad Johnson (aka Ocho Cinco) was in court yesterday where he was to plead guilty to a probation violation.  The deal with the prosecutors would have given him community service in lieu of jail time.  And then, when asked whether he was satisfied with his attorney, Chad Johnson slapped his attorney on the ass, sending the courtroom audience into apparently fits of laughter.  The judge was having none of it, so she rejected the plea and stepped the wide receiver back.

As a former prosecutor myself, all I can do is sigh. The judge, I imagine, will reduce the sentence, as I personally think 30 days is a bit excessive for a joke.  The point the judge was trying to make, however, is well taken – the process is to be taken seriously, and it shouldn’t matter who you are; celebrities and mediocre wide receivers do not get special treatment out of fairness to the rest of us.  And Chad – you couldn’t just hold it in for TWENTY MINUTES until you got out of there?? All you had to say was “yes” and turn and walk out the door, but you HAD to do SOMETHING to elicit a reaction?  What are you, eight years old? Idiot.

Speaking of brilliant moves, remember 26-yr-old Sarah Jones, the former Bengals cheerleader turned high school educator that was fired for sleeping with a 17-year old student?  Well, her genius continues, because they ARE GETTING MARRIED.  Yep, for realz yo.  Not only is this a bad idea for SO MANY REASONS, but selfishly my gut reaction was what is this now-19-yr-old guy thinking??  “Hey let’s settle down and not have sex with hundreds of other girls while I’m in my youthful prime.” Yeah, THAT’S SMART.  Of course, this presumes that fidelity and devotion are his number one priorities when, let’s face it, Xbox and Natty Boh probably are.

And finally, how could I not mention that Tim Tebow has signed with the Patriots.  Wow.  This is either a huge mistake or another Belichick miracle.  Of course, Belichick isn’t batting 1.000 when it comes to reclamation projects; for every Randy Moss and Corey Dillon there is still Chad Johnson and Albert Haynesworth.  Let me recap some comments my friends made last night:

“Basically, the Patriots traded Wes Welker to the Broncos for Tebow.  Pretty sure Denver won that one.”

“He’s coming to save Gronkowski.” “Position wise, or in the religious sense.” “Both, since Gronkowski likes to dance with porn stars.”

“Do you think Ryan Mallett is pissed?” “Wait, Ryan Mallett’s still on the team?”

“Maybe they are just trying to get the Jets playbook?” “Well, that’s no use, Tebow didn’t KNOW the Jets playbook!” (BA-ZING!)

Anyways, good luck Tim.  I’m still a fan, especially if you cough up some turnovers to my Bills.

Today’s junk food: Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips!

Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips: The Money Shot

Saw these Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips on The Impulsive Buy first.  After having eaten and reviewed the other two Ruffles Ultimate flavors, and liking them generally, I was excited to see a third flavor added to the mix.  And I LOVE mustard on snacks!  I loved mustard on Wheat Thins, I loved mustard on Pringles and I loved mustard on Almonds.  MORE MUSTARD!  MORE MUSTARD!

Ew, no.

Of course, I am rather turned off by their suggestion of dipping these Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips into their Ruffles Ultimate BBQ sauce.  NO. I WILL NOT.  I realize that mustard and BBQ can go together, but I will not be muddying up these chips with a cheap smoke sauce, Ruffles!  How dare you.

Can we get new copy here?

Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips is dro-kick-to-the-face tangy?  Who’s writing this stuff, a high schooler? Can we get some ad-men in here, please?

16 cal per chip

“Salad Style Mustard”

Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips contain MSG, Horseradish, and “Salad Style Mustard” – which all sounds tasty to me!

Smell the tang!

When I opened the bag of these Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips, I definitely got a hint of faint mustard smell.  The chips themselves were the same structurally as the other Ruffles Ultimate brands – big thick ridges, and a much coarser chip than normal.  Perfect for holding extra flavor powder, you’d think.  Munch time!

Powder all up in there

Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Potato Chips were GREAT.  If you like mustard, that is.  Marvo from the Impulsive Buy discussed this on our last Nosh Show podcast – they tasted like potato chips dipped into McDonalds Hot Mustard Sauce.  And he is so right.

The coarse chip is very crunchy, and actually makes it sort of hard to fit a lot of chips in your mouth at once.  But the flavor is on point – the mustard flavor is indeed very tangy, and had a wonderful sweet mustard flavor.  And there’s plenty of it, too – I don’t think Ruffles skimped on the flavor powder at all.  Just a nice, solid mustard taste.

But then add on top of that sweet honey mustard taste the flavor of horseradish!  It added a slight spiciness as well as that sort of bitter-mustard taste.  Gave the entire flavor some edge and brought the flavor back into tasting like actual mustard, not just mustard powder.

All in all, a really nice chip.  Chip Review has another review here.

PURCHASED AT: Giant

COST: $4.29 (not on sale)

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy