Junk Food Nation, today, Monday, April 8, I have an official announcement to make: I AM OFFICIALLY AND FOREVER DONE WITH WORDS WITH FRIENDS.  You know what I’m talking about, right?  I’m talking about the iPhone, Android, and Facebook application, made by Zynga, that is essentially a Scrabble knockoff.  I used to love this game.  Played it all the time.  When I woke up. On the john. On the subway. Before I went to bed.  But I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.  I am sick of this game.

The first problem is it isn’t really a priority for me anymore, which I guess is a good thing.  But what happens now is that that red notification dot that appears on the application just sits there, on my phone, reminding me of how many games I have still outstanding that I haven’t played a word in yet.  IT’S SCRABBLE, SO WHY AM I TORTURING MYSELF??  Because I’m OCD like that, apparently.

And the reminders…the REMINDERS HAVE DRIVEN ME INSANE.  Little messages that pop up on my phone from the app itself!  “Mark has nudged you – play a word!” “If you don’t play a word soon, Steve will win!” ALRIGHT ALREADY. I can’t even just leave an app alone for TWO FRIGGIN DAYS without some passive aggressive notification appearing.  Every time a message like that appears, I want to hurl the phone into heavy traffic.

So that’s it.  Done. I’M FINISHED.  Remove that triple word score ball and chain, forever!

Today’s junk food: New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts!

New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts: The Money Shot

I’ve reviewed Milano Melts on this blog before, and most of the time, they get sort of BLAH reviews.  Usually the cookie is too dry, the filling is unsatisfactory, all that business.  But I must say, PF has their marketing down, because even after ALL these subpar reviews, I was swayed to buy these New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts!

First a cake, not a pie, then a cookie???

New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts??? Are you kidding me??? Does PF know how much I love Boston Cream Pie?  And for the uninitiated, from Wiki:

“A Boston cream pie is a cake that is filled with a custard or cream filling and frosted with chocolate. Although it is called a Boston cream pie, it is in fact a cake, and not a pie. Created by Armenian-French chef M. Sanzian at Boston’s Parker House Hotel in 1856, this pudding and cake combination comprises two layers of sponge cake filled with vanilla flavored custard or crème pâtissière. The cake is topped with a chocolate glaze (such as ganache) and sometimes powdered sugar or a cherry.”

It sort of is

Most of us, even if we haven’t had a Boston Cream Pie..cake, HAVE had a Boston Cream Pie Donut.  That luscious custard filling, and that chocolate glaze on the outside.  It’s like an explosion of creamy chocolatey cream puffery in my mouth.  Will these New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts live up to that hype?

75 cal per cookie

SUGAR is the number 1 ingredient.  Yes, it is.

Wow, this might the first time I’ve seen sugar over flour as the number one ingredient.  PF is striving for new heights!  I fully encourage this.

New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts

When I opened the bag of these New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts, the smell that wafted out DID remind me of Boston Cream Pie – soft, buttery, and sort of caramel-y.  Actually, the more I smelled it, the more the aroma changed – while at first it DID smell like fresh Boston Cream Pie, the burnt-sugar smell slowly took over until, honestly, the only thing I smelled was butterscotch.  BUTTERSCOTCH BUTTERSCOTCH BUTTERSCOTCH.  Whoa. Let’s eat.

New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts

These New Pepperidge Farm Boston Cream Pie Milano Melts reminded me SOMEWHAT of Boston Cream Pie, but only sort of.  The cookie of the Milano was buttery, but due to the rigidity needed to add a filling inside, was not as soft as a normal Milano.  As a result, the outer shell came off a bit dry.  Boston Cream Pie is moist because of all those layers of custard inside the cake.  So the texture threw me off a bit.

The cream inside was tasty – velvety and creamy.  Did it remind me of Boston Cream Pie custard? Sort of – tasted the same, but clearly wasn’t as pudding-like as the normal dessert.  The chocolate rimming provided a little bit of chocolate taste to simulate the chocolate frosting on the outside of a Boston Cream Pie, but there wasn’t enough chocolate.

All in all, I’d give this a big ol MEH.  The flavor profile was sort of there – headed in the right direction.  But if I closed my eyes and you told me these were chocolate butterscotch cookies, I might say these were spot on.  If I closed my eyes and thought these were Boston Cream Pie cookies…I’d say they were close, but no cigar.

PURCHASED AT: Target

COST: $2.69 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy