Junk Food Nation, Happy Mardi Gras!!!!  Wait, I think that started last night.  Anyways, Happy Fat Tuesday!  Let’s eat junk food, drink, be merry and flash our naughty bits to our heart’s content.  I expected there to be SOME nudity in last night’s State of Union address…but no such luck.  Why couldn’t the State of the Union have been given by Kate Upton? With response by Minka Kelly?  Can we figure this out for next time, people?

I feel like I’ve been so busy at work, I’ve missed a bunch of things on TV recently.  The Grammys.  The State of the Union.  But one thing I didn’t miss was a recent IOC decision to remove wrestling from the Summer Olympics.  Now here’s the thing: I’m no fan of wrestling. Even back in the day, I never REALLY watched WWF.  But REMOVING IT FROM THE OLYMPICS??? I’m no historian, but isn’t wrestling one of the ORIGINAL OLYMPIC SPORTS?  It was wrestling and running back in the day, I’m sure of it. And maybe sacrificing a pig to the Roman Gods. But regardless – I’m PRETTY sure Greco-Roman wrestling is CALLED Greco-Roman wrestling FOR A REASON.

I mean, can’t we just eliminate sports which no one cares about? I know this will offend people, but let’s chop badminton, table tennis, synchronized swimming, rhythm gymnastics, dressage, and that weird biking sport where the riders wear helmets from my nightmares.  But no – wrestling will be gone come 2020.  Nice work, idiots.

While the IOC is determined to botch the Olympics even more as we head into the future, the Golden State Warriors are making moves to actually evolve, announcing this week that (YES) they will soon have alternative basketball uniforms that FEATURE SLEEVES. And I, for one, AM A HUGE FAN OF THIS LOOK.  The new Adidas unis look SCHWEEEET, and ensures that if basketball games ever get played outside, players’ shoulders will stay nice and warm.   Seriously, though, I’m a sucker for anything that makes a sport I’m sort of lukewarm on a cooler experience.  Of course, I am the same person who loved Maryland’s football unis designed by Under Armour.

And finally, this week’s entry into “AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE THE LAW”: A girl who got a C+ in a class at Lehigh University is suing the University for the bad grade.  Yep, that’s right. She’s suing for potential lost wages for the bad grade she received in a field work class.  $1.3 million is what she claims she will lose over the course of her career.  WOW.  First of all, if this is gonna  be some sort of precedent, then I’d like to sue my high school guidance counselor for NOT making me take Typing in high school (DAMN THIS CARPAL TUNNEL), and then I’d like to sue my college for forcing me to read Machiavelli when I KNEW IT WOULD NEVER COME IN HANDY.  Finally, I’d like to sue my former self for not getting laid more in college.

Enough rambles.  Today’s junk food: New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix and PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix!

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix, PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix: The Money Shots

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix and PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix were found at my local Walgreens, and I have been waiting and waiting for them to be on sale.  Before I found them for $1.50 each, they were retailing for a whopping $3.00 a piece!  Seriously??  It’s 3 ounces of food, Cracker Jacks. Bloodsuckers.

Anyways, these two flavors are just the tip of the iceberg.  According to this article, there’s a ton more flavors out there – sweet-based flavors with caffeine, and a Spicy Pizzeria version too??  Check out their Facebook page for more info, I guess.

Impact!!!

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix and PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix are apparently “snacks with impact!”  I guess what Cracker Jack is going for is sort of an energy-fueled take on things? Like, if you’re on the go, this will give you the boost you need? We’ll see.  I have liked things in the past that claimed to be JACKED…but it’s such a ridiculous buzzword, I’m skeptical.

First, let’s take a look at the New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix!

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix: Cheddar and BBQ Oat Clusters?

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix: At least whole rolled oats is ingredient #1

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix: Loaded with peanuts and almonds

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix: You can smell the sodium!

New Cracker Jack’D Cheddar BBQ Hearty Mix wasn’t bad.  The almonds and peanuts were basically Cajun style, with bits of powdered flavoring all over them, providing a savory, smoky flavor.  The Cheddar BBQ clusters were really the star of the show, here, and they were full of smoky, sweet BBQ flavor with a nice tangy creamy finish of cheese (not sure if I could call it cheddar).  Pretty good, all in all.

Let’s move onto the New Cracker Jack’D PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix!

New Cracker Jack’D PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix: Savory Peanut Butter, huh?

New Cracker Jack’D PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix: See? SUGAR is ingredient #1 in this one. Go fig.

New Cracker Jack’D PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix: This is sort of like a sweet trail mix.

New Cracker Jack’D PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix: Inside the covered oat clusters.

New Cracker Jack’D PB & Chocolate Hearty Mix had a few more surprises than the Cheddar BBQ version.  For one, the mix of both honey roasted peanuts and salted peanuts gave the entire mouthful a really nice sweet/savory contrast.  The chocolate covering and the peanut butter coverings to the oat clusters were, to be fair, standard – full of oil, but also full of smooth peanut butter and chocolatey flavor.  The oat clusters themselves were crunchy, and provided a nice texture.  Basically, a mouthful of this felt like a crunchy peanut butter cup.

So how did I feel about these mixes overall? Not bad.  Not bad.  They certainly tasted fine, but nothing blew me away. The main problem I spotted is that in making these Jack’D varieties, Cracker Jack got rid of what I MOST associate with their product: THE POPCORN.  As a result, these were just good decent versions of trail mix or snack mix.  Won’t disappoint, but my expectations were tempered anyways.

PURCHASED AT: Walgreens

COST: $1.50 each on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy