JFG Nation, last night my friend Sinc clued me into this: THE PAQUI ONE CHIP CHALLENGE.

Apparently, the gourmet tortilla chip company Paqui has invented THE REAPER; a tortilla chip so spicy it comes one to a package. It uses a combo of chipotle, ghost, and Carolina Reaper peppers (seen above already burning a hole in my ass) as its seasoning.

It looks like this:

The one chip challenge is just a promotion by Paqui to get people to film themselves eating the spicy chip. Here is the site cataloging some of the attempts so far. And this is the coffin-like outer packaging:

I watched some of the videos and have come to this rant-filled conclusion: people who are “tough guys” about how spicy something is or isn’t are effing losers.

Here’s why: because if something is genuinely not spicy; fine, then it’s not. But if you film yourself and you’re sweating and coughing but saying stuff like, “oh that’s interesting. Yeah, that’s hot. Good flavor though cough cough woo yeah that’s really interesting,” WHO ARE YOU IMPRESSING? Answer: no one. I can’t remember the last time a female saw a guy not flinch when eating a jalapeño and say WOW HE MUST HAVE PERFECT GENETICS WE MUST MATE.

Also, you’re kind of being a dick if you’re purposely trying to be contrarian and say something is not spicy when it is because you want to be tough. It’s the same woman who sees Mt. Rushmore and says meh I thought it’d be bigger. It’s the same dude who eats a nice restaurant and says pffffft overrated. People who are contrarian because they feel like it makes them superior are jagoffs, and the worst of the bunch are people who shrug off spice like they piss capsaicin. “Oh I have an ulcer from eating this chip? Cool, brah; let’s go do bicep curls. I’M COOLER THAN ALL OF YOU.”

(Side note – I get the same feeling when I hear marathon runners who shrug off the distance. Running a marathon is HARD, you can just say, “Yes that was really hard but I trained well enough to survive and not feel too shitty after.” I once heard a guy who finished a marathon say “it wasn’t so bad, I actually thought it’d be harder.” DID YOU? I’M SORRY IT WAS SO BORING FOR YOU, FORREST. NEVERMIND THAT THIS IS A REAL ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR OTHERS; YOU GO AHEAD AND DUMP RIGHT ON THEIR ACHIEVEMENT, DICK)

Anyways, I am still debating whether I’d like to try this chip; on one hand I do run a junk food blog, on the other hand, I’d like to not turn my butt into a jet propulsion engine. Still mulling.

Thoughts on any of this? Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Pringles LOUD Punch of Parm & Rosemary!!

Pringles LOUD Punch of Parm & Rosemary! Another LOUD flavor due out this January.

Pringles LOUD Punch of Parm & Rosemary are also on veggie crisps, like the Tomato Basil crisps.

When I opened these Pringles LOUD Punch of Parm & Rosemary chips, I could smell lots of garlic and a hint of rosemary. Like the tomato basil crisps, the chips themselves had a slight green tinge to them. I dig the color.

I munched a few of these Pringles LOUD Punch of Parm & Rosemary chips and REALLY liked these. The crisps, again, were wonderful – light, crispy, and very much on the same texture and style of a potato Pringle.

The Parmesan flavor was everything I wanted – salty, cheesy, and fragrant. The balance was good, though – I wasn’t overwhelmed. The rosemary flavor was definitely there, pumped up by a strong garlic flavor. I could’ve used more rosemary, but the overall flavor balance was a good one.

I rank these right up there with the Tomato Basil crisps. Nice strong flavor; tasty crisps. Buy.

 

Purchased at: Coming up, Q1, Family Dollar

Cost: I’m sure they’ll be decently cheap

Sincerely,

The JFG