JFG Nation, Happy Friday! Or, what’s left of it. I spent the entire day dodging April Fools jokes, and wrestling with the fact that my INTERNET SUCKS. DAMN YOU COMCAST LET ME UPLOAD PICTURES GAAAAAAAAAH. Anywho, if you want a good view of some of the April Fools Day jokes that companies put out there, go here.

On the way home from work, I saw two ridiculous things. First, passing by a clothing store here in DC called H&M, there was just some dude sitting inside the store inside one of the display windows, wearing sunglasses and reading a book. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. My co-worker stopped mid-story and exclaimed, “Who just sits in an H&M window and reads a book??” And he’s right – WTF, dude? This ain’t a bay window at your student union. Nor was this the window booth at a Starbucks, Panera, or Barnes & Noble (do those even exist anymore?) This was an H&M…a fast fashion clothing store! Who thinks “Hey, I need to finish up this Psych reading…I think I’ll settle in near the leather cuff section.” Plus, the sunglasses? It was cloudy out. So effing bizarre.

Second, on my daily walk home from the subway, there are bus stops spaced out every three or four blocks. As I walk up to one, I see a guy at the stop just meandering onto the street to look down the way to see if the bus is coming. I can understand doing the leeeaaaaaaaaaaaan to see if the bus is down the street, but usually I just pull back when I do/don’t see anything, and go back to looking at cute pig pictures on Instagram. This dude? He just stood. In the street. As traffic approached. Hands in pockets, hip cocked to the side. It wasn’t until traffic go REALLY close and the front-leading car honked that he did a quick hop back onto the curb.

NOT COOL MAN. I don’t know where you grew up, but the four lane street that people use during rush hour isn’t the best place to be lolly-gagging. People in DC will think you’re just a crazy person and take you out to rid the population of your stupidity. The too-cool-for-school or too-cool-to-not-stand-in-traffic routine ain’t impressing anyone; you look like a maniac. Weirdo.

Have you seen people doing any bizarre sh*t lately? Let me know in the comments below.

PS: If after tomorrow night’s games the NCAA Final is Villanova vs. Syracuse, I will have seen everything. Syracuse making a final a year after a suspension? Jay Wright NOT choking in the tournament?? What is this world coming to?

Today’s junk food: Honey Nut, Coffee Nut, & Chili Nut Peanut M&M’s!!!

Yes, these are real. Someone on Instagram thought these might be another gag item; but nope – this Hershey’s promotion to have eaters vote between Honey Nut, Coffee Nut, & Chili Nut Peanut M&M’s is a real thing. They’ve apparently been out for a while, but I only got my hands on these a few days ago. Voting takes place between March 1 and June 17, so if you’ve hand these, go here now and vote! Meanwhile, I shall eat.

First up: Honey Nut M&M’s!!

Here’s the thing – when we talked about these on the Nosh Show, I was skeptical. I mean, flavored M&M’s have generally been a big stinky flop. Plus, these flavor combos seemed weird. Third, I love Peanut M&M’s, and most others I know do too – were they really hurting for more exposure?

Of course, now that I look back, that was terrible logic on my part – it’s the same reason that Doritos and Oreos and Pringles keep coming out with new flavors: BUZZ. So, with an open mind, I plunged into these Honey Nut Peanut M&M’s.

MMMMM. These were really good. Or, were they good because Peanut M&M’s are inherently good? I think that’s more it. These tasted like basic Peanut M&M’s, with a noticeable honey flavor sheen added to the outside. Did it take like Honey Nut Cheerios? I mean, sort of, if I really stretched my brain. The primary flavor was the chocolate and peanut I was crunching in my mouth, but the honey was there and I liked how it combined with the other two tastes. Admittedly, I am on a honey kick right now. These were good. B+.

Second up: Coffee Nut M&M’s!!

This was the one I crooked my eyebrow at the most, but I have no idea why – THESE WERE GREAT. As soon as I crunched one, the mocha-coffee flavor was EVERYWHERE and, unlike the Honey version, didn’t just taste like a Peanut M&M with flavor added. No, these Coffee Nut M&M’s were different enough to make me pause and nod. The coffee flavor was bold and, surprisingly, meshed with the nut flavor very well. I guess we, the public, have tasted nuttiness in coffee for a while (think hazelnut, etc.) so the pairing of nut and coffee was very complementary.

I chewed have the bag before I realized I needed to take some pictures. A solid A.

And finally: Chili Nut M&M’s!!

NEWSFLASH: Chili Nut Peanut M&M’s taste like regular Peanut M&M’s….until the end of your chew when this burst of cayenne spice comes out of nowhere. Basically, the “chili” aspect of the nut didn’t change the actual flavor of the candy. Since spice is a sensation rather than a flavor, I could understand this…what I couldn’t figure out is HOW they did it. How did they get the spice to kick in at the END, rather than at the beginning?

The only thing I can figure is that the nuts themselves must’ve been coated with chili sugar before they went into the M&M-making process. The chocolate itself wasn’t spiced…it wasn’t until the candy was throughly chewed that any Mexican-hot-chocolate-like flavor emerged. I liked these but not as much as the Coffee Nut ones. STILL, in terms of execution…..pretty interesting. I’d give these a B for flavor, but an A- for innovation.

All told, I was surprised how much I actually enjoyed all three flavor: Honey Nut, Coffee Nut, & Chili Nut. The basic gist is if you like Peanut M&M’s, you’ll likely like these. I’ll be curious to see what you, JFG Nation, thinks of these. If you’ve had them, let me know your ranking in the comments below.

Ok, Nation – sorry for the delay. Have a great weekend! DON’T STAND IN TRAFFIC.

PURCHASED AT: Walgreens, Cleveland Park, DC

COST: 3 for $2.00

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy