JFG Nation, Happy Friday! Well, it was a happy Friday, until I saw this article on a former professor’s wall about the new Monopoly game that Hasbro has released called MONOPOLY: ULTIMATE BANKING (where’s the Fox robot when you need him?) It looks like this:

 

So what’s the difference? Read here:

“In an attempt to keep the classic board game relevant to our millennial lifestyle, Hasbro has dropped the dollar bills for bank cards in its newest Monopoly edition “Ultimate Banking,” which will roll out later this year for $24.99. (The original version will still be available.)

“In the game, players will tap their plastic on a small credit card reader dubbed the ‘Ultimate Banking Unit’ to purchase properties and pay rent. The bank cards will also track wealth and rising property values, Hasbro said.”

Wait wait WAIT. NO PAPER MONEY??? I was already reeling from this revelation when I read this:

“Now bank cards, event cards and title deeds are all readable with the Ultimate Banking Unit,” the company said in a statement. “The Ultimate Banking Unit allows fans to track their wealth, buy properties, collect rent and watch their fortunes rise and fall with a simple tap to the unit.

“Also, there is a difference in the gameplay that makes it more fast paced, dynamic and fun. For example, there are event cards that can make rent levels rise and fall, so your luck can change in an instant.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA. First of all, you can’t take away paper money from Monopoly. What else am I going to stack carefully with OCD-like obsession every time someone pays me rent? I don’t want a small simulated charge card. I DON’T PAY MY RENT WITH A CHARGE CARD (….although I don’t pay my rent with stacks of cash either…hmmm….WELL MAYBE I SHOULD START.)

Second, why should we be gearing this game towards millennials? Since when is the managing and owning of Atlantic City properties interesting to those who grew up on SnapChat or Vine? Keep Monopoly relevant to those of us who are desperately clinging to our childhoods and actually in the position to BUY property, Hasbro!! Instead of updating the technology, you could add in the wrinkle, “Real estate agent who is trying to hide that rot in the basement” or cards that let you buy Collateralized Debt Obligations. Rename the game MONOPOLY: THE BIG SHORT.

Third, they are trying to make game play faster and more dynamic? IT’S MONOPOLY, HASBRO. It’s not MEANT to be fast paced and dynamic. It’s meant to be long, drawn out, and the game only ends when people either get so bored they start watching a movie and have to be reminded it is their turn, or everyone gets up for dinner and forgets the game even started. THAT’S Monopoly. Get outta here with your new rules. WHAT’S NEXT, BACKING THE FIELD GOALS UP FIVE YARDS. YOU’RE OUTTA YOUR MIND.

What do you think of these changes, JFG Nation? Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Lay’s Fiery Roasted Habanero Potato Chips!!

I did one Flavor Swap comparison earlier this week, giving Honey Barbecue a C, and Korean Barbeque a B-. Now it’s time to matchup two spicy flavors: Lay’s Flamin’ Hot Potato Chips and Lay’s Fiery Roasted Habanero Potato Chips.

Habanero peppers are typically VERY spicy, and they pair well with sweet citrus flavors…the extreme spice and the acid from the citrus are great complements. I’ll be curious to see how Lay’s Fiery Roasted Habanero Potato Chips expresses the fire flavor.

The Lay’s Flamin Hot Chips I’ve had many times, and enjoyed – they are immediately spicy and have a tomato-powder sweetness to them. They don’t have much tang; instead they go more for the sweet spicy areas of the tongue. The burn lasts and lingers but doesn’t cover up the potato flavor. Flamin’ Hot chips are a solid contribution to the Lay’s line.

The bag of Lay’s Fiery Roasted Habanero Potato Chips started with a slightly roasted savory smell. I popped some in my mouth, and definitely a more savory flavor, a MUCH more savory flavor – good notes of pepper, onion, garlic. Slight tang. The flavor profile was really really tasty.

They aren’t as immediately spicy as the Flamin’ Hot chips, but the burn is there and lingers afterwards too.  The sweetness in these chips is a little different – definitely a roasted pepper taste, and less spicy overall.

Between the two, it’s tough. I like spicy chips, and while these didn’t kill me, the burn is respectable. I like both of these flavors WAY more than either BBQ flavor. I can be a traditionalist sometimes, so while I enjoyed the more complex and tasty flavor of the Roasted Habanero chips, the Flamin’ Hot still fits into a particular segment in my head.

I’d give the Flamin’ Hot an A-, and I’d give the Roasted Habanero a B+. Very very close. Can we just keep both of these and boot the BBQ flavors?

 

PURCHASED AT: Walmart, Germantown, MD

COST: see this link

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy