JFG Nation, Merry Xmas Eve (for those who celebrate)!! For the everyone else, it’s  FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!

For those who don’t remember Festivus, this clip should explain things:

This famous episode from Seinfeld over a decade ago provided lots of fodder for everyone this year. Rand Paul released his airing of grievances. So did a sportswriter for the Green Bay Packers. And YouTube star Lee Newton’s airing of grievances was the best of all. Well, you know me, I’m completely swayed by peer pressure and mob mentality. Therefore: IT’S TIME FOR THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES. (Even though this was supposed to happen yesterday…)

The Impulsive Buy: Severely disappointed with the lack of spam musubi and poke pics on your Insta. You might as well live in not-Hawaii!

Grub Grade: Seriously, dude? We live 30 minutes from each other. And we still haven’t hung out? I’m beginning to get a complex.

On Second Scoop: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DO NOT LIKE ORANGE FOOD. Also, coffee ice cream is the best.

Nick Rovo: Hey, since when does the other half of the ice cream blog only post donut pics? Chop chop with the sundaes.

Nerd Lunch: So nerdy. Still trying to figure out who is who. I’ll have it sorted next time.

“New” job: You’re killing me. I’m drowning over here. Knock it off.

Buffalo Bills: You’re also killing me. Sixteen years since we’ve been in the playoffs?? That means kids born in 2000 think of you like I used to think of the Red Sox and Cubs. Gross.

Detroit Lions: PLEASE. Cover a spread once in a while. You suck.

Local bagel place that I adore: I said dark toast on this bagel. DARK. Stop taking the bagel out of the oven after two minutes; LEAVE IT IN THERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

Chipotle: Stop poisoning people. I miss my favorite way to ingest 1000 calories in one sitting. Fix yo-self, and starting dishing me more carnitas.

Junk Food Gal: I’ll stop leaving dishes all over the place when you stop scrolling through puppy pics on Instagram. Checkmate.

People who lean on the poles in subways: BOOT TO THE HEAD.

Netflix, HBO GO, and Amazon Prime App: Actually, I have no beef with you. I like you a lot. You fill all of my mind holes with pure entertainment. Thank you, warm glowing screen.

Starz App: WHY DO I EVEN HAVE YOU ON MY PHONE YOU NEVER WORK GAAAAAH *throws iPhone, shrieking*

People who say pi-kahn instead of pee-can: I’m right, you’re wrong.

People who say toos-day while I say tee-yoos-day: Okay, you might be right about this one. Don’t gloat.

Ben & Jerry’s: Bring back Festivus Ice Cream! Doctor Sis would really appreciate it. Seriously, Doritos finally brought back my Wild White Nacho Doritos, but you can’t reproduce a gingerbread ice cream delight?

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP FESTIVUS ICE CREAM IS BACK??? IT’S ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE.

Oh and one last grievance: JFG:  DO. MORE. BLOG. You lazy bum who do you think you are with your silly words and impressive appetite. WRITE. MORE. WORK. MORE. DO. MORE.

Ok, that’s all. Feel ffree to air your grievances in the comments below – to me, about me, or about other people! Let’s hear it. And on that note, let’s get to today’s junk food! Since we ended on Ben and Jerry’s….

Today’s junk food: Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream!!

Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream was spotted waaaaay back in October, and buddy Dubba reviewed it back then too. They even talked about it on the Nosh Show during the episode I couldn’t make. SO WHY DID IT TAKE ME TWO MONTHS TO FIND? I dunno, Ben & Jerry’s – YOU TELL ME.

Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream is basically beer ice cream with caramel and brownies. GIDDYUP LET’S DO IT. I mean, I think that sounds wonderful – making beer into ice cream seems like a completely normal progression for me. A local pizza joint actually does ice cream floats in glasses of dark beer. If I were king of the world, I’d mandate that ALL glasses of beer be served with scoops of ice cream within. Until then – this.

Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream is made for a good cause. Visit that website to find out more (even though I didn’t…)

Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream contains beer and butteroil. A lethal combination.

Upon cracking open this pint of Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream, I got the faint smell of…well, beer! Or to be more accurate, yeast. That yeast-y aroma was unmistakable – anyone who put their nose in a pint before knows the smell I’m talking about. Except, cold and a bit sweet, here.

I could see caramel hiding beneath the surface. Let’s peel back and see….

BOOOOOOM. Whoa, this Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream was LOADED with caramel. I could see a chunk of brownie beneath too.  The light beige beer ice cream looked enticing but I have to admit, it’s the combo that makes me excited. Ok, if I were king of the world, every glass of beer would have a scoop of ice cream AND be drizzled in caramel with brownies floating in it.

Trying some of the ice cream alone, I got the flavor of a yeast-y beer – like an ale that was super sweet. In a lot of ways, it tasted exactly like the Jelly Belly Draft Beer Jellybeans. Here, the ice cream was sweet and milky and then as I swallowed I got that back of beer finish in my mouth – sort of bitter, sort of sour, but totally reminiscent of beer. I loved it.

But eating all of the components of this Ben & Jerry’s New Belgium Salted Caramel Brown-ie Ale Ice Cream together? EPICLY GOOD. The caramel was super smooth (not frozen) and oozed everywhere like a melted Cow Tail.The brownie was soft, not stiff, and came apart in a true brownie fashion – fudge-y and cake-like. The brownie was not super sweet so when paired with the ice cream it gave that really pleasant cake/ice cream stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth sensation. I love that.

Otherwise, the combo was completely straightforward. It’s creamy plus caramel-y plus brownie. Nothing too unfamiliar with the added bonus of beer flavor. Execution was perfect. A REALLY good flavor. Might be one of my favorites in a long time. Go get this. NOW. (Uh, if you like beer. If you don’t….you probably want to get something else.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go Festivus hunting.

ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY, JFG NATION!

PURCHASED AT: Walmart, Germantown, MD

COST: $3.99 (jeez)

PS: Bonus picks for the weekend! Xmas Day NBA games: Miami -5.5, Chicago +8.5, Cleveland +7.0, San Antonio -6.5, Lakers +12.5. NFL Lock of the Week: Pittsburgh -10.0. Upset Special: Redskins +3.0 on Saturday. 

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy