Junk Food Nation, it’s Friday and I AM SO TIRED. Like, exhausted. I’ve mentioned it here before – I typically work out so I can eat the things I do on this blog. Well, I’ve reached one of those days where my entire body feels broken. Broken down. Someone get me a massage.

Anyways, I wanted to mention this article I saw on Sploid/Gizmodo recently – it had a bunch of infographics that showed which parent corporations owned all of the corporate brands we are familiar with. And I KNEW a lot of these, but seeing them all on one simple image was JARRING/AMAZING/FRIGHTENING all at the same time.  Please – GO HERE to see the article and the images.

The main takeaway for me is always that I am shocked which two brands, which I thought were competitors, are actually from the same damn company. Examples:

1. Tombstone Pizza and DiGiorno’s are BOTH owned by Nestle??? You have got to be kidding me. No wonder most of their versions stink – there’s no incentive to get better!

2. San Pellegrino and Perrier, BOTH NESTLE. I enjoy sparkling water, so I have, more than once, been in a debate where I’ve argued, “Oh, Perrier is SOOOO much better than San Pellegrino.” THEY”RE PROBABLY COMING FROM THE SAME TAP. I’m a dope.

3.The same company that owns Slim-Fast ALSO owns Ben & Jerry’s??? *buries head in hands* My life is a lie.

Anyways, look over the charts, and tell me which connections YOU”RE shocked by in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax!!

These Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax have been sitting around my apartment for some time now, and some quick research around the internet reveals that they aren’t necessarily new. Still, cucumber flavored chips?? What the… I’m highly skeptical of these, but I don’t know why. I was highly skeptical of the Lime Cucumber Gatorade, but it turned out to be one of my favorite flavors.

Still it is odd to see the images on this Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax can. Cucumbers, generally, aren’t my favorite vegetable…you cook them and they get all mushy, and they have such a distinct flavor that I usually avoid putting them in my salads because they push the flavor in a specific direction that I typically don’t want. Ever have cucumber in an attempt at a southwestern salad? RUINS IT.

I do like cucumbers in other situations though. Pickled – yum. Dipped in ranch? Why not. But cucumber and vinaigrettes don’t jibe for me, and while I like them on sandwiches…I could do without them.

PS: If these are Stax, why the heck is the Stax logo on the BACK of the can??

Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax contain cucumber powder! I’m down with that. Plus soy sauce, so I’m liking these already… Let’s open the can and…

UM, WHAT IS THAT? I’m imagining these Stax like Pringles, and there’s a plastic tray in here!!! *sneaks look back at the front of the can* Oh, it’s depicted there too.  What the….weird!

Well, I guess the tray helps keep these Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax from getting crushed. Ok.  I smelled the can and got a tiny whiff of cucumber, but mainly I got that generic Pringles/Stax smell – potato air. Plus, these chips were SMALL. They were at least HALF the size of regular Stax, which are already smaller (albeit thicker) than Pringles.

Here’s how you could fit bigger chips – DON”T HAVE THE TRAY.

Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax didn’t look like much. No real visible powder (although I suppose cucumber powder wouldn’t be lime green color or anything), and just a few flecks of…soy? Seaweed?

I popped some of these Green Cucumber Lay’s Stax into my mouth, chewed, and….whoa, surprisingly distinct cucumber flavor!  But…was that a good thing? Cucumbers are generally a veg eaten cold, and their water capacity and mild taste is generally seen as refreshing. And you know what? I definitely got that with these chips.

When I chewed these (I’m trying my best to describe this), I didn’t directly TASTE the cucumber flavor but rather I felt my mouth FILL with cucumber flavor. Like my mouth filled with cucumber air and THEN my tongue tasted it. Does that make sense? I know it doesn’t – but my point is it mimicked the manner by which I had tasted cucumber flavor before.

Once the flavor of the cucumber dissipated, My mouth was left with a nice chip flavor – generally savory with the soy sauce and onion powder helping to round out the flavor. It was sort of like the cucumber flavor melted into a sour cream / onion flavor. Overall crunch, decent – a thicker chip compared to its diameter, which reminded me a lot of American Stax.

I’d give these a thumbs up – decent novelty, good texture, and if you’re actually looking for cucumber flavor: mission accomplished.

PURCHASED AT: Great Wall, Germantown, MD

COST: can’t remember. A couple bucks, I’m sure.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy