Junk Food Nation, two days ago it was Groundhog Day. And while some of you didn’t understand my social network quotations of the movie (“Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today“), some of you did, which made me happy.

Of course, everyone (a few people) waited in anticipation (Google searched it later) to see what prediction Punxsutawney Phil (old groundhog) would make: six more weeks of winter, or an early Spring? And apparently…he saw his shadow, so SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER!  DAMN YOU, GROUNDHOG!

(By the way, the fact that there is a Groundhog.org website is sign we have all clearly lost our minds.)

This year, however, I was surprised to learn that more towns than just Punxsutawney, PA, hold Groundhog ceremonies. Really? It’s that much of a draw, town council? Well, ok but…what the hell, man – what if there’s conflicting evidence?? What about left wing groundhogs vs. right wing groundhogs?? Early Spring or GLOBAL WARMING? WE NEED PEER REVIEW!

At one of these ceremonies in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, the groundhog handler held the furry creature up to mayor’s ear, so that it could whisper the prediction to the elected official. And what did the groundhog do? BITE THE MAYOR, OF COURSE. As he should.

Sun Prairie’s groundhog Jimmy left quite an impression on Monday when he chomped on Mayor Jonathan Freund’s ear. Freund flinched as Jimmy’s handler quickly pulled the animal away, but the mayor calmly proclaimed the groundhog’s prognostication of an early spring.

The mayor learned a valuable lesson from one of his city’s most famous critters — don’t get too close to a groundhog.

Like Chris Rock said, when the tiger riding a bike in a circus mauls someone, he isn’t a crazy tiger, he’s just A TIGER.

The best part of the story? THE MAYOR BOTCHED IT. He proclaimed an early Spring, but later the handlers said the mayor had gotten it wrong and that there would be six more weeks of winter. So what happened?

The city later issued a statement saying only the mayor can translate Jimmy’s prediction.

Eff, are you KIDDING ME? ONLY THE MAYOR can translate the groundhog’s prediction? Who is he, Neo??

Well nice job, Mayor Freund. I’m sure you have a bright future ahead of you with your groundhog whispering skills.

Today’s junk food: KarePax!!

KarePax contacted me to help them promote their new subscription mystery boxes of candy/snacks/comics. And being a lover of all three things, I said GIMME. Here’s the rundown:

KarePax is a subscription-based snack/comic mail-to-your-door company. You can order your KarePax in varying subscription lengths or only get comics themselves – either way you’ll get both local and international snacks and some indie comics to enjoy.

As you can see from the picture above, KarePax sent me one of their boxes so I could see what they were all about. I opened it up, and it was LOADED. Let us unbox this thing.

First up, GOLDEN SWEET CORN! Now THAT’s a name for a snack – straight and to the point. This Asian snack food from the Philippines appears to just be a puffed corn snack. Like Puff’n Corn, perhaps?

I picked out all the US junk food I recognized here. Mallo Cups I’ve enjoyed since I was a kid – like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but no peanut butter, instead PURE SUGAR CREME. Russell Stover Applie Pie Big Bite? How have I not seen this before? Candy Blog gave it decent review – it’s apple pie filling, surrounded in chocolate, with a graham cracker bottom. Sounds awesome – and felt super crumbly.

Hershey’s Candy Cane is a standard white creamy confection with little mint candy bits. I’d probably like this dipped in even more dark chocolate. Finally, Jack Link’s Original Lil’ Chub. How phallic, Jack Link’s. This tiny fat sausage had beef and salt as it’s first two ingredients. Can’t go wrong with that…can you?

Next up, more Asian snack food! Hello Panda is a classic Asian junk food – tiny cookies filled with cream; in this case, strawberry cream. Every Asian kid has eaten these. Hi Chews Fruit Chews are also something I grew up with, and are AMAZING fruit chews. I might’ve been most excited for these in the entire box. Those Marukaka Bubble Gums are also really good – these tiny gumballs are the softest gumball chew I can remember; never made my jaw hurt. Coconut Candy is self explanatory – although I’m personally not a huge fan of coconut hard candy (I enjoy soft coconut textures). Finally, how could you ever leave out Pocky? Like the Hello Panda, this stick cookie, often covered with chocolate, is a staple in Asia.

OMG JAFFA CAKES. Wait…these are called Delicje? Whatever – biscuits topped with orange jelly and dipped in chocolate are Jaffa Cakes. And I’ve reviewed them before, and enjoyed them. “Scrummy orange center.” Hanuta Haselnuss-Schnitte…I’m gonna loosely translate this as “hazelnut sh*t.” That might be rude – this is apparently a “hazelnut sandwich with a thick layer of hazelnut chocolate with tiny chunks of hazelnut throughout and in between two crispy chocolate wafers.” Um, that sounds amazing. Aero is Nestle’s bubbly chocolate bar. I’ve had a bunch of these before, and they are tasty. They have a unique “bubbly” texture that collapses as the bar melts – this green one has peppermint bubbles inside.

Pulparindo is “extra hot salted tamarind pulp candy.” This Latin candy is AWESOME and super bold in flavor. As I said on the Nosh Show – my prediction for 2015 is that more and more snack companies are gonna try to capture what Latin America already has – spicy and sweet on a regular basis. Milkita is milkshake candy, which sounds like something I can get behind. Those gold wrapped candies were Super Natilla, and had the tag line: “Chiclose de leche sabor nuez,” or “Taffy milk nutty flavor.” There was a Mango Gummy, a Kit-Kat-looking Kinder bar, and Bronhi, which I’ve now learned is a toffee with herbs!  COOOL. Finally, that Elise bar was a “banana flavored cake with white cream.” I’m curious to see how this compares to Banana Twinkies?

“Volim Te” means “I love you” in…Bosnian? Whatever – this Zvecevo bar is milk chocolate with strawberry cherry and raspberry. WOW. Zvecevo DOES love me. The description on this Dorina bar is “chocolate with hazelnut and honey.” YES. I fully endorse the mixture of honey and chocolate, something which doesn’t happen enough!

BANANKO – a Croatian chocolate covered banana flavored candy. I’ve had foreign chocolate covered banana snacks before, with mixed results. The packaging on the back says “Chocolate Foam Bar.” O…..k.

And finally, KarePax also sent me two comics – EPOCHALYPSE and THE HUMANS. I might’ve mentioned before on this blog that I was a comic book geek at one point in time. I had to stop because I was spending too much of my time (and paycheck) on comic books. You’ve potentially re-opened Pandora’s box, KarePax. Grrrrrr.

So there you have it – an unboxed Karepax box! All in all, I give it a thumbs up – a bunch of snacks I’m excited to try, good variety, and comics to boot!  Not a bad option for those looking for snacks outside their general comfort zone…or country.

Let me know which snack you’re most interested in in the comments below. Happy Wednesday, Junk Food Nation!

PURCHASED AT: Sent to me, check them out at KarePax.com

COST: Cehck out the plans here.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy