Junk Food Nation, it’s Wednesday. I’ve been knocked out of one of my two fantasy football leagues, and I’m bummed. One team left struggling in the quarterfinals. C’MON DONTE MONCRIEF CATCH SOMETHING THIS WEEK.

TODAY’S TURKEY HILL FREE COUPON WINNER:

The RT contest yesterday was very successful! Today’s random winner is:

Jeni (Babyblues____@______)

Congrats, Jeni!! – email me your contact info to Junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com and I’ll get the free coupon in the mail to you!

TODAY’S WAY TO WIN A FREE 1.5 QT OF TURKEY HILL ICE CREAM:

To win today, I’m doing something different. IT’S STORY TIME. First, let me tell me my story, and then I’ll get to how YOU can win.

I RIPPED MY PANTS:

So I’ve split more pants than I care to admit. I think like most dudes, if you have any muscle in your thigh area, your thighs rub together. A lot. Thinning out the pants in that key crotch-al area. And then, the next thing you know, you bend/squat to grab a sock and RIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP there go your pants.

My most recent pants splitting came while I was in court. And, worst of all, I didn’t even realize it. I had my (former) black suit on, and did everything I normally do – got my case files together, loaded them into my wheelie bag, slipped on my suit jacket, added my overcoat, and headed to court. Got to court, took off my overcoat, took out my files, talked to some witnesses, and sat down at counsel’s table to wait for the judge to appear.  And I’m sitting there, I notice something.  I can feel the fabric of the chair I’m sitting on under one of my legs.  “That’s weird,” I thought, reaching my hand slowly under the table to explore…AND OMG MY PANTS ARE SPLIT AND ONE OF MY BARE ASS THIGHS ARE JUST RESTING ON THE CHAIR ITSELF.  HOLY CRAP.

When did this happen?? I didn’t feel cold air outside while I was walking….Have my pants been split the ENTIRE TIME? Had my thighs rubbed together so much that my pants were like tissue paper, where even the slightest adjustment sent them unraveling? And how BAD was the split? I had no idea, and court was about to begin – no time to run off to the bathroom to analysis my situation. Needless to say, I conducted court as much as possible sitting down when the standing wasn’t necessary. As soon as court ended, I pulled on my overcoat (which went down to about knee level), got my sh*t together, and ran back to the office.

When I was finally able to analyze my pants in the bathroom, it was BAD.  Basically, imagine if someone had taken scissors, cut the pants right where the crotch was, and cut alllllllll the way down to where the back of your knee is. Holy smokes – it was BAD. Like I was wearing chaps. Luckily for me, the rip was on the inside, so in court, when I stood with my legs snapped together like I was a soldier standing at attention, no one could see anything. But wow – I can assure you I spent the rest of my day in my office, door closed. Awesome.

Back to how YOU can win: So that’s MY story, now I want to hear yours! Send me your most embarrassing ripped pants story to Junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com and I’ll pick my FAVORITE one, publish it on the site FRIDAY, and send you a free Turkey Hill ice cream coupon!  So you have TWO DAYS people – get to storytelling and emailing!

TODAY’S JUNK FOOD: Hershey’s Peppermint Bark Bells!

Hershey’s Peppermint Bark Bells! These were reviewed on CandyBlog last year, but I never spotted them for myself until this year. I haven’t jumped at very much holiday themed confection this year, but these? These appeared to be worth my stomach space.

Peppermint Bark is typically a confection made where peppermint-y white confection is layered on top of chocolate, cut into chunky pieces, and sprinkled with candy cane pieces. It’s awesome. Hershey’s Peppermint Bark Bells takes this concept and makes them into bell shapes…with sprinkles inside, instead of candy cane pieces? I dunno about this.

Hershey’s Peppermint Bark Bells have fun foil. When opened I could smell the faint smell of peppermint….time to munch.

It was sort of hard to photograph these Hershey’s Peppermint Bark Bells until I realized that the blurry sprinkles weren’t because of my camera but because they were blurry under the surface of the white confection.

After eating WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many of these, I can say these are pretty damn good. The chocolate base is just that – eaten separately, there is no mint flavor, just good pure Hershey’s milk chocolate. The white confection top (not white chocolate) was very milky – sort of like those candy corn bars – and had a decent minty flavor injected into it. I’m not sure if the mint came more from the white confection itself or from the sprinkles, but the flavor of mint was well represented.

Overall, the combo was nicely balanced, and these bells were overall nice and sweet. In a lot of ways the resultant flavor reminded me of Andes Candies – nice chocolate minty melty stuff.

I loved these. Buy them. Buy them now.

PURCHASED AT: Target, Germantown, MD

COST: $3.00 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy