Junk Food Nation, in case you’re not a baseball fan, I want you to know that the most-recent “richest contract in baseball” has been signed: Giancarlo Stanton, the powerhouse outfielder for the Miami Marlins, just signed a record $325 million dollar deal to play for the Marlins for the next 13 years.

We’ve done this exercise before. I wrote about Clayton Kershaw’s contract. That was quickly topped by Miguel Cabrera’s contract.  And now Stanton, who is set to average less yearly than Kershaw or Cabrera (especially since much of the contract is back loaded), but more overall if the entire contract actually gets paid out.  I’m done discussing the merits / drawbacks for a team giving one player so much money, but SportsGrid had a great article about what this money could buy.  The highlights:

“Marlins’ outfielder Giancarlo Stanton will make $68,449.87 everyday for the next 13 years.”

“The Marlins have agreed to pay Stanton the annual GDP of Romania over the course of his baseball career.”

“Stanton will accumulate more wealth on a yearly basis than Nicaragua does.”

“On his 38th birthday, Stanton could theoretically stack one dollar bills to the height of Mt. Everest, and still have three quarters of his wealth left.”

The rest of the article here.  So yeah – wow. I mean, we all think of what we’d do with this type of money if it was won through the Powerball or Mega Millions.  But 68 grand a day??? I mean, I’d certainly be buying Chipotle more often.

What would you do with 68 grand a day? Forget the $300+ million amount – no answers like buy a sports franchise, etc.  And no answers we’d all give – pay debt, buy dream home, philanthropy, etc. I wanna focus on the 68 grand A DAY thing. What’s something ABSOLUTELY FRIVOLOUS that you’d do with 68 grand in ONE DAY? Me: I’d like to go to a Chipotle here in Gallery Place DC, lay down 68 grand, and buy 8500 burritos, giving them away to anyone and everyone. Ok, so this is somewhat of a charitable idea. But whatever – the point is I wanna see how far Chipotle gets on 8500 burritos before they run out of ingredients!  I WANT TO ENTIRELY EMPTY A CHIPOTLE. Frivolous and delicious.

You? Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches!

Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches are just one of three Seasonal Favorites put out by Lance this holiday season.  There’s also Chocolate Mint:

I didn’t buy these because I feel like I’ve had something like this before, and not just the Oreo version. Meh. Lance also has a Sugar Cookie version:

I’m sure these are good, but again – didn’t jump out at me.  Instead, I bought the Pumpkin Cheesecake version because I wanted to see how close/how far Lance was to the mark:

Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches!  Apparently, Lance believes that pumpkin flavor can still extend into the winter, AND I CONCUR. Let’s do this – pumpkin doesn’t end with Halloween!  Pumpkin is universal! Pumpkin is ubiquitous! PUMPKIN RULES US ALL.

Loving the ingredients in these Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches: actual cream cheese and pumpkin powder.  And those are listed AHEAD of “natural and artificial flavors.” Good for you, Lance.

Like other Lance products, these Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches come in small individually wrapped cellophane packages of six.  I still don’t understand peanut butter on cheese crackers BUT WHATEVER.

Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches didn’t stick together as well as Oreos – as soon as I opened up the package and a couple cookies slid out, I went to pick one up and only the top came with my fingers!  It looked like this:

Individually, the cookies/crackers in these Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches themselves taste just like Animal Crackers – that white flour cookie with a bit of sweetness.  These were light and crunchy, and had an additional cinnamon-y / spice flavor.

I tasted the filling by itself, and liked it – cream cheese-y and had some pumpkin flavor.  Nothing bold stood out to me.

Eaten as a sandwich cookie altogether, however, these Lance Limited Edition Seasonal Favorites Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookie Sandwiches were PRETTY DAMN GOOD, I must say. Weird – the individual components didn’t wow me, but together it was almost as if a new flavor emerged! I’m not going to start comparing them to Oreos, etc., but all I wanted from these cookie sandwiches is for them to taste like pumpkin cheesecake, and these definitely did.

The filling was the key – it not only was full of great pumpkin spice flavor (it hit all the right notes – the pumpkin, the nutmeg, the cinnamon, etc.), but it also had that perfect tangy cream cheese / cheesecake flavor that was somehow accentuated by the additional spice profile in the cookies. The resultant flavor was spot on. Chewed with the cookies, it tasted like I was munching cheesecake – when the flavors mixed together, it replicated the flavor of pumpkin cheesecake in an entirely different texture / vehicle.

Bizarre. I loved these. Nice work, Lance!

PURCHASED AT: Giant Food, Germantown, MD

COST: $2.50 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy