Junk Food Nation, two news stories today – which one MORE QUICKLY prompts you to say, WTF?

1. “A Delaware mother was arrested after her 4-year-old daughter brought over 200 bags of heroin to school and passed them out to other children at a local daycare, thinking they were candy, police say.” – so in this news story, this 4-year-old was passing out these little bags at recess containing a white powdery substance. Thankfully, the teachers spotted them, took them away, and called the police. I’m not gonna bother with your typically drug commentary; some other takeaways: 1) What candy does a white bag of powder look like? Fun dip?  2) I’m no drug dealer, but I imagine 200 bags of heroin nets a pretty penny. You’d think you’d keep this in a safer place where kids can’t reach it, right? Like…a safe?

OR:

2. “A West Virginia community is outraged after a high school yearbook named two teens, one of them a special needs student, ‘Most Likely to Disappear.'” – in this news story, a high school yearbook, in its Senior Superlatives section, decided to be wacky and pull this ish.  I remember Senior Superlatives in high school – I didn’t mind them, but I was clearly aware they were just another form of social BS. Getting voted “Best Athlete” or “Top Student” or whatever was fun for the moment, but once college started no one cared.  Still, “Most Likely To Disappear”? Who the hell thought THAT was a good category?  “Oh yeah, Judith, let’s slide that one right next to ‘Class Whore’ and ‘Smelly Kids!’ Don’t forget to keep that exclamation point at the end of ‘Smelly Kids!'”

So which story makes you say WTF more?  You’d think I’d pick the Senior Superlatives story, but you’d be wrong. The reason? I’m not surprised, because high school kids are awful to each other.  I know this already. But the drug story? If you were a drug dealer, HOW do you not notice that TWO HUNDRED BAGS of your product are gone?  I freak the eff out when I can’t find the where I put the pen I JUST USED (WHERE IS IT). But a pile a drugs that can sell for hundreds and hundreds of dollars??  That ish wouldn’t leave my sight.

Tell me what story affected you more, and why, in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies!

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: The Money Shot

I bought these Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies back when I bought the Molten Fudge Cake cookies, and only remembered that they were stuck in the back of my fridge.  So that should say something about how often I clean out my fridge. Gross.  Thankfully, these hadn’t expired yet…even if they’ve been out in stores since the beginning of the summer.

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: Crazy looking dough boy

In an effort to make the Pillsbury Dough Boy more 3-D on this package of Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies, they’ve made him look crazy. What’s with the slight bags under the eyes of the Dough Boy? Why does he look like a strung out exhausted drug addict? Or like a Dough Boy that’s been up for 94 hours straight squeezing fudge onto cookies? LET HIM REST.

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: 150 per cookie – wow

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: The unbaked goods!

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies, unbaked, looked like nine tan charcoal briquettes. Smelled good, though – nice cookie dough aroma.

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: bad camera

I have no idea why this photo looks like its bathed in a yellow spotlight, but I’m sure its something to do with photography and light and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: AFTER

After baking these Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies, the briquettes only flattened out slightly.  Still, they were SUPER soft – the one on the right I tried to lift prematurely and it shattered in my fingers. Oops.

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: CHOCOLATE IT UP

These Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies looked even better once I dumped the entire packet of chocolate fudge sauce on top.  The dark chocolate sauce pooled nicely and hardened.  I even chocolate-d the shattered one to the very right.

Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies: Yummers

I popped one of these Pillsbury Melts S’mores Sensations Filled Cookies and it was HOT.  Note: Don’t pop these right into your mouth; let them cool first.  These tasted, predictably, AWESOME.  Sweet chocolate chip cookie outside that is covered in additional chocolate, and a pretty decent marshmallow-y inside that was sweet and had plenty of marshmallow flavor.  What’s not to like?  When I pulled these cookie apart, the inside marshmallow even gave me that satisfying stretched-out-marshmallow-feel.  So good.

The only downside?  No graham flavor – these aren’t TRULY evocative of S’mores…but whatever.  These are just a nice sweet cookie that does a good job communicating chocolate and marshmallow flavor.  Pretty simple to understand and easy to make.

PURCHASED AT: Safeway

COST: $2.00 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy