Junk Food Nation, apparently last night was the ESPYs – ESPN’s “Sports Award Show.” For the uninformed, its a full-on ESPN production, complete with red carpets, paparazzi, and tuxedos/dresses. And this year it was hosted by Drake (BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE).

They give out awards like “Best Upset” and “Best Play” and “Best NBA Player.” Wait, don’t they already have an award for that in real life? Which is my general cynical problem with this awards show – while there are always some great moments, e.g. The Jimmy V Perseverance Award and the Arthur Ashe Award, it is weird to watch an awards show when the sports themselves have awards…they’re called the Super Bowl Trophy and the World Series Ring, etc. Most of the time, these awards overlap – last night the best MLB player award went to Miguel Cabrera. Hey, he also won the MLB MVP award too! How ’bout that.

So you can see why the ESPYs always struck me as odd  (especially when hosted by Drake) – a somewhat subjective awards show just to give the athletes a chance to walk a red carpet. In a competitive job, we’re giving awards outside of the competition itself? Oh, okay. To make it more Oscar-night-ish, each nominee got a gift bag, full of perks like gift cards for a free Vitamix, SodaStream, and a P90x3 complete series. Where’s the keys to the free Benz? Oh right, these athletes already own one of those. But for SURE they don’t have a Vitamix yet!

Anyways, I didn’t watch them, and it made me wonder if ANYONE watches the ESPYs? I mean, things like the Home Run Derby and the Slam Dunk Contest – while curmudgeons like me might sometimes pass them by, kids LOVE IT. So I get those. But do kids want to watch a three hour hour show where people give speeches? I dunno, maybe?

And IF no one watches the ESPYs (and please, someone correct me if the numbers are strong and I’m WAY off), then what could possibly rank lower in terms of viewership? And I’m talking things which are televised and promoted but still fall short (so no lumberjack competitions on ESPN Ocho). I have to believe the NHL Draft is down there. I mean, does anyone even know when the NHL Draft is?  (I realize I’m giving hockey no love here, but c’mon…the NHL Draft?)  Or maybe, like, the NBA Draft Combine.

Does anyone else have an opinion on the ESPYs? Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Ritz Custard Sandwich!

Ritz Custard Sandwich: The Money Shot

Ritz Custard Sandwich! Wait, what? Yes, it’s another Asian junk food product. I got this at a new Asian grocery store that opened near me called Great Wall. Custard Sandwich, huh? I mean, Ritz has come out with a LOT of sandwich crackers in the past – ones filled with cheese, ones filled with peanut butter, even a S’mores variety at one point. But custard?? I had to try these.

Ritz Custard Sandwich: Fravor

Oh no…the ingredients on this Ritz Custard Sandwich include “artificial fravor.” Oh Ritz Japan. *shakes head* Way to push the stereotype. I’ll just leave this here:

Ritz Custard Sandwich: Individual sleeves

Ritz Custard Sandwich crackers came in two sleeves…from the photo, the filling looks like an EXTREMELY bright yellow. A bit disconcerting.

Ritz Custard Sandwich: Like an Oreo

Ritz Custard Sandwiches were like Oreos – two Ritz crackers with a layer of creme inside.  The creme wasn’t as yellow as advertised, and it was a thin layer – even thinner than standard Oreos.  The Ritz crackers themselves looked standard, maybe with a little less salt sprinkled on them than usual.

I tasted the creme by itself, and it indeed tasted custard-y – sort of like the filling of a cheese danish or a custard pie. Maybe a bit more buttery than those, even. In any case, tasted good.

Ritz Custard Sandwich: Consistency like Oreo Creme

The creme of the Ritz Custard Sandwich was like an Oreo creme, with a little less grittiness.  Eaten with the Ritz crackers, the combo tasted great – sort of a saltier version of a vanilla wafer cracker (like this).  Like a sweet and salty custard pie where the crust was all Ritz crackers.  Like a extra crispy and flaky flaky cheese danish. I’m using repeated descriptors here, I realize.  But if you’ve had ANY of those items before, you know what these taste like.

The Ritz crackers tasted the same as always – buttery, slightly salty, just damn good.  And the creme was only sort of sweet, not cloying. Very good salty/sweet/buttery balance.  Yummy.

All in all, I REALLY liked these – I sometime forget how good Ritz crackers are.  I never buy them because I can munch a sleeve in ten minutes. I munched the short sleeve of these Ritz Custard Sandwich in seven. Go fig.

PURCHASED AT: Great Wall

COST: $3.00

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy