Junk Food Nation, it’s a Friday Friday. Thank goodness…this has been a very VERY long week. I’ve been staying up to watch basketball (alas, my Wiz), I’ve been cranking out the biz at work, and prepping for all sorts of personal events at the same time trying to keep this blog afloat.  Thanks for bearing with me, Nation! And while you’re here, don’t forget to enter my Peanut Butter & Co. Bee’s Knees contest. Details here.

Meanwhile, did you hear the story about the Florida gym teacher who was stealing cash from students’ lockers?  Oh, it’s a doozy – apparently kids in Volusia County were complaining that money was being taken from their lockers, so the local sheriff’s department did a sting operation. They gave a student a wallet with some dummy cash laced with UV-detectable powder. The kid left it out, like leaving a carrot under a box propped up by a stick. Once he saw it was gone, he told the authorities, and then:

“The school resource deputy along with a school administrator immediately locked down the gym and had the students go in pairs under an ultraviolet light, according to the sheriff’s office.”

Apparently once all the students were found without glowing fingers, they did the teachers and BAM! This idiot was caught. Read more about it here, but wow. A few thoughts:

1) Florida.

2) They baited this guy with a wallet full of $140+ dollars. He didn’t suspect anything? When the hell does a kid have $140 in their wallet??  I have a good job, and *I* don’t have $140 in my wallet!  Who carries that much cash? Doesn’t everyone just use Bitcoins now anyways?

3) This guy stole almost $950 in cash over several weeks out of kids’ lockers? Bold, dude. I *guess* we should be thankful he wasn’t doing something more gross…that we know of.  That brings me to my next point:

4) Florida? Yep, Florida.

5) Fun fact: Alex of Alex & Sierra (X-Factor Season 3 Champs) went to this high school. Well, fun fact for ME.  Whatever.

6) FLUUURIDA.

What do you think, JFN? Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: J&D Foods It’s All Gravy seasoning!

That’s right, the creators of Bacon Salt – you know, the powder that you put on any food to make it taste like bacon – have another new product.  This time, it’s called It’s All Gravy, and the long and short of it is it’s a powder that you sprinkle on food that makes whatever you’re eating taste like it has gravy on it.

Here is the press release: “J&D’s It’s All Gravy!™  The Gravy Flavored Seasoning.  It’s All Gravy! seasoning comes in Brown Gravy and Sausage Gravy flavors and is designed for use on anything that tastes better with Gravy – which is everything!  With only 5 calories and zero fat per serving it puts the guilt-free power of everyone’s favorite unhealthy condiment in the palm of your hands.  It’s All Gravy!  The next level of meat-flavored condiments is finally here.  Try it on fries, mashed potatoes, tots, grits, veggies, rice, roasted or grilled meats and more.  This changes everything.”

Here’s what I’ll say – if this tastes good, this COULD change everything. My inner fat kid LOVES gravy. Hell, my outer fat man also loves gravy.  5 calories a serving??  Sort of scary, in a good way.

J&D’s Foods says: “If you want to live in a world where everything can, will and should taste like Gravy, now is your chance.” Oh, I do! I DO!  

I opened up these two tubes, and there was the gravy seasoning!  Brown gravy on the left, sausage gravy on the right.  Sniffing both of them, I must say I did get the faint hint of gravy. Now, honestly, I was afraid to sniff too hard since these are fine powders.

So these gravy seasonings can go on any food.  I decided to test these on the same thing I tested Bacon Salt on – a fried egg.

So here we have it.  J&D’s Foods It’s All Gravy seasonings and two fried eggs, cooked in horrible fashion, per my destructive and amateur cooking style.  Let’s try the Brown gravy first:

The look of this J&D’s Foods It’s All Gravy Brown gravy seasoning was interesting.  Well, it’s not brown, for one thing.  However, one taste and I was sold. Basically, as soon as the powder hit my saliva, I tasted BROWN GRAVY.  This powder contained all the meaty/onion-y notes that I associated with brown gravy. It wasn’t spicy, wasn’t peppery, just a nice deep flavor that complemented my eggs well.  Did it make my eggs taste like they had gravy on them? In a sense, yes!  There obviously wasn’t the lush thick sauce-like feeling, but I actually think the flavor was pretty spot on .

Next: Sausage gravy!

If it’s possible, I liked this J&D’s Foods It’s All Gravy Sausage Gravy seasoning even better.  For those who have eaten sausage gravy, you know that sausage gravy is more like a white gravy made essentially with flour and fat.  The result is a thick white paste that doesn’t have (to me) much actual “flavor” except for the black pepper spice and the general savory-fatty-cooked-flour-roux-flavor. Then usually the sausage bits themselves have flavor.

This powder, a little bit lighter in color, accomplished all that!  The powder, in my mind, added a general roux-like flavor to the eggs – didn’t any acute flavor, just added a general creamy savoriness to it. But on top of that was the spice – I recognized pepper and salt, which helped frame the gravy flavor, but them could also taste the sage and fennel which reminded me of breakfast sausage!  Not sure if I tasted ACTUAL sausage – not sure if there was any bouillon in this – but the general flavors were there. Like the brown gravy, there is no gravy feel – but I was shocked how close the flavors were in this seasoning.

I wanted to dump a whole canister of this J&D’s Foods It’s All Gravy gravy seasoning down my throat, but decided to spread it out among ALL my food.

If you get a chance to try this, do it.  I need to have this on meat, very very soon.

PURCHASED AT: Well, sent to me, but you can get it online in a 2-pack here.

COST: $9.99 for the two-pack

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy