Junk Food Nation!  Happy Thursday.

1) Today starts (it’s already started) THE MASTERS. For any golf fans out there, LIVE IT UP FOR THE NEXT FOUR DAYS.  But hush – you’re gonna distract the golfers.

Me? I like the Masters.  It is a very pretty tournament to watch – the grass is greener at Augusta than anywhere else on the planet. During the year, I’m a fairly lukewarm golf fan, but like most, when the big tournaments come up, I can certainly dig in with a box of Cheez-Its and sit and watch endless putting all day.  ALL DAY.  I dunno, for some it’s boring, but I find it eerily relaxing. Maybe I’m old, but watching golf is like watching a really really slow race. Slow but ultimately gratifying.  (I feel like describing the Masters as a slow race isn’t winning many people over.  It’s fun! I promise!)

Tiger Woods is not playing due to surgery. So it’s a wide open field!  Who do you have to win? It’s never one of the favorites, so I personally eliminate Adam Scott and Rory McIlroy right off the bat. I think Matt Kuchar, who came very close last year, takes the jacket this year. CMON KUCH!

2) Quick gross old lady story.  And no, this is not a story meant to INSULT old ladies generally. No, this just happens to be a gross story that involves an old lady. *Warning: If you’re eating, you might want to stop* *Seriously, stop* *I warned you…*

So two days ago, I needed to take the subway for work one stop to a hub where I’d be switching to another rail line.  So, I hopped onto the train, and stayed near the doors since I knew I’d be getting off in approx. 30 seconds.  As the train pulled away from the station, I stood there absentmindedly, listening to the random chatter around me.  Then I heard something – something that sounded like water being dumped on the ground.  I looked to my left where the sound was coming from – AND THE OLD LADY RIGHT NEXT TO ME WAS LOSING HER LUNCH. RIGHT. NEXT. TO. ME.

It. Was. Horrifying.  This old lady was standing there, puking. ALL OVER THE GROUND. Normally I am a compassionate soul, and others were, rushing to ask if she was ok, offering her a seat, etc.  Me? I’m ashamed to say I was SCREAMING inside my head, and as soon as the doors opened at the next station, I *bolted* off.  Does this make me a bad person? It’s ok, I know I am. Sigh.

BUT WTF.  It was one of the most jarring things I’ve witnessed in recent memory.  When I looked left, I was FACING her – I SAW IT HAPPEN.  Good Lord, someone give me something to scrub my brain of the image.

What would YOU have done, Nation? Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips!

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips: The Money Shot

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips!  Wait didn’t I just review these a couple of weeks ago, when I reviewed the Hint of Olive Oil Veggie Pop Chips?  Same look to the bag….same font….I’m suspicious.  How different IS Tuscan Herb from Hint of Olive Oil?

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips

Ok, so the back of these New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips is VIRTUALLY IDENTICAL to it’s Hint of Olive Oil counterpart… SUSPICION. AMPLIFIED.

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips: 120 cal per serving

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips: LOTS OF VEGGIES

The ONLY difference between these New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips and it’s Hint of Olive Oil brother is instead of “olive oil, natural flavors” these have “spice extract.” WHAT!?

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips: Still colorful

Hey, you know what New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips? YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE HINT OF OLIVE OIL CHIPS. YOU SMELL LIKE OLIVE OIL.  WTF.

New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips: close up

I popped a bunch of these New Tuscan Herb Veggie Pop Chips into my mouth and…OMG they taste exactly the same. EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE HINT OF OLIVE OIL VEGGIE POP CHIPS.

Let me back up, and try to be fair – it has been a couple weeks since I ate the Hint of Olive Oil chips, so side by side these MIGHT be different.  Maybe there’s a slight flavor profile distinction that I’m missing.  But sitting here, eating these chips, and reading my former description:

“They were light like Pop Chips, and just as starchy. They had a slight potato flavor; however, there was no confusion to me that these were vegetable chips as there were definitely other elements/flavors going on. The different colors didn’t really affect the flavor…immediately I could tell these were WAY better than your average veggie chip.

“And the hint of olive oil? VERY good.  It was a simple taste of flavorful olive oil and salt – that’s it.  Nothing too freaky, nothing too complex – in this case, the simple flavor was a good one.  This flavor layered on top of the veggie chips was perfect. The aftertaste I got after eating the entire bag of these was, IMO, awesome – just a nice leftover taste of olive oil and salt.  Just like after clearing a basket of bread at a restaurant.   Savory, salty, and starchy – a perfect combination.”

Yep, pretty much.  I mean, did these NOT taste like Olive Oil? Maybe not as much as the other variety…but otherwise, I truly believe these chips tasted almost exactly the same.  There’s nothing I can definitively say was different.

Sigh.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart

COST: $2.50

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy