Junk Food Nation, it’s almost 2:00pm, I know.  Today has been filled with ups, downs, some slight lung poisoning, and general gluttony.  Let’s recap:

6:30am: Wake up, remember that the Yankees won last night, and see that they are only 2.5 games back in the Wild Card.  WOOT.  See that Girardi has demoted Phil Hughes to the bullpen.  DOUBLE WOOT.

6:55am: While reading CNN, see that Ariel Castro, the guy that kidnapped those three women, hung himself in jail.  HOLY SH*T.  That’s uber f*cked up.  It’s just something you don’t really see much anymore, you know?  People shot, people stabbed, limbs being blown off – not that I’m ok with it, but that’s something you see on the news or in movies all the time.  If I actually walked into a room and there was someone hanging from the ceiling?  I WOULD FLIP. THE. EFF.  OUT.

8:00am: Arrive at work to hundreds of people waiting outside.  What’s going on? Oh, just a gas leak in the building.  That’s ok, I have Twitter.

9:00am: We are finally let into the building after it’s been cleared by the Fire Department….YET EVERYTHING STILL SMELLS LIKE GAS.  Not “sort of”, not like when you’re filling your gas tank and you catch a whiff, and you’re like, “is that gas? Or my imagination?” NOPE – my office felt like the inside of a propane tank, and I was hoping the sparks from my ancient government computer wouldn’t set the whole place off like a tinder box.

10:00am: The workers riot, finally, everyone is allowed to go home to telecommute or work off site.  I’m both happy (since at this point, I feel high as a kite) and sort of pissed (because I actually have sh*t to do!).  Still, I fire off another hours worth of work emails, and pack up my bag in the hazy, rainbow colored air of my office. I’m off to the grocery store, before heading home.

12:10pm: By the time I get home, I am shaking like Polaroid picture.  Apparently, my morning smoothie and NO FOOD FOR THE NEXT FIVE AND A HALF HOURS means my blood sugar is WAAAY low.  Doesn’t help that my stomach only contains gasoline fumes too.  I make a hot lunch, feeding myself with the end of a spatula.

12:45pm: I remember that I forgot to add players off the Waiver Wire in my Clout Wars fantasy baseball league by noon.  EFF.  There goes my battle for 7th place. I SUCK.

1:20pm: Post-food haze, I think the gas has worn off my brain, when I remember: I’M THE JUNK FOOD GUY!  Time to blog!

PS: BIG SHOUT OUT THANK YOU to Kim N., who not only fixed the way my blog posts looked, but somehow made my site run faster than it has in a while (knocking on wood).  Thanks to everyone else who offered to help!

Today’s junk food: Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate!

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate: The Money Shot

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate is everywhere now; it was given to me was given to me a while back during the 2012 DC Metro Cooking Show, but I recently spotted it at Target.  Coming off of the Chips Ahoy Brownie Cookies, I was eager to munch of this chocolate bar.

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate: Ugh, nuts

While I’m sure this Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate tastes great, I don’t love the picture, mainly because I am NOT a brownie-with-nuts fan.  Whenever I get a brownie that has nuts on it, I’m always like WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN THIS WITH WALNUTS??  Lame.

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate: 550 cal for the whole bar

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate: NICE TO SWEET YOU!

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate came standard, wrapped in thin foil…unwrap the foil and…

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate: My name is Slim Shady

You get to see the nicely segmented ten squares of this Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate. The smell of the chocolate was immediate – nice and cocoa-y. Definitely smelled sweet; this was clearly milk chocolate.

Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate: OOEY GOOEY

I bit into one of the squares of this Lindt Hello My Name is Caramel Brownie Chocolate, and chewed.  Really sweet, the initial taste was of the classic Lindt milk chocolate.  It was creamy, sweet, and had plenty of milk chocolate flavor.  The chocolate itself was soft, and did melt a bit in my fingers (palm oil).  Still, I can’t knock it – good overall chocolate.

The caramel insides were definitely noticeable in flavor, with nice burnt sugar taste, and plenty of ooey gooey that smeared my tongue.  Biting into the chocolate square, I was able to do a TINY bit of pull and stretch – but only slightly.  The insides were more like a caramel gel, rather than a stiffer taffy-like substance.

The brownie flavor? I must admit, I got it – there were tiny crunchy bits throughout the chocolate that weren’t immediately visible, but sort of tasted like the cookies in cookies-n-creme-anything.  While at first I thought this bar was more appropriately called a caramel cookies and creme chocolate bar, the more I chewed, the more I DID get a brownie-like flavor.  The crunchy cookies bits reminded me more of a brownie brittle edges…and so when eaten as a whole, I did get a caramel brownie taste.

All in all, pretty good job by Lindt.  I’m not a HUGE chocolate fan, so I’m not rushing out to buy this, but for those of you who are chocolate fans, this was enjoyable.

PURCHASED AT: Gift from Lindt themselves, but you can buy it at Lindt online

COST: $5.00

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy