Review: Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes & That’s What You Get, Aaron Rodgers
Junk Food Nation, originally I was going to write a post about the recent revelation that Anthony Weiner, the current NYC mayoral candidate, is AGAIN in the news for even MORE inappropriate photo-sending to females…even AFTER this same type of incident ruined his tenure with the House of Representatives. But this post on Jezebel hit everything I wanted to say on the subject, so go visit it here. (But seriously, Weiner…it’s the internet. You’re a moron. How do you NOT know this stuff will come out? Good gracious, man.)
No, instead I wanted to take this moment to not only (admittedly) pile on to the Ryan Braun situation, but also to pile on Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers, who I actually like and think is the best QB in the league, is also kind of an idiot. Back when the Ryan Braun news first last year, Braun managed to dupe other popular athletes, like fellow state hero Aaron Rodgers, into coming to his defense. Rodgers even tweeted at the time: “MLB and cable sports tried to sully the reputation of an innocent man. Picked the wrong guy to mess with. Truth will set you free.”
Rodgers accused others of tainting the truth, when he didn’t know the truth himself. But what is ALSO amazing is that he had an exchange with a Twitter user, @ToddSutton, and bet his salary that Braun didn’t take PEDs. See articles about this here and here. See the original tweets here and here. I personally like how he told Todd to #ponyup and #exonerated. Rodgers, don’t use words you don’t understand.
Now, look, it’s true – and I had to be reminded of this by a lawyer friend of mine – technically, we don’t know WHAT Braun did. He is taking a deal, but for the current moment, no details of what actually happened or “what mistakes he made” are actually clear. So we actually DON’T know whether Braun did PEDs…(yet).
But the point is this, Aaron Rodgers. Braun made the mistake of thinking he was invincible because he was a stud baseball player. And you, Rodgers, made the mistake, like so many, of thinking you were a lawyer. Say things like, “I support him 100%” or “Please don’t make any conclusions until the process is complete” or “I like throwing footballs and losing in the playoffs because the Packers have no running game.” Don’t say things like “The truth will set you free.” You’re not a priest or Gloria Steinem. Remember that.
Today’s junk food: Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes!
Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes: The Money Shot
Arnott’s Shapes are a line of crackers that have been my White Whale for some time now. When I first started this blog, I got a few emails here and there which said, “You’ve got to try the Arnott’s line of snacks, Junk Food Guy!” Well, I would love to, BUT I DON’T LIVE IN AUSTRALIA, which is apparently the only place you can find these! Booooooo.
Ever since then, I’ve been jonesing to try some of these crackers! I did a “Junk Food Guy Seeking” post on it almost two years ago! I even brought it up recently on Episode 5 of the Nosh Show that I NEEDED someone in the US to sell these Shapes.
Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes: WAIT, WHERE??
But now I have some! Thanks to Actor Sis and her wonderful friend Melissa, who was recently in her homeland of Australia and ventured to grab me some nibbles, I NOW HAVE A COUPLE OF BOXES OF ARNOTT’S SHAPES! And I cannot TELL you how excited I am to review this first flavor, Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes. “Flavour you can see!” Um, ok. All I see is some salt sprinkle, but whatever! I’m just happy the box is in my hand.
Now, some might say “Shapes” is a dumb name for a cracker. And to them I say, SHUT IT.
Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes: Chicken? Not Chicken powder, oil, fat…just Chicken?
What the heck is Chicken Crimpy? In an amazing turn of events, Google has NO DEFINITION for this phrase. Kinda makes me scared, Arnott’s. What are you getting me into?
PS: One of the ingredients is just “Chicken”… not chicken flavoring, base, chicken fat, nada. Just Chicken. Wow.
Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes: PROMO!
Once again, another country is showing us how flavors (or flavours) should be DONE. Arnott’s has crackers that are Honey Soy Chicken flavored, Crispy Bacon and Sour Cream flavored, and even just a general “Savoury” flavor! And of course, Chicken Crimpy.
Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes: Beautiful crackers
I gotta hand it to Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes – they are pretty crackers. I give crackers like Ritz and these a lot of credit – having a nice, eatable shape is sooo key to a good snack. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Cheez-Its and Better Cheddars and Wheat Thins…but a general square or effed-up circle shape isn’t hard, and it’s not pretty. When you dump out a pile of Triscuits, it sort of looks like sawdust and old wood (and I LOVE Triscuits). These…these were pretty.
Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes: BISKIT!
I munched, and smiled. Let me tell you, Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes were all I wanted, and more.
For those who know, these were basically Australia’s version of our US cracker, Chicken in a Biskit crackers. Those lovely, chicken-y, savory crackers from my childhood.
These Arnott’s Chicken Crimpy Shapes were a LITTLE different though…for one, unlike Chicken in a Biskit, which are buttery, flaky crackers, these were firmer. More crunch. Less buttery. They were still light crackers but weren’t as flaky – nothing like the Ritz-like Chicken in a Biskit.
Flavor wise, these were very much like Chicken in a Biskit – savory, slightly salty, and with a nice chicken-y flavor. Despite me NOT being able to “see the flavor,” this cracker was much more potent in chicken flavor. I dunno if it was more chicken bouillion flavor or if there was just more powder…but these were bursting with flavor. Nice onion and garlic tones to round out the chicken stock-like taste. Were there bits of dehydrated pureed chicken powder on these crackers? One can only hope.
All in all, GREAT CRACKERS. Makes me want to run out and buy some more Chicken in a Biskit, too. Thanks Actor Sis and Melissa!
PURCHASED AT: AUSTRALIA, DOWN UNDA!
COST: no clue
Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.
Sincerely, Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 34 Comments
Oh, come on. It must’ve been quite the challenge typing up this post from your high horse.
Rodgers is/was really close with Braun, the other high-profile professional athlete in Milwaukee sports. To say that Rodgers is an idiot because he was duped by his friend is a bit much. Not quite the same, but is every person who wants to and does believe their drug-abusing friend about their non-use of illicit drugs (different in the context of something like addictive narcotics, I know, but still) also an idiot?
Rodgers was emotionally involved and was ready to have the back of his buddy once his buddy assured him that he was innocent of the drug use allegations. Too quick to make such bold statements when all he had were self-serving statements from Braun in the face of a seemingly credible failed drug test? Sure. Naive to believe Braun? OK. But I also don’t think he was idiotic or trying to be a lawyer by saying “the truth will set you free” or “exonerated.” Just because Rodgers is a football player doesn’t mean he can’t make assertions or use multisyllabic words. He went to Cal, after all.
And as far as the bet, Braun WAS cleared of the failed drug test last year. On procedural grounds, sure, but the procedures are what make the testing credible. If you’re going to get technical about it, that was the bet – that there wasn’t credible proof (i.e., Rodgers really didn’t believe Braun used PEDs in 2011). The “bet” happened in February 2012, relating to the 2011 season. Kinda looking past what Rodgers was “betting” on if you equate a drug suspension in the 2013 season, for whatever it is that Braun admitted to in relation to Biogenesis, which, according to wikipedia, only became a place in 2012, with the bet about Braun’s PED use in 2011. Now, all that said, clearly Braun is a cheater and has been since at least 2011, and probably before. And, yes, Rodgers should’ve kept his idiot pro athlete mouth shut instead of making his baseless assertions of Braun’s innocence and challenging randos on Twitter to bets for his salary.
But, seriously, what do you mean you “think” Rodgers is the best QB in the league? I believe you’re confusing “think” with “know.”
@Corey: You’d make a great lawyer
Hey Rodgers…Discount Double Jeopardy!
@Kahn: +1
I too would like to know what a Chicken Crimpy is. But moreso in the context of the fact that Arnott’s sells a biscuit with “Chicken Drumstick” flavour. So OK Arnott’s. What is a chicken crimpy and WHAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT FROM A CHICKEN DRUMSTICK? Like, is it *part* of a chicken that *is* crimpy (it’s whatever’s inside popcorn chicken, isn’t it? You sick freaks…) or is it a failed slang for a foodstuff that you attempted to invent but which didn’t catch on, so now you’re the only one saying the word crimpy like it has any goddamn meaning? What is it? I must know.
@Shorneys: I am somehow envisioning crimpy to revealed to be the taint of the chicken. Ick.
My first hit on “chicken crimpy” was a “the chicken crimpy made me do it” t-shirt. I don’t know what to make of that.
Some of these flavors look…challenging. Shapes Roadies Tangy BBQ Ribs. Shapes Roadies Seasoned Roast Chicken. Shapes Sizzling Summer Flame-grilled Steak & Onion. Shapes Sensations Cheddar & Peppercorn. Cheddar and pepper? Wha?
Then I found something about “DJ Chicken Crimpy” and, well, I have to not be on the internet now.
@Dana: LOL, I just love that a snack is called Roadies
Stick to poorly written food reviews and leave the sports talk to those who aren’t clueless.
@Brad: But then who would write the clueless poorly written sports talk? Darren Rovell?
I’m no genius when it comes to sports, PED’s or the like. I do, however, really like the Packers (thanks to marrying into a family of Wisconsin-born fanatics) and I am a supporter of Rodgers. It may have been a silly mistake to make any comments regarding Braun, but I will say this – if I have a close relationship with a friend, and they tell me they are innocent, I will support them… until they tell me that they lied.
Perhaps he went too far in speaking publicly, but I don’t think we should fault Aaron for showing support for his friend when he believe he was being honest.
Just my thoughts. Still love your blog!
@Heidi: Thanks for the comment! Yeah, and clearly I’m being overly harsh on Rodgers. Yours and Corey’s points are correct – since they were close friends, it makes more sense. I’m certainly a big supporter to my friends and family too, so I’m not totally heartless 😉 I still would’ve pumped the breaks on betting my salary though, lol!
And hey, as an aside, I was rooting for the Pack when they lost to Denver! Stupid John Elway and his helicopter leap….
Yes.. betting a salary. A bit overboard!
Thank you for the excellent take on Braun, and for reminding me about Aaron Rodgers. I completely forgot about the Packers’ Pretty Boy standing behind Braun on his Holy Pedestal of Righteous Indignation. “Accuse me?! How Dare you accuse me!” “Oh, you caught me? Oh. Ok, then”…..(slinks away in corner for 65 games or so).
The only thing capable of giving the Braun story a run for it’s money is A-Rod, of course. Have you been following that whole debacle?? It’s hilariously pathetic, and at this point flat-out annoying. I was hoping the Yankees would be able to pull a straight swap: Soriano for A-hole, ahem, I mean A-Rod. (Wow, I’m never so actively against a player, and was never so anti-A-Rod…simply neutral. But at this point, he’s just too grating a personality to simply tolerate).
I think I sent you an e-mail Junk Food Guy- definitely shoot me one back. I’d love to be able to continue these sports discussions in places other than the comments section on the food blog.
-John C.
@John C. – Rodgers has since come out obviously saying he too was lied to…I can’t fault him too much now that he’s owned it. Braun really is one of those delusional “if I say it enough, it becomes the truth!” type athlete. Unbelievable.
The saga of Arod is even more incredible, and as a Yankee fan myself, all I can do is shake my head. The most recent debacle, that of this Dr. Gross coming out and saying Arod is fine, and now HE is also part of the Biogenesis investigation, is just laughable.
Re; Email, Yeah I got it! Sorry for the lack of response so far – in all honesty, after Twitter, Facebook, and comments, the JFG email comes in fourth….and all of those come after my own personal email and work email. Besides, what’s wrong with discussing on these comment boards? I encourage lively debate from all readers! 🙂
@junkfoodguy-
Very true about including everybody. Just easier to follow the conversation, or thread, or whatever you’d like to call it through e-mail. I totally understand the time-constraints, however.
Rumor has it A-Rod’d sentence is coming down soon…I wonder what it’s gonna be. Any guesses?
@John C: I’d be surprised if he didn’t at least get a ban for the rest of this year. MLB is GUNG HO, and even if all the actions they are doing get turned over on appeal, they are going to lay the smack down at all costs NOW.
What do you think of the three-way Peavy – Iglesias – rookie trade between Sox-DET-CWS?
@junkfoodguy: So do you think Selig will go the CBA route, and A-Rod won’t be able to play while appealing? Or you think he’ll lay down and take his punishment like the egotistical little cheater he is?
As for the Peavy trade- I’m nervous. As you know, I’m a huge Yankees fan (great win last night, I actually stayed up for it!!!) and the Sox definitely got a lot stronger pre-deadline. Oo, I suppose I have to specify- the sox of the RED variety, as both of their deals were with Sox of another color. And of course, the Tigers were covering their arse’s in the event Jhonny Peralta gets suspended and decides not to appeal.
On top of that, the O’s and Rays both made decent moves, so this is going to be tense the next few weeks as Cashman works the waiver wires. What about you? What are your thoughts??
*Random aside: Based on my use of “arse”, what exactly is the swearing policy in comments?? Obviously not gonna drop any F-bombs, but you know what I mean- what is/isn’t allowed?
Also, is it easiest to continue this convo in this thread, or should we move it to another? I leave it to your judgement as the host.
@John C. – with Jeter hurt again and Arod penciled in today, my head is spinning. Arod will fight it, because he really has nothing else…this stain will affect every other endorsement or job position he goes for. Arod, right now, will never be able to bench coach or even coach a small college team – too much of a circus. So his only shot left is to get some redemption through the appeals process.
The Red Sox will rue the day they got rid of Iglesias.
As far as swearing, I have no real filter…I tend to veer away from swearing in my actual posts, but people can go nuts in the comments. It’s all good.
@junkfoodguy- A-Rod seeking redemption with this appeal? I doubt it, unless you mean redeeming the benjamins. Nowhere in anything he or any of his highly paid posse has said has there been a denial of the accusations. They’re right on the mark. What they’re appealing and take issue with is the length of the punishment. That’s the only thing he’s fighting at this point.
Yea, I can’t believe the Jeter news. I was finally hoping to have the Captain back for the rest of the season. Oh well, looks like the season’s now gonna be dominated by the circus with this whole appeal going on.
What I find really outrageous are the statements saying the appeal will take the rest of the season. He’s the only dude appealing! It’s not like the guy has a huge workload at the moment- MLB and the player’s union is just trying to play Rope-a-dope till the season runs out (which I believe it will) before they have to announce anything.
@John: I found his press conference yesterday to be uncomfortable…though I can understand why he’d be so tight lipped however, since his attorneys probably advised him extensively. Still – ugh. Though watching Curt Schilling critique the press conference was also annoying.
This *IS* going to be a daily circus. Incredible…this’ll be the most difficult Yankee season in recent memory for me.
@junkfoodguy: Yea, the only thing worse than his press conference was the shirt Andy Pettitte was wearing during his post-game interview.
The more I think about it, the bigger problem I have on a moral “sanctity of the game” level that they’re letting A-Rod play during his appeal. I can understand letting the player play during his appeal if it’s under normal circumstances i.e. “Ya got the wrong guy; I didn’t do it, etc.” But A-Rod and Michael Weiner have basically explicitly stated that he’s not claiming he’s innocent, just that his punishment doesn’t fit the crime. Thus, he COMMIT THE DAMN CRIME!
So let’s say the Yankees somehow miraculously make it to the post-season. World Series…bottom of the 9th, and A-Rod blasts one to win it (I know, NEVER happen, but go with it…). I’d feel kinda dirty about it, and suddenly the veracity of the WS victory would come into contention. I know I wouldn’t be ok with it. Counter-argument is the guys that cheated or were cheating at the time and found guilty later, but you can’t really do anything about that. THIS one is preventable though.
Yea, this season is gonna be tough to keep going with. Hopefully we hit an upswing tonight though. (So far, so good).
Now, I think we may have to move this conversation to another thread, or create a new post for it or something. Your thoughts???? I know you’re busy, but I also still wish you’d respond to that e-mail, if only so we have a more direct means of communication as well. These chats have made this debacle more interesting, haha.
-John C.
@John: Yanks are 59-57, with 46 games to go. I’m still holding out hope.
And I’m going to do another baseball post soon – we can continue talking there 🙂
Hey Junk Food Guy! I live in Australia and I can tell you why they’re called ‘Chicken Crimpy’ it’s actually a a combination of the flavour and the shape, how the edges are crimped. That’s it. I wish it could have been more exciting…. 🙂 I love love love Chricken Crimpy but can’t eat them due to the E621 which I’m allergic to. However there are well over 20 flavours, I seriously suggest you try and get your hands on Pizza Shapes.
Love your site, your Oreo flavours make me weep as they’re my favourite snack food and we have dull flavours in Australia.
@NYSSA: THAT IS BRILLIANT. Your explanation makes so much sense, and I’m glad – it was sort of driving me batty. Thank you!
And oh just you wait – I DID get a box of pizza shapes! Review coming soon.
I’m coming in late here, but I have some good news. The Crimpy flavour definitely isn’t from the chicken’s taint. Birds have a combined butt-hole and hoo-ha, called a cloaca, so they don’t even have taints!
@Chris: LOL. I’m glad to know we have an anatomist out there helping dig deeper into this flavor!
Mate, you’ve been hood winked, lead up the garden path… JolLyr ogered. Pizzza and BBQ are the only shapes worth their salt. You can barely find Crimpy in the shops. The ‘Australian’ who bought you CC to review has done themselves and Australia a disservice.
@ED: LOL, wow! I need to find more Arnott’s to make an educated opinion, I think
I am in Australia and many people here are boycotting Arnotts for their use of palm oil. If you want to save forests and orangutans please don’t promote these biscuits.
ROFL you praise shapes and say they are showing american’s how to make seasoning and I have to LAUGH MY ASS OFF. As an American living in Australia I can honestly say that not one bit of food here is half as good as in the states.
As for Shapes, they have NO seasoning on them, not a tiny bit. Sure you can SEE it, but you sure as hell can’t TASTE IT!
Go buy yourself a box of cheeze-its or Tid bits and then a package of Cheddar Shapes and I assure you the difference is there. My husband has me buy Chex Mix and other Crackers from the USA because they TASTE SO MUCH BETTER!
@Christina: Oh I agree – Cheez-its are my favorite. I like Shapes when it comes to some of their more exotic, not-readily-available-in-USA flavors.
As an Aussie, I still don’t know what chicken Crimpy is. All I can assume is that it’s basically the chicken version of a French fry because as somebody stated, they do a chicken drumstick flavour as well.
Also, no flavour to shapes? You can’t taste it? That’s ludicrous. You’ve clearly got no taste buds…
yo diggity dawg this be the realest shizzle fo real though my G