Junk Food Nation, my job has been seriously working me over, so much that Saturday mornings when I can finally sleep in have become a real black hole.  This morning I actually woke up at my crazy early pre-600am weekday time (because my body was programmed as such). I got up, ran some errands, came home, and promptly crawled into bed…until now.  My body just needed sleep.  Ugh.  What is happening?  How is it almost 2:00pm already??  Why is there drool everywhere?  Did I leave groceries I bought this morning just out on the counter and passed out without refrigerating anything? Yes. Yes I did.

Let’s take a look at what’s going on my local grocery shelves:

Baking chips!

FOUND @ GIANT GROCERY: Saw these Andes candies baking chips at my local grocery.  Huge thumbs up here – if you’re gonna make holiday cookies, why NOT make them with these peppermint chocolate based chips? I’d dump a bunch of these into my mouth as I was making cookies too.

Um…hello?

FOUND @ GIANT GROCERY: Utz Chocolate Covered Pretzels are nothing new, but I was amused by the HUGE TOWER DISPLAY of these at my local grocery.  Are these flying off the shelves, such that they need to put out 80+ TUBS of this stuff at once?  This was an alarming amount of chocolate covered pretzels, even for me.

Big old chunks of ice cream

FOUND @ GIANT GROCERY: When i saw these Kemps Ice Cream creations, they reminded me SO MUCH of the old school Good Humor Mickey Mouse bars!   Although, those winter snowmen look a little creepy.  Yikes.

Senior Mints

FOUND @ CVS: So, deluxe size Junior Mints are basically Bon Bon sized chocolates with minty filling?  How inventive :/ From now on, I’m calling Reese’s Cups “deluze size Reese’s Pieces.”

NO

FOUND @ CVS: I cannot think of anything I’d rather NOT eat than these Candy Cane Tootsie Pops.  I already have not been a fan of Tootsie Pops, as I only enjoyed Tootsie Rolls sparingly through my years.  Having it at the center of a Tootsie Pop was never those times, and then to make the outside candy cane???  BLECH.

The last straw

FOUND @ CVS: Of course, I spoke too soon…there IS something I’d rather not eat than a Candy Cane Toosie Pop, and it’s these Bubble Gum filled Candy Canes. Someone in this world felt like this atrocity needed to happen.  “Real Bubble Gum inside!” As opposed to what!?

How in the world are you even supposed to EAT these???  As you suck off some of the candy cane, you chew a little bit of gum?  And then are you supposed to just store this wad of gum in your mouth as you suck down more of the cane to reveal more gum?  This is worst way to have gum, EVER.  Someone did NOT think this one through.  AWFUL.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy