Junk Food Nation, I like, but don’t LOVE, Halloween.  I dunno. Like many of you, I enjoy the candy…but I mean, I’m a grown ass man now.  I can buy candy whenever I want.  Sure, I like seeing girls dressed up as sluts – who doesn’t? But the internet has plenty of slutty girls to peruse. I don’t love being scared or horror movies, I don’t get off on witchcraft or monsters or the supernatural…so that aspect doesn’t appeal to me.  And I’m sure when I have kids, seeing my little tots as a pumpkin or a danish will be really cute…but that’s not now.

So what’s left then? Just the act of dressing up in costume.  And I can tell you – I don’t LOVE dressing up. I never wanted to BE Iron Man, or a zombie, or anything.  Which is totally fine – I have a lot of friends who really enjoy Halloween, and I like their costumes and applaud the effort, etc.  But for me, I always felt uncomfortable.

Especially here in DC – it’s such an event-driven town, but not everyone gets down.  So you’re always stuck in one of two situations:

1) YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE IN COSTUME ON THE WAY TO PARTY/BAR/ETC.  Last night, I was on a subway car with a hundred people dressed normally, and there was one dude dressed as the man character from A Clockwork Orange.  Derby hat, cane, creepy eye shadow, HUGE CROTCH PIECE, everything.  And everyone just stared at him the whole time during the ride.  So awkward.

2) YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE NOT WEARING A COSTUME. Contrast that with going to a bar where a costume party is going on, and you’re the only donkey NOT wearing one.  Last night I was surrounded by Elves, Sailors, Superheroes, TV Characters, etc…and what was I? Dude in jeans.  And I hate the lame excuses you have to give, “Oh, I’m…a tired attorney.” That response always gets a polite laugh and then people stop talking to you.  Ack.

So yeah – that’s just me and my awkward self.  Tonight promises to be a menagerie of costumes on parade, and I hope everyone has a good time and stays safe!  (I sound like a parent.)

Today’s junk food: New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread!

New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread: The Money Shot

Mentioned to me by my friend Nick a little while back, I finally found this New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread at my local Giant Food Supermarket last week.  I’ve had some mixed experiences with Swirl bread in the past, but it’s been mostly positive.

Because when I think bread, I think apples and caramel

The challenge with this New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread is how much will the bread actually taste like, or have hints of, caramel apple.  The Strawberry Banana was great – tasted sort of like banana bread with bits of strawberry.  But I’m not used to apple bread, or caramel bread…though I could be convinced.

Cinnamon swirled with caramel flavors and apple bits?

See, this is what worries me about this New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread – the description already trends away from the caramel apple side of things, and starts talking about cinnamon.  So is this cinnamon bread, then, Pepperidge Farm?  And if so, why not say that in the flavor description?  Misleading.

Lotsa sugah

At least apples are listed in front of cinnamon, but where’s the caramel? Grrrrr……

Decent look

New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread had a great apple smell when I opened the bag, and I must admit – there was a tiny bit of caramel smell.  It did indeed smell sort of like a caramel apple.  Kind of excited!

Lots of cinnamon, and apple…no caramel

New Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Caramel Apple Swirl Bread fails to live up to the name.  Yes, it’s a wonderful sweet bread.  Yes, the apple bits are tangy and fruity, and taste like apple, providing a great apple flavor to the bread.  Yes, the cinnamon gives everything a nice spice taste and gives the whole bite a nice Fall feeling.  But the caramel flavor? No where to be found.

I mean, I could taste sweetness, I could taste brown sugar…but caramel has a distinct, burnt sugar, almost smoky creamy flavor.  And I didn’t taste it here, sorry.

So would I eat this again? Sure, why not.  But is this actually CARAMEL apple bread? Nope.

PURCHASED AT: Giant

COST: 2 for $4.29…so….$2.15 about?

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy