Herr’s Hot Onion Rings & Better Invention: Air Conditioning or the Internet?
Junk Food Nation, I’ve been having this debate with some friends of mine, and I CANNOT get a definitive answer. The question is: what’s the better invention – air conditioning or internet? It’s a pretty straightforward question. One thing keeps you cool when days are hot, and the other allows you to access infinite information. The answer I typically get from my friends is: “easy, internet.”
Their rationale: The internet not only allows you to connect to people all over the world and access information about whatever you want to know about, but it’s also a interactive medium with music, movies, books, etc. The internet has taken our lives and amplified them to the Nth degree. to them, internet wins, slam dunk.
My answer? CLEARLY, AIR CONDITIONING. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Let’s say this slowly: IT KEEPS YOU COOL WHEN YOU ARE HOT. Do you know how MIND BLOWING that is??? Without the internet, I can still read books, watch TV, play sports, watch sports, gamble, drink, eat – I can do almost EVERYTHING I did before the internet. Without AC? I’d have died long ago, I’m sure of it. Eating all this junk food with no way to cool myself? Bonkers. You’d find me melted on the sidewalk, a bag of Oreos steaming to the side. And don’t give me this, “Just sit in the shade or use a fan.” YOU SIT IN THE SHADE, JERK. I’ll be over here in my 65-degree chill box that is my apartment and eat Funyuns and watch baseball, thanks.
Of course, some of my friends’ counterargument: internet porn. Well, you got me there, don’t you?
What do YOU think, Junk Food Nation? Let me know in the comments below: AC or Web? What’s the winner?
Today’s junk food: Herr’s Hot Onion Rings!
Herr’s Hot Onion Rings: The Money Shot
Herr’s Hot Onion Rings were bought at my local Walgreens. I figured I’d review these today having just mentioned Funyuns. I haven’t had a Funyuns-like snack in a while, so why not? I like that herr’s lit up HOT like it was a neon sign. Even though that has no real link to anything at all.
What? When does this ever happen?
The imagery on these Herr’s Hot Onion Rings is sort of weird, because in real life, when have you ever eaten HOT onion rings? I LOVE onion rings, but typically I’m dipping them into some kind of special sauce with mayo and ketchup, or just into ketchup itself, or drizzled with vinegar. I’ve never dipped onion rings into hot sauce – but maybe it’s ME that’s missing out?
220 cal per bag
That’s some list of words
Herr’s Hot Onion Rings are clearly not good for you. It also doesn’t help that Red 40 Lake is SO HIGH on the list of ingredients. Worried about eating too much food dye? Yeah, these aren’t for you.
Herr’s Hot Onion Rings
Love is like a ring of fire? I ….I don’t think that’s an expression. Even the Johnny Cash song doesn’t say that.
NEON!
Herr’s Hot Onion Rings were SO RED when they came out of the bag. They didn’t smell like much – just sort of onion powder-y, like how regular Funyuns smell.
Plenty of powder
Herr’s Hot Onion Rings do get credit, however – lots of powder on these. Time to crunch.
Chew chew chew….well, they aren’t horrible. texturally, these didn’t have the same type of snap that Funyuns have. They are kind of Cheeto or Cheese Curl-y, with lots of air pockets in this snack that makes the whole thing sort of melt in your mouth if you sucked on it. I’d almost say they tasted stale…if it hadn’t been for the fact that I JUST opened this bag.
The flavor was actually decent – very onion-y, and then a good tang as the hot sauce took over. Slightly tangy, and then the burn kicked in….so very slight, but lasted after I swallowed. To me, not very spicy, but could be for some.
Altogether? The decent flavor with the mediocre texture compel me to give this snack a thumbs down. Sorry Herr’s – just not my thing. I’ll stick to real onion rings.
PURCHASED AT: Walgreens
COST: $0.99
Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 12 Comments
Yeah, I would say that all “onion ring” snacks end up being disappointing, because they aren’t as good as Funyuns.
I would agree with AC being the greater invention. Besides, without AC, all the server farms that hold the info on the internet would overheat. Except in Iceland, which apparently is trying to make that their next big industry.
@SFChin: you may have just check-mated the argument. Server farms? BRILLIANT!
Having traveled overseas to places that didn’t have AC–I appreciate it!
@Elisa: Concur. i just don’t like being sweaty.
“Love is like a ring of fire” – ha ha ha! They’re making up sayings to go on their bags! I’m imagining their barbecue onion rings – “As they say, love is like a dry rub steak…” Ah, copywriters…
AC vs. Internet is a tough call. I vote for AC too – it’s going to help us survive the planet’s rising temperature from burning us up. Plus has the Internet really made our lives better? Or has it just sped up the pace of living to the point where we’re all stressed and having ulcers? Hmmm…
@Teresapalooza: I will say it’s not a huge win – I think there are arguments to be made for the internet. I’d say that AC wins by a nose
We are not going to imagine a world without either……we just can’t do it 🙂 What the internet tells me about AC……
These looked and sounded good to us but based on your review, we’re not running out to our local Walgreen’s to scan the shelves. Yep, onion ring snacks just can’t compete, and almost can’t/shouldn’t be compared, against the real thing! It’s like comparing grape flavored gum (any candy), against real grapes….. sort of.
@ChipReview: Yeah, I just got done eating a basket of onion rings and they were great. I should be eating those all the time
Unquestionably air conditioning (and its sister-technology, refrigeration) are mankind’s best modern inventions. Without a doubt. Keeping food cold and keeping homes pleasantly cool against sticky, disgusting heat/humidity all over the world? Nothing, absolutely nothing tops this very necessary and life-enhancing relief. Hot summer temperatures are a torment to humanity. Have been for millennia. So imagine being unable to reach for a cold drink or blast your rooms with cold air when arriving home from work on a dog-day afternoon in August? Imagine a train commute with no AC? Imagine no AC in your vehicle? Its absurd to compare anything silly computers might offer, against these palpable physical pleasures.
The internet is really just a luxury. And it doesn’t really do all that much. Enables us to chat with people in far-off distant countries? Nonsense. How much chatting do we actually do with these supposed peoples? And how foreign are they, really? I mean, how odd that all these exotic peoples all speak English, eh? The truth is, they’re all internet-surfers like ourselves, so is that really a ‘cultural exchange’? What kinds of vital topics are we kicking around in an X- Box or PS-3 chatroom? My point: the internet is way over-rated. Its simply a form of more-interactive television. Definitely not crucial for cultural progress; merely a time-waster and a boredom-killer.
@Cepacol: LOL, I totally agree AC is clutch. While I do love internet…it is indeed a luxury. but a glorious GLORIOUS luxury.
This opinion from JFG is still (I think) the most salient wisdom from him which I have yet read on this site. Sound reasoning. Solid, no-two-ways-about-it, right-thinking. It’s a beautiful thing.
A world without air conditioning!?!? My god. Intolerable. Beyond bearing. Air conditioning separates us from the animals. ‘Only mad-dogs (and Englishmen) go out in the midday sun’–that great line wasn’t written for no reason. There probably would have been a lot less wars in human history, had there been more air-conditioning.
This is still one of the best blog posts I’ve ever seen or read anywhere. Air conditioning vs the internet, is the perfect threshold question for human intelligence these days. Sublime. Ineffable. A veritable litmus test to separate dingbats and doofuses from rational human beings. Vote for the internet and go over there across the room and sit on the bench with the developmentally-challenged. Its okay. Meanwhile, vote for air-conditioning and count yourself among the clear-seeing, the lucid, the reasonable, the cognitive. Its a transcendent test-question. The life-savvy.
This reality-check should be placed in our school systems before the issuing of any diplomas. Its the modern and up-to-date version of the classic children’s moral-lesson folktale or Biblical parable. Hare or tortoise? Straw or bricks? Poison or apple? Wolf or sheep? Internet or air-conditioning? If anyone truly thinks the internet is the best invention, please step forward. You will be placed in a home or something. The beauty of natural selection…