Junk Food Nation, Opinion Week rolls on!  Earlier this week someone wanted me to comment on Chewing Gum Sizes, and what my thoughts were.  Oh, and I do have an opinion on chewing gum:

1. Bubble Gum is clearly the 1-seed.  The composition of bubble gum makes it extra soft and you can blow ginormous bubbles with it.  I remember when I first learned how to blow bubbles in my gum – I felt like a man finally.  It’s a perfect size chunk that you can just chew and chew and chew.  None of this jaw breaking Bazooka bubble gum crap either (why is all Bazooka gum fossilized until you add saliva?), but give me some standard Hubba Hubba that has searing sugary flavor for a good 3-5 minutes and then gives me bubble making ecstasy for the next 45.

2. Chiclet-size gum is my next favorite.  Usually it’s a breath freshener, and you get to chew up a delightful candy shell.  Moreover, once you actually reduce the gum into its fully chewed form – the amount of gum is smaller than the size of a pea! SUPER easy to dispose of – either spitting it out the side of my mouth inconspicuously into the grass or swallowing it down to ruin my insides.  Ever try to spit a piece of bubble gum out without anyone noticing?  It’s like you’re launching a satellite into orbit.

3. Classic stick (Big Red Style) and Smaller Stick (Trident Style) is what I buy most of the time, and it is certainly NOT my favorite…it’s just usually on sale.  The problem I have with these gums, oft tabbed as actual “chewing gum,” is that it’s just slightly too much gum to spit out than the chiclet gum, and it’s for some reason WAAAAY stickier than bubble gum.  Trying to blow a bubble with Doublemint always results in a horrid sticky film all around my lips that I need a solvent to remove.  It loses flavor as fast as bubble gum, and has no tangible benefit over chiclet gum.  Chewing gum is the worst.  Plus, when you pull out that warped pack of Orbitz or Wrigley’s Spearmint from you pocket….mmmmm gimme some of that body heat gum.  Yuck. (Exception: Juicy Fruit.  I’ve been one of those kids who have unwrapped a jumbo pack of Juicy Fruit and jammed it all in my mouth.  It’s great – as a kid I was making my own dental impression models.

4. Some quick thoughts: (a) Big League Chew – great when I was a kid, but as an over 30 grown man, it’s hard to justify eating strings of bubble gum in any public setting.  “Mommy, that man has Big League Chew!” “Get away from that man, honey.”  (b) Bubble Tape – You know, Bubble Tape isn’t bad, except I don’t like how, similar to Big League Chew, it’s covered in that corn starchy powder to keep everything from sticking together.  So gross – I need a napkin to eat that stuff.  I wanna chew gum, not look like a heroin addict.  (c) Blow Pops – I used to crunch on these things from the start, just chewing the huge shards of candy right into the small ball of gum.  It’s like a thicker shelled chiclet, in my mind.

Keep the TOPICS coming, Junk Food Nation!  Let’s finish out this week strong.  Favorite flavor of toothpaste? Things I wish I had done in 2^nd grade?  Places I wish I had never visited before?  Let’s talk about it.

Today’s Junk Food: Limited Time Only Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles! Now, the below picture represents two of the weapons I attack my dinner with on most nights. Frank’s Red Hot and Frank’s Buffalo Wing Sauce might as well have a place on my belt.  The Original is superb, and the Buffalo Wing Sauce is a little more buttery.

My handweapons

I reviewed some the other Frank’s Red Hot Pringles I found at Walmart a while back – their Buffalo Wing flavor and Chili n’ Lime Flavor.  The Chili n’ Lime I just didn’t like because I didn’t like the artificial lime flavor, and the Buffalo Wing ones I felt weren’t up to snuff – kinda meek.

I went to Walmart recently, and FINALLY found some of the Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles…I don’t know if I missed these the first time around, but here they are.  Let’s dig in.

Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles: The Money Shot

Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles: Love that familiar looking label

Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles: 10 cal per chip

Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles: Why is the Pringles can so shiny?

Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles: Flaky and orange

Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles: A decent amount of powder

In preparation of eating these Frank’s Red Hot Original Pringles, I made sure to take a fingerful of Frank’s hot sauce and taste it so I could compare.  And then I bit into these chips.

I must say, pretty spot on.  The flavor was bold – immediate cayenne pepper taste and a strong STRONG tang. At times, when I thought the sauce flavor was too weak, I’d give another chew and a whole new pocket of spice would kick in.  The burn from the cayenne pepper taste lingered nicely on the tongue – these were definitely not too spicy, but had noticeable tingle.

Another thing which made me think the flavor was just right was the strong garlic flavor, which I recognize from Frank’s Red Hot.  That stronger garlic flavor made the whole chip more savory.

And what about the overly-salty feeling I got from the Buffalo Wing chips?  For some reason, these had plenty of salt, but it went more to accentuate the tang of the vinegar here than in the Buffalo Wing version.  I dunno – it tasted more RIGHT here.

In conclusion, I enjoyed these.  The other variations not so much.  I might’ve preferred MORE powder and spice, but I know the general populace can’t take it.  These chips delivered on the label promise – like it.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart

COST: $1.50 each, on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy