Junk Food Nation, the Olympics begin today!  What’s that you say – opening ceremonies aren’t until Friday?  WAKE UP, WORLD.  Women’s Olympic Soccer begins TODAY, and the US Women’s Soccer Team plays at 1100am-ish EST. Maybe Noon-ish. So you can start waving those Stars and Stripes today, people!  Why would you watch Women’s Soccer? Have you FORGOTTEN the Women’s World Cup??

Also, a side story – last night I was at my local Safeway grocery store, and they have this shelf where they put 50% off items.  Usually it’s random shit like brownie mix and cans of chili.  The items have a bright orange sticker and notes the original price with a big 50% OFF stamp on it.  So I was perusing the crap when I noticed this bag of chips:

Safeway 50% off Chips

It’s a bag of Safeway brand Jalapeno Potato Chips.  Nothing special, right? But then I looked closer…

What the

$13.99?????  This had to be a misprint, no?  But EVERY SINGLE OTHER BAG OF CHIPS ON THE SHELF had a $13.99 sticker.  I don’t know what these chips are supposed to do, but they better sit and say Thank You if I’m paying $14 bucks for a bag of chips.  Even half-price – seven dollars?

Then I noticed the expiration date – best by July 25, 2012?  That’s friggin’ TODAY!  I can’t remember the last time I saw a packaged item that ACTUALLY expired.  When I told my buddy Joe about these, he remarked, “So not only am I shelling out fourteen dollars for this product, but I also have to eat them all by tomorrow?”  Safeway…wow.

Today’s junk food: New Quaker Soft Baked Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies!

New Quaker Soft Baked Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies: The Money Shot

This might be my first time reviewing a Quaker Oats product.  Did you know that Quaker Oats Company began in 1901? I sure as hell didn’t.  That’s a long time for an oat company.  Then again, what competition do you have?  No one is out there thinking, “You know what EFF Quaker Oats, let’s start our own competitor!” Yeah, no.

New Quaker Soft Baked Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies is one of Quaker’s most recent ventures.  I can’t believe they didn’t do this sooner. Oats…oatmeal cookies.  DUH.

Obligatory apple and cinnamon stick photo

Apple Cinnamon is just one of five flavors Quaker has now.  Pretty simple design – cookie wrapped in the title ribbon, with the necessary (?) photo of an apple and some cinnamon sticks.  Can I get paid to design these boxes?

Perfect bitemark in that cookie, eh?

Waitaminit….130 years? But the Quaker Oat company has only been around since 1901!  Who’s right, you or Wiki, Quaker Oats!?

Pouches o’ cookie

New Quaker Soft Baked Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies come in six individually wrapped pouches – perfect for lunches or slipping one into your bag for work.  While I hate waste, I love individual packs.  Mainly because I like that it’s tidy to throw away after.  So, I hate waste, but I love being able to throw away waste. Yeah, I’m normal.

No hiding all the preservatives

170 calories per cookie is kind of a lot – I mean, I could probably demolish 3-4 of these cookies in one sitting, and that’s gonna be the equivalent of an entire meal…

Great texture

As soon as I opened a pouch of these New Quaker Soft Baked Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies, there was a nice smell of apple cinnamon that wafted out.  If you’ve had apple cinnamon muffins or granola bars, you know what I’m talking about.  Just the plain old smell of fresh baked cookie and apple cinnamon.  Texture-wise, it was very soft – clearly the result of some chemical tampering.  It takes a unique combo of fats and oil to keep cookies this soft…I left half the cookie out overnight, and it was just as soft as the night before – no staleness.

Oat-y and satisfying

With the first bite of these New Quaker Soft Baked Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies, I thought……”not bad.” The texture of the cookie is very soft to chew on, like a standard oatmeal cookie, and my teeth hit small patches of dried apple, which was nice.  The flavor – very cinnamon-y and good sweet oatmeal cookie flavor.  Not too sugary though – a lot of the sweetness was accented with the tang of the dired apple and the strong flavor of cinnamon.  The oat-y taste was very satisfying.

Taste and texture combo was really very good.  Only one small gripe – as a processed cookie, the aftertaste was a litttttttle waxy.  But other than that, a solid cookie.  My favorite cookie in the world?  No.  And I’m not crazy about apple cinnamon generally.  But for those who do – you’ll like these.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Grocery

COST: $2.00 on sale, $2.69 retail

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy