Junk Food Nation, I am not Korean. That’s one way to start a blog post, no?  No, I have Korean friends, and I enjoy some Korean food, I just happen to not be Korean.  And it’s weird – I’ve had friends for years and years ask me out of the blue one day, “Hey…you’re Korean, right?”  What? And it’s weird, I get all offended – and I don’t know why, because there’s nothing wrong with being Korean.  It’s the whole “all Asians look the same,” “all white people look the same,” etc. etc. stereotype.  But before I get bent out of shape, I always remember the following Dave Chappelle routine, and then I realize I have no reason to be offended:

Now, while I am not Korean, I do love me a good Korean grocery store.  Not only does the local Korean grocery store I frequent have all the Asian essentials I grew up with, but it also has great produce and snacks…such as this following Ramen Snack!  I put ???? in the title because I have NO EFFING CLUE what this bag says.  Please, Korean friends.  Help me translate.

??????Ramen Snack: The Money Shot

I have no idea what this bag says; the only thing I can tell is that it’s a bag of ramen snack from the pictures on the bag.  Ramen snack? Let me explain – most people know that ramen is a block of dehydrated noodles that once re-hydrated can be mixed with sodium to create a tasty noodle soup.  I’ve reviewed some standard Beef Ramen on this blog before.

??????Ramen Snack: FRIEND…I hope so

In the US version of ramen, the noodles tend to be a waxy lifeless block of white noodles, packaged with a silver foil packet of very brown looking salty beef bouillon. In a distinctly Asian company’s version of ramen, however, these blocks of noodles often come pre-flavored – the noodles themselves have been embedded with sodium or onion powder, etc.  The “flavor pack” that comes along with it usually has dehydrated vegetables in it along with the powdered soup base.  In other words, it’s kicked up a notch. Now most little Asian kids I know, at one time or another, has torn open the package and eaten the not-cooked ramen block. I know this seems gross (and looking back, it probably was), but those Asian-based ramen blocks were pretty tasty and, unlike the cement block that Top Ramen is, those ramen blocks were often very munchable.

??????Ramen Snack: This picture helped me know what the hell I was buying

So companies have taken it step further and created full on Ramen snacks, like this one!  Essentially it’s a bag of noodle-like cracker snacks with various flavorings – I’ve seen soy sauce flavor, hot and spicy, you name it – it’s probably been made and being sold at your local Asian grocery.  I picked this particular bag up because I had no idea what it said and it looked colorful.  Nice, huh?

??????Ramen Snack: I have no idea

Ramen inspires some great stories. A friend once told me that his friend used to take the dry ramen block and dip it into the flavor powder like some kind of demented Fun Dip…and then just chomp on the block itself like it was a sandwich.  Wow.

??????Ramen Snack: Saporo Ramen Hot…ok, now we’re getting somewhere.

My buddy Joe told me he used to mix a can of anchovies in with every bowl of ramen he had. That’s for those who like to up the sodium content considerably.

Finally, I remember a now doctor-friend who was usually so swamped with classes and rotations that she used to make ramen a gourmet do-it-all meal in a bowl – she’d take ramen, crack an egg into it, unload a can of tuna, and pour in a cup of frozen mixed vegetables.  Bowl to a frenzy, and gobble down, all within 20 minutes.  Here’s hoping I’m never THAT busy.

??????Ramen Snack: Wait, what?

As for this Ramen Snack, I dunno.  It’s bothersome to me that there are the ingredients printed on the bag, and now there’s a random sticker on the bag featuring even LESS ingredients.  What is going on here??

??????Ramen Snack: Mmmmmm noodle-y

When I opened this bag of ramen snack, out came tumbling lot of little noodle-crackers.  These actually are just starchy strings made to look long and thin like noodles – but I can tell from their texture these aren’t real noodles.  If I boiled these in water, I’d get mush, not noodles.  So this is ramen snack made to LOOK like ramen but which aren’t actual ramen noodles themselves.  My head is spinning.

??????Ramen Snack: Starchified!

Eating these felt like I was putting a wad of petrified Big League Chew in my mouth.  I crunched and…meh.  This is nothing like when I was a kid grossily eating dried ramen noodles.  These were plain old starchy cracker noodles.  Starchy, salty, but not flavorful…there was a 1/1000 size burn at the end of the chew, but not enough to call flavor.  These were essentially like those “chinese noodles” restaurants put on Asian inspired salads to give texture.  All crunch, no flavor.  Blech.  I need to get back to US junk food.

PURCHASED AT: My local Korean grocery

COST: $1.79

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out. Sincerely, Junk Food Guy