Good morning, Junk Food Nation.  I’m groggy … stupid NBA Finals.  Yawn.  So, it’s Friday. What’s up with you?  Today I wanted to go back to Ireland, where I went in May, and discuss some more snacks and junk foods I saw across the pond.  Today – snacks that are fun to say with a British Accent!

One of the favorite Ireland pastimes of my other sister, whom I shall call Actor Sis from this day forward, was to go around reading everything on signs and labels in a fake British accent. I mean, it was like we were on holiday in Mary Poppins or My Fair Lady.  And these snacks I found were just silly in their names…and equally silly to read aloud.

I like the bite taken out of the Y

“Cheerio, mate. Care for a Nutty Nibbles?” Nutty nibbles sounds like a funny porn movie title, doesn’t it? “Nutty Nibbles, a wacky romp into the flip side of sex! Starring Betty White.”

Mmmm those ARE really cheesy

Wotsits? I guess it’s no weirder than us having a chocolate bar called Whatchamacalit. And these are just Cheetos, am I right? You can just imagine the commercial: “Ho, chap, what’s that you have there?”

“Wotsits.”

“What’s that?”

“Wotsits.”

“No, I’m asking YOU What’s It!”

“Third base!”

Scrummy just like how mice are…scrummy?

I’ve enjoy the word “scrummy” ever since this:

So scrummy indeed.

It’s so emphatic

I enjoyed the name of this junk food because whether the word SNACK is meant as a verb or noun, it’s still ridiculous.  SNACK! as in SNACK ON THIS!  vs. SNACK! as in FOOD! Plus, love the little tagline… it’s like good cop, bad cop. “EAT THIS SNACK!” “…sure, why not?”

Maybe I will

“PUT THIS SNACK IN YO MOUTH!” Kind old Irishman: “…ah, go on.”

How many absurd words can we put together at once?

Bitsa Wispa! A bit of whisper? What? Now I think Cadbury is just being cute. “Lotsa itsy bitsa wispa” is like one of those verbal exercises you do to practice enunciation.

What does “Be treatwise” mean?

“Cheeky chunks of itsy bitsa wispa!” Say that five times fast. In fact, is it possible to say that phrase and NOT sound like a character from Love Actually?

JAMTASTIC!

JAMMIE DODGERS!  These definitely had me chuckling. Calling cookies that are loaded with jam “jammie” with an -IE is so very British.  “I’d just like a spot of tea and a jammie dodger, thanks. Pip pip cheerio.”

Heh heh, how many times can I stereotype how English people sound? Plenty, apparently.

But what about second breakfast?

Elevenses!!  Reminds me of the first time I ever heard of the term:

The definitely need a commercial with Pippin marketing these chocolatey cakes.

They do love their soccer

The Irish and British do love their soccer!  These fan cans immediately caught my eye…they aren’t Pringles. They’re Pringooooooooooooals.  Of course, when’s the last time you were at a soccer match and someone was chowing on Pringles?  That begs the question, when’s the last time you were at a soccer match? The answer for most Americans is never.  These definitely wouldn’t make sense here.

Thoughts? Hit me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy