Junk Food Nation, today is 4/20, which is essentially a junk food snacker’s holiday.  Everyone enjoy your recreation safely today, ya hear?  While you’re doing that, I wanted to mention: if you follow entertainment news, you’re already familiar with Mel Gibson: the star of Braveheart and What Women Want, and the notorious anti-Semite and ex-wife hating lunatic. He’s comic gold for late night talk shows, TMZ, and E!News.

Well, apparently even MORE audio has just been released of Gibson’s madness.  Here he can he heard yelling at Joe Eszterhas, a screenwriter, while both were in Costa Rica ON VACATION:

Basically, Joe was supposed to finish some screenplay called “The Maccabees” and when it wasn’t done, Gibson flipped the eff out.  This of course opened the floodgates, allowing Gibson to start swearing and trashing his ex-wife…you know, per usual.  So many bleeps – my pure ears can’t take ’em!

Every single entertainment media outlet has been covering this, but I wanted to point out something.  At the beginning, when he yells “Why don’t I have a first draft of ‘The Maccabees?!'” …he is yelling SO loud that he actually has to break up his usual voice pattern and sound out each syllable of “THE MAC-CA-BEES!” MAAAC CAAA BEEEES! That’s a CHOICE to sound the word out that way, with no air interruption, and that’s why he’s a maniac. He didn’t want any word pronunciation getting in the way of him being as LOUG as possible.  Nutjob. Maybe HE needs to enjoy 4/20 and mellow the eff out.

Today’s junk food is ANOTHER Orion snack!  Orion O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips!

The Money Shot

Oh, Orion, what have you done this time.  After reviewing many of your dessert-style mini cakes, I’m scared to think of what your ventures in savory snacks will bring.  And now, I have my answer: Orion O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips. The cover of this bag has a cartoon character straight out of a Pixar film carrying a basket of…somethings.  Let’s break it down.

WHAT!?

This just looks like a funny picture to me.  Does this say O!Karto? I have no clue.

Kind of looks like cheese with tomato sauce on it...or lasagna...unsure

Orion O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips, what the hell is this? Italian Gratin flavor? Like…Italian Cheese flavor? Is that what this is? Breaded cheese on a plate covered in marinara? Is that REALLY how this tastes?

There's no way potato chips in Italy look like this

There is no way in hell that potato chips look like this in Italy.  Correct me if I’m wrong, PLEASE.  But square tubes?? I feel like I would’ve heard of this format LONG ago is this were true.

Italian "style" snack? Wha??

Wait…maybe Orion is trying to make these O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips look like FRENCH FRIES!  Do you think that’s it? The square-ish sticks of potato?  WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I’M TRYING TO DECIPHER THE DA VINCI CODE HERE?

And PS: You’re calling this guy Mr. Karto? Now I’m totally confused.

Where's the gratin?

Orion O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips contain vegetable oil as ingredient #1 (bad sign) and make no mention of anything flavoring these chips except for…”Flavour.” (double bad sign).

Tubular Pringles

These Orion O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips DO look like dried up French Fries. Which really isn’t an appetizing look, really.  Time to taste these bad boys…

Speckled ever so slightly with red/orange

These Orion O!Karto Italian Gratin Flavored Italian Potato Chips were very odd.  The texture of these “chips” were very much like Pringles – because they are made of potato starch, they are crispy at first but slaiva totally turns these into mush.  When you chew them, tasted like potato even if the format was odd and tubular.

The flavor? Well, like I said before, i’m really not sure what Italian Gratin is supposed to be, but this very faintly tasted of a sweet tomato sauce…sort of.  I say sort of because what it tastes like is the “tomato sauce” in Chef Boyardee cans – a very sweet, processed, tomato-ey flavor.  Certainly NOT like any tomato sauce I would make.  The faint flavor was so sweet that in my mind, it flipflopped between a tomato taste and a ketchup taste.  Very strange.

Was these a cheesy-gratin flavor? I mean…maybe? I really didn’t taste it, unless THAT was what I was supposed to be tasting when the sweetness of the tomato came through.

Overall, however, this snack WAS savory.  I didn’t HATE the taste, and the texture wasn’t TOO off putting.  But overall, these snacks gave me the shivers.  I probably wouldn’t actively buy these, but I’d eat them if they were out during a party.  A really weird party.

Thoughts? Hit me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy