New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ & A Bad April Fools Day Experience
Happy April Fools Day, Junk Food Nation. I really enjoy this holiday, but I must admit, it hasn’t always gone well for me in the past. My Freshmen Year of college, our class president played an email prank on us. He sent an email on this day indicating that our upcoming room draw process, due to budget cuts or something equally absurd, was cancelled, and that rooms would be randomly selected, etc. Naturally this caused a huge uproar. An hour later, he sent a followup email, indicating that we had been pranked. I think he had some hundreds of emails and voicemails to delete from that interim hour, but he had indeed gotten us good.
I thought this was HILARIOUS, so I decided to follow his lead. In my head, this SOUNDED funny: I wrote all of my high school friends telling them I had “gotten drunk the night before and subsequently slept with a random girl and gotten her pregnant.” Funny, right? (cue the audience: grooooan). Oh, I know. Well, NOW I know.
So I sent my followup email an hour later, indicating “APRIL FOOLS! Miss you guys!” Yeah….it didn’t elicit the same hilarity I thought it would. I received many angry emails in return, telling me that unexpected pregnancy was no joking matter, and they were really surprised and disappointed in me. Like, REALLY disappointed in me. ANGRY EMAILS.
Help me, Junk Food Nation – what do you think? Had I overstepped the line? Or were they just overly sensitive? Granted I did this joke over ten years ago…in today’s environment, with the shit that’s on TV and Youtube, this would be nothing…right? I dunno. Tell me in the comments below.
Anyways, onto today’s junk food. I reviewed the New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme Chips yesterday… and you didn’t think I’d go to the grocery store and only buy ONE of the TWO new Doritos Jacked flavors, did you? Clearly you don’t know me…today’s junk food: New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ!!!
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: The Money Shot
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: Still not sure what JACKED means. Like when you're bodybuilding and you're JACKED? That usually means you're juicing.
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: The light rays behind the chip make it seem like its not only emerged from the ground but also that it has some incredible energy..which makes sense, because, hey, it's Doritos.
Anybody else remember the segment on Sunday NFL Countdown / Monday Night Countdown where they used to show big hits during the day’s football games, and each of the idiot heads in the studio would yell in unison, “He got…JACKED! UP!”? Of course, the NFL asked them to knock it off because they were celebrating big hits, something the NFL apparently did not want. I blame the JACKED UP segment for the current bounty system scandal.
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: Sucralose?? I don't want no Splenda chips!
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: Mind blowing flavor is a tall order to fill. I better have a mouthgasm when I eat these Doritos.
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: Baby back rib flavor, JACKED UP WITH CHIPOTLE PEPPERS. Well, its worth a shot.
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: Big thick bold chips.
I already showed you yesterday how big and thick these JACKED chips were in comparison to regular Doritos. When I opened the bag of the New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ chips, I could smell a slight smoke scent, in addition to a slight tingle to my nostrils reflecting perhaps the chipotle peppers.
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: Definitely painted on thick with flavor powder.
New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ: The spicy powder covered every inch of the inch.
For those who love BBQ flavored chips, the taste of these New Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle BBQ chips will satisfy you. Definitely huge crunch. The thicker and bigger chip gives a more substantial bite.
The first taste is an immediate sweet sweet barbecue flavor…it’s bold and has a lot of different aspects to it. It tastes of brown sugar, garlic, onion, all wrapped up in a tomatoey blanket. Not sure if I necessarily get a meaty taste, like the description indicated, but the taste of a good BBQ sauce was there. Then the smoke – definitely noticeable. As you breathe in and out as you chew, the smoke flavor comes out to mix with everything.
Finally, halfway through the chew, the burn from the chipotle peppers starts to kick in, and then it keeps kicking. These chips have a very nice afterburn…I’m used to spice, but these will make anyone’s mouth tingle with peppery delight. In fact, after eating a chip, the tingle lingers for a good few minutes.
All in all a VERY satisfying and kicked up version of a BBQ chip. While myself, I don’t LOVE BBQ chips, generally, I’d recommend these to anyone. Doritos Jacked – I’d say you are two for two! Translation? MAKE MORE JACKED FLAVORS!
Thoughts? Hit me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page. Sincerely, Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 4 Comments
Your April Fools prank is mild compared to the one I experienced when I was flying on April 1st some years back. I was flying from Sacramento to Denver (and then on to Wichita), after 45 minutes into the flight, the captain went on and announced that we are experienced some engine trouble, and will need to have an emergency landing in Wyoming. You can imagine how everyone felt, and then after a couple minutes, he announced “April Fools”, you should have see some of the passengers’ reaction …
@tina: my god I think I would wet myself! Pilots aren’t allowed to pull that stuff!
Oh wow, that is bad Tina! No one has a sense of humor when they’re traveling – least of all while on a plane – that pilot should have known that!
Though JFG, the pregnancy prank is pretty awful too – I’m guessing it was mostly girls who got angry at you. Oh dear – makes me think of Mike Birbiglia telling a similar story in his stand-up routine and when the audience groaned, he said, “I know! I’m in the future also!”
Doritos Jacked Smoky Chipotle remain my #1 fave modern Dorito variety —but lately I’ve sampled Doritos ‘Spicy Street Taco’ (JACKED) and its a decent substitute when Smoky Chipotle is not to be had. Plenty of red/orange powder on these chips. Spicy kick. Unfortunately the flavor of the chip doesn’t announce itself very clearly–I’d never be able to name this flavor without seeing the bag. Looked on the JFG site to see if Spicy Street Taco has been reviewed yet, but nothing found.
The larger question I have is this: why the heck has there been no good/new chip release from Doritos in any recent while? Is Frito-Lay pushing its resources under some other member of their chip family which needs support, thereby stealing staff and funding away from the Doritos team? No new ideas in some time now.
Sure, Doritos Roulette just came out..but I want more JACKED flavors.