SUPERBOWL XLVI: Party Like It’s 2008 & Comment Chat with the Junk Food Guy All Night! (Plus My Pick)
Junk Food Nation, the Super Bowl is HERE! For Tom Brady and the Patriots, it’s a revenge game for 2008 when the Giants broke them. For Eli Manning and the Giants, it’s a chance to be recognized as one of the best teams of the last decade. Across the nation, chili is cooking, crockpots are bubbling, wings are grilling, dips are mixing, ten lords a leapin’, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milkin… Super Bowl partying is UNDERWAY! And right now, at 10AM on ESPN, Sunday NFL Countdown is already on. The game is eight hours away, people! Do I need Chris Berman shouting this early in the morning?
**BE SURE to read until the end, where we’ll be trying something experimental DURING the Super Bowl!**
Anyways, in preparation for this event, my office had a pre-emptive Super Bowl party, featuring some fun treats…like Super Bowl cake!
How fun. PS: Someone clearly doesn’t know how to slice a cake. Good Lord.
How ’bout some cupcakes with plastic Super Bowl rings in the frosting!
PS: I’m pretty sure the real Super Bowl rings don’t have stickers on them.
Anyways, let’s discuss my pick/prediction/total wild guess. First, I don’t like the Patriots. Being a Buffalo Bills fan, they have been a divisional rival for as long as I can remember. You can imagine my annoyance when they started to win Super Bowls. Ugh, c’mon Kurt Warner! It didn’t help that, being a Yankees fan, I now had to deal with so many Red Sox fans who now had another team to embolden them.
I’m from Upstate New York originally, so I am not a Giants fan either. In fact, “Wide Right” is a horrifying memory for me, so I REALLY don’t like the Giants. Sure, I was rooting for them in 2008 because I didn’t want New England to have an undefeated season but…the relationship was short. More like a one night stand.
Tonight? Ugh. I GUESS I am hoping that the Giants win, because I dislike the Patriots more. On the Patriots side, AARON HERNANDEZ again will be the key. In the Denver game, he was a rushing threat that the Broncos couldn’t account for. In the Baltimore game, he was an additional receiving threat that the Ravens couldn’t account for. The Giants will be savvy enough to cover Welker and Gronk over the middle, but Hernandez runs the sidelines well.
On the Giants side, JUSTIN TUCK and JASON PIERRE PAUL will be the key. The only way you beat Tom Brady is to BEAT TOM BRADY. If Brady is allowed to wait in the pocket – you’ve lost already. Once Brady moves his feet, you have a chance. That’s what the Jets did last year, and that’s what the Giants need to do this year. Tom Brady isn’t Aaron Rodgers or Big Ben – he can’t run and throw. Force Brady to roll, and you’ll roll.
My pick? Everyone is picking the Giants across the board, despite the Patriots being favored. Giants players are tweeting about how “they got this.” Experts are crowing about the Giants balanced offense and defense. Me? I’m not convinced. The Patriots are coming into this the media-underdog, and they love that position. Belichick and Brady are killers and they have been staying out of the limelight working their asses off. They have figured out several ways to beat the Giants. And when the dust clears, we will all be wondering how we all ended up picking the Giants.
So while I HOPE the Giants win, I predict the PATRIOTS will take this.
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OK, Junk Food Nation, wanna interact with me during the Superbowl? Well, there’s many ways you can do it – I’ll be tweeting during the game, so you can always hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy. I’ll be posting on my Facebook Page, too, you can always get me there.
But I’ll also be COMMENT CHATTING all night! It’s a simple term, and I’m trademarking it. That is, I’ll be adding a play-by-play of commentary in the comments below, instead of writing a recap post the next day with time stamps. If you wanna be part of the action, just post a comment, and I’ll reply while I’m posting.
Of course, this all depends on my fucking server holding up. But if it does – you’ll be able to talk with me all night! And please do! I’ll be working hard – so why not take advantage? Ask questions, make comments – I’ll be here all night, folks.
Enjoy the game!
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 64 Comments
I am also worried that all the stories about the game starting as soon as the game is over will be something like: “How Could We Have Been So Stupid to Think the Patriots Weren’t Going to Win This Game?”
JFG: the Giants-Patriots all-time series is tied 5-5. Does that mean the SB ends in a tie?
@Kahnfucius: Well, if the Superbowl DOES end in a tie, then Bud Selig will make sure the Pro Bowl determines home field next year.
T-minus 4 hrs til game time, still so much to do; luckily I ate a pastrami & corned beef sandwich for lunch for fuel #mistake #sluggish
Ginger cookies cooling on the counter in a ginger-y manner, ready for transport soon.
@Lindemann: gingerly awaiting. #imadork
Testing testing! Anyone out there?
Red Leader, standing by.
last minute workout before 3000 calories of super bowl indulgence #sweat
Doomsday Preppers on NatGeo …wow. What has happened, humanity? #psychopaths
Pork has been in slow cooker for over 20 hrs #succulent
Red Five, standing by.
Andrew: “Wow, Hines Ward is looking particularly Asian tonight.”
Faith Hill: “Al and Cris are the best on TV”
WRONG
so i love kelly clarkson. shut it.
FREE PIZZA FOR EVERYONE! (everyone that’s a rewards club Papa Johns member). wait, did I sign up for that?
I made my super spicy chili!
@JP: NICE! I just found that recipe recently in a random box.
GISELE SIGHTING! I am winning all these prop bets.
I love the Patriots!
Me: never leave laptop open when Pats fan around
12 men on the field is a defeating penalty
George Takei on Celebrity Apprentice! Don’t mess with the captain of the Excelsior.
@JP: LOL! You nerd.
How many songs will Bud Light ruin tonight? Over under 4.
I’m waiting for the Connect 4 movie preview.
@JP: Chutes and Ladders
I’d be pissed if prohibition ended and all the bar had was Budweiser.
@JP: But you’d like it if they had Miller Chill
Better than Bud Light Lime.
Running total on night: 2 pork sandwiches, 1 falafel, 1 bowl chili #fatass
My friend Mike, the Pats fan: Ugh (on repeat)
NBC – you introduced the Giants offensive line in the most awkward fashion ever
Kate asked why their hands were like that. I said to grab boobies.
Mike: Wes Welker’s wife is Ms. Hooters International.
Andrew: Is that a compliment?
Me: Um, how is it NOT a compliment?
GI Joe 2… with THE ROCK??! Yes, please!
Adriana Lima looked better not talking than talking. Just sayin’.
Guy in my office just won the first AND second quarters in the Super Bowl squares pool. Damnit.
Mike: Madonna should sing Like a Virgin for Tim Tebow.
Andrew: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?
Re: bouncing guy on rope – WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
GAH LMFAO!!! #nightmares
I don’t care; I’ll say it: CGI Field is badass.
Way to phone it in, Madonna. Go enjoy your obscene amount of money you were paid for that.
super bowl halftime show ends with Ron Artest’s name on the field!?
Madonna rips off mask to reveal Tim Tebow #onlyiftheworldwasperfect
How did those cookie-wrapped-twix turn out?!
according to others: “FUCKING EPIC”
We interrupt this game for the Bob Costas sermon
No kidding. I thought I feel asleep and woke up for the Summer Olympics.
#OCHOCINCO CATCH!? #apocalypsenow
did we just see Tom Brady’s O face? #ThanksNBC
wait…is a. ohno still relevant????
I’m sorry, can someone please turn off Cris’ and Al’s mics?
Office guy just won 3 quarters in a row! WHAT. THE. HELL.
when Brady moves, the Pats lose #imapoet
Way to mention rescue dogs for a whole 2 seconds, Bud Light
Giants trying to lose this game #payattentiontotheclockidiots
Adriana Lima in two commercials!? #Weareallwinnershere
Matt: “The Darkness reunited for a stylus-based phone commercial???”
IT’S TEBOW TIME!