Junk Food Guy NOT Seeking: Valentine’s Candy (& the Fallacy of It)
Junk Food Nation, I did a whole slew of posts on holiday candy. Even though many companies merely shape their chocolates or gummies into angels and trees for the holiday season, there were a few companies who did really well, incorporating peppermint chips and cinnamon spice into their typical fare. The holiday season, as it were, has distinct flavors that come along with it: cinnamon, peppermint, spice, gingerbread, molasses, etc.
As soon as the New Year hit, Valentine’s Day candy was all over the shelves. We’re talking pink hearts, red hearts, bears holding hearts, hearts holding bears, rose colored boxes, and so forth. And I will be reviewing NONE of it! Why? Because it’s POINTLESS, that’s why!
No, I’m not a Valentine’s Day curmudgeon – while I share the sentiment of many that it’s just a made up holiday designed to get you to spend endless amounts of cash on crappy pink/red stuff that will just get tossed out in a week, I understand the holiday. No, I’m not going to do any reviews even making fun of Valentine’s Day candy, because the joke would always be the same: “All you’ve done is made _____ candy ‘red!'” “All you’ve done is made ______ candy ‘heart shaped!'” “All you’ve done is added hearts to the packaging!”
The Valentine’s Day holiday has no flavors associated with it. Don’t give me this crap about chocolate covered fruit, because I see chocolate covered fruit marketed at Easter AND Christmas. You certainly don’t see peppermint snowflakes marketed at Fourth of July time, do you? No, you don’t.
With no real flavors associated with Valentine’s Day candy, it makes reviewing Valentine’s Day candy boring. Here’s a Snickers, shaped like a heart! Here’s a gummy, shaped like a heart! While it was sort of fun to tease companies try to get into the winter Holiday spirit, the companies don’t even TRY at Valentine’s Day. They just pop different ink and designs into the computer, and continue running that machine.
So unless I see something extraordinary, you won’t be seeing any Valentine’s Day candy reviews from me. Nope. Nadda. Sorry!
Thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.
Sincerely, Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 2 Comments
All fair points. I just wish to note that cinnamon hearts are more available at Valentine’s Day than at any other time of year, and they can be used to make a really tasty cookie. (I’m not pushing for a cinnamon hearts review, of course, because they all taste the same.)
@Andrew – ah cinnamon hearts – the staple of every Valentine’s cookie. Make some for me!