Junk Food Nation, this morning I experienced an awkward moment that occurs quite often for me. And, to be sure, it’s not a hugely embarrassing moment, or one that necessarily causes my heart to tighten or quicken, but it is an annoyance that always makes me think, “Ugh, I have to do THIS again?” I call it the Sidewalk Passby.

The Sidewalk Passby occurs when you’re walking down the street or sidewalk, and you see someone down the way walking in front of you.  After a while, you realize you’re gaining on them…but ever so slowly.  See, if you’re walking 4.0 MPH, they’re walking 3.95 MPH – just slow enough for you to catch up at a snail’s pace.  And as you approach, you have a choice:

1)      Do I keep my pace and walk side by side with this person for a good 30 seconds who will then think I’m trying to mug them? “Hey how you doin’? Yeah I’m just gonna walk here next to you uncomfortably for a second while we pretend we’re friends.  Hey what music are you listening to? Do you think I’m creepy? You do? Well, only 20 more seconds of this!”

2)      Do I slow down to what feels to me to be an impermissibly slow rate of walking? “Good lord, if you’re gonna walk THIS Slow why not just slow down all the way, and let me by? Do you have nowhere to be? Because I do.  Ugh, just watching you is making ME more sluggish.”

3)      Do I speed up and long stride it past them like I’m some sort of Olympic speed walker, hips swiveling and everything? “And here we go…great, now I’m breaking a sweat walking in these uncomfortable shoes like I REALLY have somewhere to be, when really I just want to get to McDonald’s before the breakfast menu ends.”

I always end up going with choice 3, which has its own downfalls.  First, inevitably, there is always a DON’T WALK symbol somewhere, which means while I’m waiting there, the person who passed catches up and I can feel them giving me the “Well, look who’s in such a hurry” look of smugness that they got to the same corner I did without running. This cat and mouse game can go on for several blocks. Second, sometimes once you pass one person there’s a whole SLEW of other walkers in front of THEM, meaning you have to walk even FASTER to somehow get to the head of the group. Finally, if you discover the person you’re passing happens to be kind of cute, there’s no way to go back and have a chat.  Nixed.

More on this after the jump.  Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Stacy’s Pita Chips Simply Gingerbread!

The Money Shot

On any given day, there’ s nothing I like more than some Stacy’s Pita Chips and hummus.  Yummy yummy. Stacy’s makes a variety of flavors of pita chip, from Cinnamon Sugar to Garden Veggie. I tend to trend towards the more savory of the spectrum, but when I saw these, I was intrigued.  Gingerbread-flavored pita chips?  Count me in.

Limited Time Only

You know it’s been a while since I saw a snack advertised as “Limited Time Only!” For some reason when I hear this, my mind drifts back to when I used to collect Happy Meal toys when a crappy movie-related trinket was available for “a limited time only.”

That's some pile of brown sugar

The imagery is good here. Big thick chips covered with spices, and little gingerbread men up top. Along with a big ass pile of brown sugar. Me likes brown sugar.

The Art of Basic?

You let FANS name this chip, and they named it “Simply Gingerbread” ??  O….k. I’d have called it something over the top, like CINNAMON SUGAR GINGERBREAD SPLOSION CARNIVAL, but that wouldn’t have been the Art of Basic.

Lotsa brown sugar

What is natural Gingerbread flavor? Ginger?

Hieroglyphics for junk food

I like baked loaf of bread as the symbol for “Baked” as opposed to a picture of Pauly Shore.

Crunchy and sugary

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Each piece of these Gingerbread Pita Chips looks a lot like the Cinnamon Sugar variety of Stacy’s Pita Chip. Maybe there’s a little darker color to these chips, with a little more molasses involved.  I dunno – for some reason when I saw the word “gingerbread” I expected a dark dark chip.

THAT's some brown sugar

Cinnamon surface

Each chip of these Limited Edition Stacy’s Pita Chips Simply Gingerbread was, as you can see, LOADED with seasoning – brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, the works.  I took one bite, and was pleased but not wowed.  Definitely a tasty chip – the crunchiness of the Pita Chip never disappoints. Each chew released a nice toasted pita flavor, which was very satisfying.

The sweetness wasn’t overbearing, but was present – the cinnamon sugar combo made the chip taste like I was biting into a nice cinnamon toast.  And the gingerbread flavor…well, it was there too, but muted.  The molasses flavor was on point, so that was good, but the bite of the ginger was slight.  I could feel that ginger and nutmeg tinge just a little when my tongue first hit the spice-rubbed surface of the chip, but as I chewed the flavor gave way to a more cinnamon-y flavor. Which was fine – but I would’ve preferred more ginger flavor.  Otherwise, I would’ve stuck with the Cinnamon Sugar variety.

So, not bad, Stacy’s. Up the spice next time!

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To conclude this post, I wanted to mention that I’ve had the Sidewalk Passby happen to me many times also.  I’ll be walking at what appears to be a good pace when out of the corner of my eye I see a dark blob – and it’s a person huffing and puffing to walk quickly past me.  When that happens, I usually stop and let them pass me.  See? I’m trying to make the situation not as awkward for him/her…until I catch up to them at the corner.  <sing song voice> Well, well, look who got the same corner without sprinting, loser.

Any thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy