Junk Food Nation – December is here!  And with it, bitter bitter cold.  Geebus!  But before I move on, don’t forget about my Simply 7 Chip Giveaway Contest! – click here to go, read, and find out how to enter!  Hummus and lentil chips could be yours 

The weather is just starting to turn to bitter cold here in DC, so longer coats, boats, and gloves are starting to make an appearance.  In addition, freakishly huge headphones are apparently in season.  Good. Lord. Over the past week I’ve seen a disturbing number of people on the train wearing cans that would make Mix Master Mike blush.

Look, I get it.  You like music / your podcasts / your books on tape / your sounds of the ocean breathing or other white noise. So do I. But unless you’re the Astronomical Kid or Eminem, riding the subways and writing lyrics on an old napkin, there’s really no need for that. There’s no need to wear huge headphones to blast the beat into your head while riding to your job at the SEC.

Why do I say this? Because you look ridiculous.  You’re wearing a navy business suit, a pinstriped red tie, carrying a small briefcase, and headphones the size of two Cinnabons strapped to the side of your head. Really? This is what we’re working with here? Does that give you cred, like, “Yeah, I may have a work badge clipped to my belt, but in real life I’m a free spirit.” Yeah, no.

That said, I would looooove these for Xmas 😉

Today’s junk food: Keebler Merry Mint Patties!

The Money Shot

Keebler Merry Mint Patties – yeah I know what you’re thinking.  Aren’t these just like Thin Mints?  Didn’t Keebler already make something like this in their Mint Creme Middles Graham Cookies?  That I already reviewed?  Yeah, well, shush.  I like mint chocolate cookies, and so when I found these in my local Fresh & Greens store, I pounced.

Happy elf

As you can see from the box front, these cookies are a plain vanilla cookie covered in a thin layer of mint, and then covered all over with fudgey fudgey goodness.  NOM NOM.

For holiday creativity, though, Keebler is coming up a little short here.  A few snowflakes, some flowery lettering, and a Keebler elf holding up one cookie? Not really screaming holiday cheer here, guys.  It’s not even the real Keebler elf!

That's the gift idea?

Keebler Merry Mint Patties holiday gift idea!  They suggest….making the recipe on the back, and putting them in a holiday tin? Err….ok.  Let’s see what this amazing recipe is…

Recipes that involve crushing these cookies...not cool

Sorry for the tiny tiny print.  I’ll sum up for you: Take Keebler Merry Mint Patties, mix into melted chocolate, and let dry to make “fudge.” Yeah, I’m not going to be doing this.

CONTEST!

Keebler Merry Mint Patties has a contest too!  Dude, five grand???  SIGN ME UP!

DAMNIT

ARGH, YOU TEASE, KEEBLER, YOU TEASE!!!

Snazzy!

Keebler Merry Mint Patties look exactly how they were shown on the box, and they do look tasty. Perfect rows of cookies freshly preserved in cellophane.  These fudgey treats can’t be healthy.

Perfect lime green ripple

Up close, you can really see the detail – each fudge cookie is piped with a minty tiger stripes, and they are perfectly formed – no smudges, no aberrations in the stripes.  Very tasty looking.  Bite time!

Lovely thin layer of creme

Keebler Merry Mint Patties, you rock my world.  REALLY good, almost dangerously so.  Like a Thin Mint cookie, these were light and crispy – not an overbearing crunchy cookie.  The thin layer of minty creme was awesome, and very sweet minty, though not overpowering. Keebler’s fudge coating is of course always solid.  This was almost like a nice York peppermint patty with a cookie inside!  Very flavorful yet light – a solid job all around.  Even if it does feel like Keebler has made these before.  But hey – *I* bought into the new iteration, didn’t I?

Thoughts?  Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy