Sunday Funday, Junk Food Nation!  One of the favorite pastimes at my job is to discuss hypotheticals, usually in the form of “How much would it take…”  Recently, a co-worker of mine said he’d chop off his right hand for two million dollars.  And he’s a guitar player too!  When chided, he replied, “I’ll set up a hook with a guitar pick on the end of it, who cares?  I can still do my chords.”  Wow.

One of the recent hypotheticals lobbed about my office was: “Would you work at your job, every day of the year – no holidays, Sundays, or sick days off – if your salary was a cool $1 million dollars?”

Well, what do you think, Junk Food Nation?  My own answer, after the jump.  Today’s snack is something I’ve had for a while: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips!

The Money Shot

I’ve already described my love for plain Tostitos back in the Hint of Jalapeno post I wrote a while back.  I was a bit disappointed in the Jalapeno chips, so when I saw the Monterey Pepper Jack Tostitos, I was hesitant.  Could these chips deliver on the Pepper Jack Flavor?

One cool thing I JUST noticed – besides the fact that the Tostitos logo represents two people sharing a chip over a bowl of salsa, the larger part of the package is also ingenious.  The clear oval window where you can see the chips is actually part of a large bowl image on the bag itself, such that the chips inside the bag look like they are filling the bowl!  GENIUS.  How had I never noticed that before???  Tostitos, you get major style points.

Yellow

I really enjoy cheese in general, and I have a particular affinity for Pepper Jack cheese.  My favorite part of any wedding reception, networking buffet, or crudite display at a function is the cheese platter, where I like the play the game “how many pepper jack cheese cubes can I stack on top of my little black plastic plate without looking like a maniac?”  The best part of the game is there is no loser – I always win.

I may or may not play this game several times during a reception.

The promise of Monterey Jack Cheese

I had a problem wrapping my mind around the purpose of this chip right off the bat.  With salsa dipping in my mind, the other “Hint of” varieties at least made sense to me: you dip with Hint of Lime to get that extra acidity that the salsa may lack and to replicate the act of squeezing lime over the chips.  You dip with Hint of Jalapeno if you (presumably) want an extra spicy kick that the salsa may lack generally.

But…Hint of Pepper Jack?  Are we trying to recreate nachos here?  I mean, look at the photo above – a bowl of chips with just some random pieces of cheese hanging out nearby.  When does this ever happen? Do people normally want a salsa with a cheesy kick?  That makes no sense.  And since Frito-Lay makes Doritos, why would they bother trying to just “flavor up” Tostitos without a purpose in mind?

The descriptive promise of Monterey Jack Cheese

Apparently its to add a little southwest flavor to your favorite chips.  I dunno about this.

Common appearance

The chips themselves look just like Tostitos, so no surprise here.  I put my nose right up to the opening and took a BIG WHIFF – and smelled a generally savory flavor, hints of onion, pepper, and something else. Couldn’t place my finger on it.

Flecked with red and green

Ooooo pretty.  I will say that Tostitos does make a pretty chip.  Large, toasted, and easy to mentally absorb – the red and green flecks, presumably, reflect the “pepper” in the hint of Pepper jack cheese.  To Tostitos credit, they remain conservative on the seasoning – any more powdering and they’d be Doritos.

First Bite:  Sigh.  My honest take – these chips are damn tasty.  They smell good, and they have a wonderful onion-y, garlic-y, slight pepper-y taste.  It’s very savory and the chips have a delightful crunch that you’d expect from Tostitos.  But.  BUT.  I know I’m not trying to be uber-critical here, but, like the Jalapeno Tostitos, I didn’t get any Pepper Jack cheese taste!

Blistered and seasoned

You all know my rules – deliver what you promise.  The chips look delicious up close, with the blistered pockets and perfectly balanced layer of seasoning.  After a few chips, my tongue did have slight SLIGHT tinge of cheesiness – but nothing distinctly pepper jack.  I took a chip and just sucked on it, letting the flavor run over my tongue…sure it was pleasant and tasty, but was it pepper jack?  No.

I even had a block of pepper jack cheese that I took a nibble from to compare (you can see this photo on my Twitter feed @junkfoodguy).  Not even close.

My buddy Joe mentioned when I was discussing the Jalapeno Tostitos that Onion Powder and Cream were listed ahead of Jalapeno powder in the ingredients list, so basically what I was getting was a Sour Cream and Onion tortilla chip.  Here, the ingredients were virtually the same – except with CHEDDAR cheese listed ahead of everything.  Makes sense, since cheddar is a more impactful flavor than pepper jack; moreover, having read it, I immediately recognized the flavor lingering on my tongue indeed as more slanted toward cheddar than anything else.

Bottomline: a tasty chip, but it didn’t deliver on its flavor promise.

—–

My job, with its ups and downs, rushes and low points, is a good job nonetheless.  I make a decent living. But there is no way I could do it every day for a year straight.  For me, the money just isn’t worth it.

If it was $100 million or even $10 million?  That’s a different story – that’s life changing money.  But $1 million?  You’re talking about grinding it out, essentially forgoing family contact for an entire year, and anything that happened – weddings, newborns, birthdays – all cooked.

Interestingly, many of my co-workers indicated they’d do it for one year and then quit, since $1 million would be equal multiple years of pay – basically looking at those several years as a long vacation.  I remained skeptical – I feel like one year of my job straight would AGE me several years alone!

What do you all think?  Post in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy.  Happy Sunday!

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy